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How to break down a man's emotional wall?
Dating / 1:40 PM - Friday August 07, 2009

How to break down a man's emotional wall?

My boyfriend an I have been dating for 2-1/2 years. I've already broken down part of his wall: He finally says he loves me. He's finally comfortable using the "boyfriend/girlfriend" title. I even lived with him for a while. I'm going with him to North Carolina next week where I'll meet his mom and friends in person. (I've spoken to his mom on the phone before.)

I'm a native Californian and he moved here to pursue music, but he now wants to move back to North Carolina where it's cheaper. He's aiming to move by the end of next year with no inclination of taking me with him. (A previous girlfriend moved to NC with him 5yrs ago where they bought a home. They broke up badly and he lost the home etc. He doesn't want to repeat that.)

He's now become a very logical man and doesn't want emotions getting in the way of his decisions.

Do I stay and hope to break down his wall further? I've already done a bit of breaking! Can he be broken down further?! Or do I date for another year and a half and possibly go through a sad break-up? I hate feeling sad more than any other emotion!

Thanks!!

- Asked by A Hippie Chick, Female, 29-35

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Personally for me the guy must be "Emotionally Available" for me to be happy in a relationship.

I don't date guys who are not. I do not expect guys to change for me in anyway.

I would encourage you to set him free. You've wasted enough time with him.

- Response by utahmom, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Managerial

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WHAT?!? You DON'T LIKE being sad...
Are you kidding? That's hard to buy!

Being SAD gives me the BEST REASON
to go out and get so freakin' drunk.

- Response by geester, A Creative, Male, 56-65, Celebrity

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first of all, yes he can be broken down further. After such a traumatic breakdown it's a near miracle you got near him at all!!!! It's going to take a lot of time and understanding! I've been where he's at an believe me it really big time sours a man's taste for ever letting anyone in again. So a lot of time, patience and understanding will eventually make it through. Due to his previous experiences you are stuck now having to prove that you are not going to do him the same way his ex did. That's a tough row to hoe to say the least but it can be worth it. But you are going to have to be on your game here as he's watching for even the remotest sign that you might do him the same way! I know it's not fair but don't blame him, it's a self preservation thing. If you have to lay blame put it on his ex girlfriend and so many other just like her that have soured the tastes in the mouths of many a good men.

- Response by canajun, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Vancouver, Self-Employed

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You are going to destroy any emotions he has for you if you don't stop what you are doing. In time most people will share their lives with the one they love and care for. But, the way you are proceeding is going to wipe out any feelings he may ever have had for you. Allow him to GIVE you the emotions he has stored up inside not by you "knocking down his walls"!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Response by barbb, An Alternative Girl, Female, Who Cares?, Other Profession

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What kdtxchic30 said...

- Response by depecheduran, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Other Profession

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