Back to Home

Active Questions

Needy friend! I have a friend who is kind generous and I adore her but she smothers me!
Friendship / 11:07 AM - Tuesday August 18, 2009

Needy friend! I have a friend who is kind generous and I adore her but she smothers me!

So this am I had to tell her point blank that I need some ME time, I hate that phrase but I did not know what else to say. I did not want to say "You are driving me freaking bananas" she is constantly inviting herself to things I am doing alone or with others and I include her usually I and I spend time with her and I do things with her but sometimes I want to do things alone or with my husband or another friend am I such a bad person? She is now very upset and pouty and I just do not care at the moment. SO yes I guess I am horrible and I am ok with it! And yes she has other friends, lots of them, she has a husband and 2 beautiful children but she just seems to like me best and I would be flattered if she was not so on top of me!

Ok sorry for venting, thanks for listening. How do you deal with a needy friend?

- Asked by taratara, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Philadelphia, Financial / Banking

Read more about the Rating System


I have just calmy told this friend that 'I need some down time' from everything and everyone.
Or that my husband I need to reconnect and are having an evening to ourselves.
Most of my friends get it, so no hurt feelings usually.

I have completely backed away from the really needy friends.. I just don't have the energy to hold their hands constantly..



- Response by almostsinful, A Married Girl, Female, 36-45

Rating Received:


How would you feel about her if you heard she died in an accident tonight?

- Response by dragonblade, A Rebel, Male, Who Cares?, Artist / Musician / Writer

Rating Received:

Community Rating: Community Star

I actually had a friend like that. She was soooo possesive of me, finally I told her she needed to step back a bit, that I loved our friendship deeply and when I do things without her it doesn't mean I like her any less it just means I have interests and a life outside of her. Unfortunately that didn't go over too well and we stopped talking for awhile. we are stil friendly to this day but not like we used to be. So I guess don't listen to any advice I might give becasue our friendship changed when I opened my mouth.
Good Luck

- Response by almostcoolmom4, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, New York, Other Profession

Rating Received:


No, you aren't a bad person. And you deal with a needy friend just the way you dealt with it. No need to second guess yourself here. You did what you had to do. Let her other friends deal with her now. You are free of her...for now. She'll be back. Sometimes we just need to set boundaries, and this is what you have done. Good for you!

- Response by beautifulsc, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Technical

Rating Received:


i'd like to be on top of you.

- Response by jackstraw, A Life of the Party, Male, 36-45, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


Ignore them...

- Response by unpredictable45, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Managerial

Rating Received:


I deal with them by not "allowing" them to drive me crazy like you have posted above. Is it because I don't care or love them..no. It is the fact that I know me and there has to be a balance. We are the captains of our own ship...navigate wisely. =0)

- Response by uasked, A Career Woman, Female, 56-65, Veterinary

Rating Received: