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On why do so few women respond to emails, initiate emails, or wink?
Dating / 12:04 PM - Monday August 17, 2009

On why do so few women respond to emails, initiate emails, or wink?

In general I see two or three women a week that I am interested in on At first I was just winking them, but was told women hate being winked at. So I started emailing the ones I was interested in. I have had very little response from winking or emails leaving me in a quandry.
My profile gets viewed quite a bit and all my emails indicate they were read. has its suggestions which I believe I follow and even had a professional design my profile. The professional profile made no difference and I hated it so I took it down. Now I want other people's advise of how they think I should go about this.

- Asked by hikermedicwmr, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 29-35, Portland, Medical / Dental

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From my personal experience, seemed to be a a contest for guys to see how many ladies they could meet and date. I didn't meet any serious contenders on They were all players too busy checking out the future possibilities.

I found the man of my dreams on EHarmony. I highly recommend you try it to find ladies serious about their relationships and not just players looking for free dinners and dates.

- Response by utahmom, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Managerial

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They are not interested in you so they do not respond. Just keep trying...

- Response by newnumbersguy32, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Financial / Banking

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If you are getting two or three first dates a week then getting dates isn't your problem, it is getting second dates. Unless you have dishonest pictures or listed dishonest information then a better profile probably isn't going to help get second dates.

- Response by bailarenfuego, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Technical

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Isn't that a site where you have to be a full member to respond?? I think some people are made to look like they are members, to attract people, even tho most people don't have a membership.
Too pricey.

- Response by roaminginsomniac, An Alternative Girl, Female, 46-55, Law Enforcement

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Keep trying, keep reaching out. I went on and I got HUNDREDS of emails. It was quite overwhelming and I could only answer a fraction of them, so I narrowed it down by proximity and how much of my criteria they met, or if their initial email 'grabbed' me for some reason (I'm a sucker for a keen sense of humor). You might try asking them an innocuous question that has to do with something specific on their profile, so they don't think your initial email is a stock email (some guys send out stock emails to everyone and it becomes obvious).

Don't give up though, it might not happen right away. It took about five years of off-and-on internet and realtime dating, but I finally met my husband on yahoo dot com.

My advice is to cast a wider net, and don't be discouraged if somebody does not answer you, there are a number of reasons for it, and it's nothing you should take personal.

- Response by jeezydeezy22, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Los Angeles, Consulting

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BF and I met via match. Remember, not everyone is a member, hence they can't communicate back with you.

I loved being winked at. It was an initial connection.

- Response by cubbiegal, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Chicago, Administrative

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There are more men and fewer women on that site. Most of their profiles are computer generated non-existent individuals.

- Response by int24h, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, Alternative Medicine

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Alot of those woman have already quit Match, but Match keeps their profile up to get guys to sign up.

- Response by weehead, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65

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Well I am a woman and I have the same issue. Very few men respond to messages I send. I do not understand why because from what I hear women are usually getting "hundreds" of messages a day (actual words, and winks and likes don't count) on dating sites. Men are always complaining that the women don't write back, that they are picky, and that never initiate the contact. I can barely get 1 or 2 a week let alone hundreds a day, or whatever the urban myth is. And before anyone asks, are you overweight, old, are unattractive, the answer is NO! I am slim, blond, good looking(or used to think I faith in this is starting to waiver since being on match) and highly educated and 30! I also look 5 years younger so if you saw me in real life you'd guess I was 25. What gives?! Are there some magic words I need to use to get a response ?

- Response by A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35

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