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Boyfriend says he needs time alone. Is this a breakup?
Dating / 1:14 PM - Tuesday August 25, 2009

Boyfriend says he needs time alone. Is this a breakup?

My boyfriend of 5 months suddenly told me he needs some time to be alone to figure out his life. Up until two weeks ago everything was great between us. He hates his job and feels stuck because he can't quit and make the same money. He is depressed because he doesn't feel he is where he wanted to be financially by his age. These stressers make him crabby all the time and he thinks his life sucks.

He says he isn't saying we're over but he needs to be alone to figure out his life. He said he may regret this. He said we'll keep in touch. He gave me back the things I had at his house.

I went by his house to pick up my things and he asked me to stay and hang out a while. He said he misses me already and was very close and cuddly while I was there. I was so confused and I told him so. He said sorry, I just miss you. He thanked me for coming over.

Is this a breakup or what? I haven't tried to contact him at all to give him the time he needs. I understand the man going to his cave thing and I guess that's what he's doing. I guess I'm just looking for advice on whether this is the end and I should move on or should I be patient and wait for him to figure things out. I'm hurting a lot and I miss him so much. I just don't understand why he would push away a good thing when I can be there to be supportive and give him some happiness in these stressful times. Men can be so weird.

I've only been in two relationships since my divorce and am unsure what's going on here. Do these things usually work themselves out or will the relationship just fade away? What do I do?

- Asked by Female, 46-55

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I am finding it humorous that all the woman know what he is doing! ...

Caving is a guy thing and this guy is caving... Leave him be, and he will be back... Not being able to enjoy his work is far more important to men than women, as they get their sense of identity from their work not their relationships. He is genuinely needing to work this guy thing out for himself, and you can't support this issue... Patience...

- Response by siouxzen, A Career Woman, Female, Who Cares?, Los Angeles, Self-Employed

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It sounds like he genuinely still has feelings for you, but just has outside factors stressing him out. He may just be trying to figure that out on his own, so he doesn't take out his frustrations on you. My advice is try to be patient and see how it plays out. Good luck.

- Response by ymiwu, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45

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Community Rating: Community Star

Sounds like it will all work out. Just allow him the time he needs. Good luck, Shane

- Response by shanegalang, A Rebel, Male, 46-55, Transportation

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You must be a priority in a relationship. He is telling you that is not possible right now. Consider it over if only to move on with your own life. Don't spend time wondering what he means, go after what YOU want and don't stop until you find it.

- Response by livestolaugh, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Managerial

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I think the best thing you can do is honor his request and use this time to focus on you. If he truly wants to be in a relationship with you, he will come back. It concerns me that he had you move your stuff out. Just don't let him turn you into a booty call.

- Response by 35bella35, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45

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When a man is really crazy about you, your present will make his day even he has a very bad day. You're his sunshine especially you have been a very understanding woman, not clingy or needy. He wants you more than anything else and hoping you will accept his bad times and go through it with him, as your thoughts that you will be there and support him through his struggle times because you care about him.

He might has some issues and we don't know what it is, you might not know because he won't share it with you, that's another deal breaker, he is not crazy about you dear, he sees you as just a casual girlfriend no more if not less, you should never wait on someone who never see you as a priority in a relationship doesn't matter how hard his life is since you're already in the picture for 5 months.

I would cut all ties and move on to find someone who is ready to loves me and be together through good and bad times


- Response by azianchemistry, A Player, Female, 46-55, San Francisco, Who Cares?

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Im going throught the exact same thing only i have been with my boyfriend 2 years and he suddenly did the same thing, because he has alot of family issues. Up to a week ago he told me I'm his dream woman. and after breaking up with me said he still loves me, i am extremely heartbroken and all i want is him back. I have done my best to cease contact and hope he comes running back .
Good luck to you x

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Dublin, Who Cares?

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Dont you like some time by yourself once in a while?
Let him have some alone time and he will come running back to you.

- Response by amandasboy, A Father Figure, Male, 66 or older, Atlanta, Retired

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Give him his space. He gave you back your things that you had at his place. Right now be a friend. At the same time do not sit around twiddling your thumbs trying to figure him out. Get some things going for "you". You ask if these things have a way of working out? The answer is yes, and whatever the outcome is, that's what suppose to happen.

- Response by peanut1, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Administrative

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- Response by worm7eon, A Jock, Male, 29-35, Celebrity

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