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How long should I wait for my boyfriend to propose?
Dating / 8:32 PM - Wednesday August 05, 2009

How long should I wait for my boyfriend to propose?

We have been together for three years. Living together for two. He is in his mid-20's, I am in my early 30's. He says he wants to get married, but he has saved no money for a ring. Is it time to move on?

- Asked by Female, 36-45

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The only person that can answer that question is you. It's been three years of your life. Do you want to wait indefinitely for something that has so far shown itself to be nothing more than talk? It's not about the age difference either. He simply is not ready to get married to you. I personally, feel after 3 years, he should know if you're the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with. I mean, you've been living together for two years. What more does he need to "find out?" Sometimes, when you accept living together before getting married, you put yourself in the position of "non-verbally" saying to the person you're living with, "I'm fine with this." So, they don't expect much and they don't think you do either.

Until, you start having "the talk." You need to find out if you want to continue this relationship with no true marriage commitment. Because, you could find yourself being the "filler" until he does meet the woman he truly wants to marry. Living with someone does not solidify you as the first choice. If it were me, I would talk to him about setting a date and following through. If he couldn't do that and stick to it. I'd move on. But, that's just me. You have to live with your decision. But, just remember. While you're continuing to spend more years with this man. You're also missing out on the men you could have met. The man that truly wants the same relationship that you do, without having to live with you for years, or make you wait. Especially, while they enjoy the benefits of a wife until they decide whether you're worth marrying. IMO

- Response by thelovedovefor1, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Who Cares?

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And I was called impatient today asking to be a MySpace friend?

- Response by geester, A Creative, Male, 56-65, Celebrity

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Community Rating: Community Star

You should. Actually you should be alone for a long while until you discover what is important in a relationship.

- Response by vabyss, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Perhaps a chat with your bf is in order.

- Response by snowkatcher, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Los Angeles, Other Profession

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hold up he was only 17 when you robbed the cradle, are you a pedaphile.. seriously..he's still a baby.. what is wrong with you??? i won't advise you nothing, a woman your age on here for some kind of validation.. your old enough to know what's up.. let him meet some one his age, you already took his teen years.. geez.. nada to you..

- Response by mburgos, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Philadelphia, Who Cares?

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It sounds like it is time to set a time frame to propose/get engaged. The time frame will give you the deadline you need and give him a date to work towards meeting the goal of buyinga ring etc. You will find out soon enough if he is serious and able and willing to propose. I wish you the best.

- Response by lasirenamorena, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Executive

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I totally know how ya feel, my boyfriend is 24, i'm 28 and we have a baby together, we've been together & living together for 4 years as of this coming November and he doesn't even mention the word marriage, it hurts to see when we are with all of our "married" friends how all the females have on rings but me, but hey in due time it will work out for the best b/c this only makes me stronger. When 1 man won't marry you, another one will. Don't worry about how much the ring cost b/c a ring is only materialistic, but just know that you're not alone b/c trouble don't last always.

- Response by brownsugar100409, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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Wow.. so you don't really care about HIM.. so much as you care about a ring and the idea of marriage?

What a classic example of focusing only on the destination, and not the journey.

Yes.. by all means. Break up and move on.

Free him from such a selfish, short-sighted woman.

- Response by steve67, A Rebel, Male, Who Cares?

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Why are you hurrying him?

- Response by wendyshoefitz123, A Player, Female, Who Cares?

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