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I have been seeing this guy I met online for over month now but he won't commit?
Dating / 12:23 PM - Monday August 03, 2009

I have been seeing this guy I met online for over month now but he won't commit?

We have been seeing each other for over a month but he wont say we r in a relationship. He has been great but when I sent him a FB relationship request he wouldn't cobfirm it. He said its 2 soon that we r still gettin to know each other. He is going to a wedding with me and I am meeting his family this week. So whats up with this? What should I Do?

Update: August 03, 2009.
By committ I mean we dont see other people and when I bring him in an event and introduce him to people I say "This is my boyfriend" rather then "This is the guy I am seeing and screwing but who won't let me call him my boyfriend". I dont mean anything really serious, just that he is willing to admit that he is seeing me and not see other people. I think his idea of what a relationship is and my idea at very different. What you are all describing is not what I am expecting.

- Asked by misfit2oo9, A Creative, Female, 26-28, Teaching

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He hasn't heard the starting bell yet and you are at the finish line...slow down or you will spook him!

- Response by oneirishwitch, A Married Girl, Female, 56-65, Artist / Musician / Writer

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You should show up to the wedding in a wedding dress. He'll get the picture. Trust me.

Hope this helps.

- Response by deliciosity, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Calgary

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I agree with him, 1 month is waaaaaaaaaay too early to commit. Be patient, give yourselves time.

- Response by daffodils2008, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Medical / Dental

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It is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay tooo soon. You are making yourself sound desperate. You don't really know each other well enough to commit. Give it time...like a year!!!!!!!!!!

- Response by barbb, An Alternative Girl, Female, Who Cares?, Other Profession

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Um...why do you have to DO anything? Just let things develop - or not. There's nothing you can do to pressure him that won't drive him away. Why the big rush to label the fact that you've been dating each other for a month?

- Response by justpassingthru, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Financial / Banking

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Commit? Commit to WHAT?

You've be dating for barely a month, and you want a commitment?

Sweetheart.. you don't even know each other.

Anyone that makes any kind of commitment sooner than at least 4-6 months of dating, is out of their mind.

That is WAY too soon to even think about that!

- Response by steve67, A Rebel, Male, Who Cares?

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I understand him, a month is a very short time. Just relax and take things as they come, why the need to label things. It sounds like you are doing well, its a lot more important that he takes you to see his family than what his status at FB says.

- Response by klaxometro, An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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You're dating! The rest comes with time. I would try to be more patient and remember the more you push the more apt you are to push him away.

- Response by kdtxchic30, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Who cares about telling all your "fiends" on facebook. Isn't it enough to know between you that you are in a relationship?

A month is not a very long time, at all. I've been seeing someone for over a year and half, and I am a frequent user of facebook -something I'm not proud off- but I honestly don't see the need to advertise it to the world, a little mystery goes a long way.

I know, he knows, our friends and our family know. That's enough for me.


- Response by An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35, Student

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It seems like he still wants to take things slow...just meet the family, have a good time, but don't look into it for more than it is. He may not want to be too serious with you

- Response by dragonswagg, A Hip Hop Girl, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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It sounds like he doesn't take online romance seriously... But on the other hand he wants you to meet his family and go to a wedding. My guess is that he really does take things slowly. Give it time; maybe another month or two before you bring it up again. If he still acts weird about it, tell him you're going to start seeing other people then. If that doesn't get him, then he probably isn't the one you should be hanging on for.

- Response by A Sweet Sarah, Female, 22-25, Food Service

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Just let things be. You want a committed relationship with this guy and you are sending him fb request. Think about what you are doing.

- Response by peanut1, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Administrative

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Taking it slow is good.

Too many men in my experience want to move too quickly, that's a huge warning sign that it won't last.

He's taking you to a wedding and you're meeting his family so he isn't trying "hide" you, that's all good!

Give it some time, don't worry about the status so much, a month is only 4 weeks, and just enjoy your time together and see where it goes.

- Response by sm913, A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, Financial / Banking

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Just take it slow~My BF and I have been together just a little over a month now, with seeing each other about 3 times a week and when we do its 8-12w hrs at a time.

We have talked and he brought up just being exclusive with each other and seeing where it goes. We just this past weekend were intimate for the first time...BUT we talked first to make sure we were on the same page.

If he is not ready for that exclusive relationship yet, be patient..Good things come to those who wait.

- Response by nodrama, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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You know what you should do? Talk to your guy. You know your relationship and the feelings taking place better than we do. He'll define what his idea of a relationship is and you yours and from there you know precisely where you stand. I think he just likes the idea of seeing and screwing more than being responsible for a lot of emotions or commitment. Good luck. Chin up. Smiles. :)

- Response by mortaune, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Student

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i am saying 1 month is nowhere even close to commitment of any kind!! what's the rush? slow way way down....honestly.

- Response by ntnse01, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Slow your roll!!! A little over a month is too soon to spring the relationship talk on a man. Let things happen naturally or else you will send him screaming off into the sunset if you push the issue.

- Response by cocoacurevelous, A Hip Hop Girl, Female, 46-55, Administrative

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He's too immature and he sounds unsure of his standing and probably distance dating through the net isn't helping his commitment issues. Both are not good for relationships. :|

Good luck!

- Response by authorgirl, A Married Girl, Female, 29-35, Student

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Obey him of course.

- Response by llafsroh, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Boston, Science / Engineering

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I agree with him.

- Response by chinaphone, A Career Woman, Female, 26-28, Guangdong, Who Cares?

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He probably thinks you're needy and desperate. Back off. You're scaring him away. Plus he just doesn't sound like he likes you that much. Stop making all the moves.

- Response by kasialace51, A Trendsetter, Female, 29-35

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Commit to what? You met online and have been dating a month. What? Do you want a ring or something? Chill out.

- Response by boggob, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Political / Government

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