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My boyfriend shows me no affection :(
Sex & Intimacy / 4:10 PM - Sunday August 09, 2009

My boyfriend shows me no affection :(

I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months now and he just doesn't seem interested. At the beginning he was really into me and loved being around me but things have changed dramatically. He now just doesn't bother making any effort what-so-ever to kiss me, hold me, give me any kind of compliment. The only way I would get any affection is if I made the move but even at that he's very blunt and everything seems forced with him. It hurts that the man who says he loves me just doesn't want to be near me. I feel affection is a HUGE part of a healthy relationship but sometimes when we are together I just feel like we are 2 friends hanging out. When I tell him how it bothers me I get told I have issues!! Its not like I ask for full on public affection, I just want to be held or kissed when we are alone together now and again. I have finished it a number of times and he has suddenly changed his tune and begged me to come back and for 2-3 days its bliss but then he goes back to his old ways. I have caught him texting other girls inappropritely before and heard rumours but he swears they are lies and he would never hurt me. I know I sound like a mug but surely some people out there know where I'am coming from...what do I do?

- Asked by A Trendsetter, Female, 22-25, Glasgow

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He's lying, doll. I'd drop him. He doesn't want to give you anything, but lies. He might even have another doll he's playing lousy games with. How's his performance? Even with several ladies, some can just go on and on. Sometimes they NEVER satisfy. Find sosmeone who does return your affection. This 'bf' is no-good.

- Response by rholuc, A Thinker, Female, 66 or older, Retired

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Well, you've told him how you feel and when he's not taken you seriously, you dumped him, then he promised to change and you took him back, and the cycle went on....

He is obviously not listening to you, so it's time to leave him for someone who will care about you and give you want you want and need out of a relationship.

It's fine to have a relationship where there is no affection, as long as that is what both parties want. However in your situation, both parties dont want that, so this time, leave him and stick to your guns.

Kissing, hugging, sex and being intimate in others ways is one of the nicest ways of showing someone how much they mean to you, and you're not getting what you want. So go and find someone who will love you as you want to be loved.

- Response by An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35, Student

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Tell him straight up what you want! Tell him you NEED more attention and affection. My boyfriend is only less affectionate when we are around other people, other than he is all over me- kissing, cuddling, holding, etc- and we've been together for 2 years. So it is def not a good sign that he has already stopped being affectionate only 7 months into the relationship. If he doesnt change- leave him. Also, I would be a bit concerned about those texts you mentioned, it may be possible that he isn't giving you attention because he is giving it to some other girl..

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 22-25

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I hear ya girl..... Me and my boyfriend have been together for 21/2 years and about 6 months so he just stopped any kind of physical affection sex, cuddling, kissing everything and your right when I do try to curl up next to him he gets stiff as a board and does everything in his power to make sure he doesn't accidentally touch me its the most hurtfull thing to ever go threw expecially when you love some one so much and you do everything in you're power to make it work but like a good friend said to me you have tried everything and everything still isn't good enough when sure you gonna realize your not the problem he is and if he really loved you then he would be the one trying everything, I hadn't asked him so many times do you still love me he says of course I do, so I told him well your actions contradict your words he had even broke down crying to me asking me not to leave but I just don't understand if you love me that much how could you not want to hug me fiddler me ect... His only answer is idk why I can't be affectionate I just don't have the desire to be ask cuddlie I just wish I didn't love him as much as I do and that leaving was easy cause I believe showing affection is a huge part of the relationship

- Response by stini22, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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