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How do i get my teenage son to break up with a girl?
Family & Parenting / 1:38 PM - Tuesday August 18, 2009

how do i get my teenage son to break up with a girl?

my son is only 14 and has been getting really serious with his girlfriend, seeing her everyday, no one else, being there for 8-10 hours and quite frankly, she's weird. she is very quiet, can hardly ever leave the house, and i do not want her trapping him and preventing him from being a kid! how do I get them to break up?

Update: August 18, 2009.
thank you all for the advice. i know i am the parent, i have tried limiting it and have talked to the parents. they will not let their daughter to our house/neighborhood, even with me, becasue he says "i need to always keep an aye on my little girl" i am dealing with wack jobs here and i feel like i am losing control. my husband is "around" and is his father, we've been married 15 years. i used to drive him and got sick of it so he started riding his bike. just got stolen last night ($350 bike) and the other day he came home with a black eye. they live in a bad neighborhood. so my son is always going there, its a safety issue, etc. and i told the father if the only way they can see eachother is to come to your house, then maybe they shouldn't see eachother. I told him that's my baby the same way your daughter is yours and he said well then I need to take care of that on my end. he is not budging. so i said well then they should break up. and he said for me to do what i had to do but he wasn't going to have any part in making his baby upset! these people do not compromise! how do i make it stop, to have them not see eachother anymore? i am afraid deep inside of him running away or something even worse. these teens are spazes nowadays! i did talk to him about sex, who knows if they listen! i don't care if they date, it's just too serious and too odd of a situation. she is not "good" for him. I want it to end!!!!!!!

- Asked by Female, 36-45

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your the mother you say NO and how is he able to see this girl that long every day.. time to get him into some other activities.. I really dislike the weay you say "she is trapping him" that decision looks like a two way street.. YOUR The parent.. you start putting some ground rules in place

She can come over to your house (NO BEDROOMS) at certain hours with a PARENT AROUND.. I know you can't prevent everything but lets not blame this girl... you are being very harsh on a 14 year old girl.. maybe there is a reason she is just quiet.. either way.. set some rules and make sure he lives by them..

- Response by smartblond, A Sweet Sarah, Female, Who Cares?, Charlotte, Self-Employed

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The more you push him to break up with her the closer they become. He is a minor and under your control, so contacting her parents is something you might want to do.

- Response by barbb, An Alternative Girl, Female, Who Cares?, Other Profession

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Help you son plug into some extracurricular activities he would enjoy such as team sports, music,art or swim lessons, etc.
Also, there is the church youth group.
Having too much time on their hands is what gets teens in trouble.
(Of course, don't tell HIM that...try to be positive and upbeat and look for ways to build him up with words and your time).
Is his dad invovled in his life?

- Response by gettingstronger, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Teaching

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Let me tell you from experience the harder you try to break them up the harder they are going to fight to stay together. Now with that said there are also ways to go around him knowing you want them to break up. Them seing each other everyday and for that long is not health for kids that age. I would just find a way to limit the time and the amount of days they see each other. Also if it is him going over there everyday I would tell him that he is not allowed to go back over there until she comes over here. This way it is a fair amount of time at each house also when they are at your house you can really keep an eye on them. You are the parent and you know what is better for your son.
Good luck.

- Response by nikki_coffman, Female, 36-45, Managerial

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We all don't know the full story here but in the universe there is a simple rule about love that applies here:

How could you possibly be on the right side if you are against and trying to stop love.

Perhaps what you need to do is get to know this girl and have a bit more supervision. You tell him straight up that it's fine he has a girl but you need to control the situation better. Yes that requires work from you. It's not a rip the stiches out, run and hope it works out approach. No offense but it seems that you just want to break them up and not have to worry about it anymore. You need to invite her over. Keep them from being alone together too much.

Love in any form is nice but when they are that young, a good amount of discipline keeps them from jumping on a train to Mexico to elope.

- Response by 7zebras, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, New York, Financial / Banking

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Why don't you encourage your son to ask this girl to go to social activities together, instead of holing up in her home? This could be football games, dances, so on. Now I appreciate that your son is young to be dating, but socializing with girls is fine. Plus you can be around to drive them, and keep an eye on them.

- Response by betterbird, A Creative, Male, 46-55, San Francisco, Administrative

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The more you protest he's going to want to do it,that's the nature of teenagers so you'll want to be careful about how you go about this. You never know,she might be a sweet little girl with screwed up parents. You're son might be a ggod thing for this little girl. I feel bad for her seeing how much her parents shelter her.

- Response by misskitty420, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35, Student

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