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I'm so tired of being a nice guy! Do nice guys really finish last? :-(
Dating, Sex & Intimacy / 12:01 AM - Monday August 03, 2009

I'm so tired of being a nice guy! Do nice guys really finish last? :-(

Bad Boy....

- Asked by syncaset, A Creative, Male, 46-55, Dallas, Artist / Musician / Writer

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no nice guys dont finish last. it might seem so now but trust me after a certain age good guys are all the rave for women. They get sick and tired of their bad boy syndrome

- Response by candygirl2178, A Thinker, Female, 26-28

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The smart ones do (if you *wink nudge* get what I mean)


There's a difference between the stereotypical 'nice guy' (ie: wuss, supplication, butt kisser, doormat) and a Good Man.

Don't be a guy.
Be a Man!

- Response by steve67, A Rebel, Male, Who Cares?

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nah. if you're truly a nice guy, i mean, good man, good person, good humanbeing, who wouldn't love you?

- Response by laylayla, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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No nice guys don't really finish last!! I married the nicest guy I've ever met, and he finished first, he got me,lol!!

- Response by sexysue22, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Miami, Hospitality

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No, Nice guys are few and far between. I know a ton of women that would get swept off their feet by a 'nice guy' and feel like Cinderella without her step-sisters and lousy step-mother.
Don't give up!

- Response by bnotafraid, A Creative, Female, Who Cares?, Artist / Musician / Writer

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No no no. My boyfriend is a nice guy!

- Response by beantownchica34, A Hip Hop Girl, Female, 26-28, Teaching

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No, they don't(in my opinion anyway) She's out there......

- Response by tinydancersmom, A Hippie Chick, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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As Robert Glover says, Nice Guys just rot in middle management.

My first question on here was "What is a Nice Guy, and why do women hate him so much?"
The ladies wouldn't come clean, they'd say sh!t like, "Oh, we really LIKE Nice Guys, don't stop being one, you'll be perfect for SOMEONE ELSE."
Part of the trouble is, most women don't even know there's a difference between a guy-who-is-nice versus a trademark Nice Guy... hence, the different answers you're getting.
The online dating gurus and pickup artist programs ALL agree on what a Nice Guy is, and he is NOT what most women want to be with. That's why these programs are making so much money! He is fundamentally dishonest-- he hides his real self in order to avoid conflict, or to get and maintain approval. He lacks personal boundaries, he's the proverbial "doormat". He has loads of other issues, too.
The OPPOSITE of a Nice Guy isn't a Jerk/Outlaw Biker/Bad Boy, instead, he is an "Integrated Male, or what the ladies call a "REAL Man."
Search online for the "Nice Guy Syndrome", and also look up Glover's site "Nomoremrniceguy" dot com. NMMNG has a forum section, also. Get the book cheap at amazon, it'll change your life.
Another excellent forum is at Sosuave dot net.

- Response by chesterdad, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 66 or older, San Francisco

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Yep... they even try and tell you that if you're Nice... Then you're not a nice guy. As another poster mentioned, there is a syndrome named for being someone who cares about others before themselves.

You want to succeed in life and with women. Don't give a shit about anyone but yourself. Oh but then everyone will know you are a jerk and you lose right? No, "pretend" to give a shit, but don't. And in pretending, don't go out of your way for anyone. Thats all women want, the "illusion of a nice guy". They pick the bad boy for all his arrogance and power and aggression... and they hate him cause he doesn't care. Just pretend to care in 'words' but be an asshole in 'deeds' and the women will just flock to you and love you for it. And because you 'pretend' to care with your 'words', they believe you do, regardless of your actions. In fact, your 'jerky' actions will just make them love you more.

Women are by their very nature insane masochists. If you are actually good to them, they will treat you like dirt. If you treat them like dirt, they will love you for it.

- Response by An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Teaching

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i love nice guys....and i am single, does that mean nice women finish last? hey...where are you? lol ;) you will find the right one as soon as you stop looking.

- Response by ntnse01, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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It's not about being nice. Desperate guys finish last. That's for sure.

- Response by kasialace51, A Trendsetter, Female, 29-35

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My husband was a nice guy when I met him at age 24...and he's a nice guy at age 35. He's what I wanted then and he's what I want now. There is no perfect person out there for everyone. Yes, some women like asses...I don't know why, they just do...then they like to complain about how they're treated...go figure. But there are women out there who appreciate a good, honest, caring, compassionate, decent man. You just haven't found the right woman for you yet. Keep on :)

- Response by kaffroake, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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No, they don't finish last...nice guys are the stay true to who you are.

- Response by lasttrueromantic, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Teaching

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Based on the variations of definition of "nice guy" that men and women have...based on the male definition...yes, they do finish last. They very fact that your asking this question means that you most know that it's true.

That's because what is a "nice guy" to a man, is a desperate wimp to a woman.

What women consider a nice guy...most guys would consider an asshole/jerk. So most of the women that are saying "no, they don't finish last" don't understand that there is a vast difference in the degrees of what a nice guy is between men and women. Women come up with their own definition of many of the same english words.

When a women says he's a "nice guy"...she often means that he is nice 20-30% of the time and an asshole, insensitive jerk the other 70-80% of the time.. to men this is an "asshole or jerk" but to most women he's a "nice guy" because when he does something nice, in her mind it erases the other 70-80% of the time that he was an asshole.

That is why we all hear stories time and time again of women who stay with abusive assholes, whether they're abusive verbally or physically. Then when he breaks down and does something nice, like apologizes, buys her flowers or takes her out to dinner, she right away in her mind thinks "see...I was right, my 'intuition' was right...he IS a nice guy" Then she overlooks the other 70-80% of the time that he was nasty, loud, rude or physically abusive.

Women HATE wimpy men and they would rather be with a man that is too aggressive and masculine, even to the point of being an asshole then a TOO nice guy that treats them good, tells them he loves her a lot, does nice things for her, never hits her, abuses her or talks about leaving her.

Think of your father or most of the fathers of people you know... most of the times you'll find that they're kind of insensitive jerk, assholes themselves and these are who they're mothers chose to marry.

Women know that they're own minds are mostly out of control and they, like a wild animal on a leash, need to "real man" to keep them in check, keep them in their place. That is why they don't want a wimpy man, they want a man that is not afraid to get tough, to get violent if needed or even kill. This was illustrated well in the movie "Mystic River". After the Sean Penn character kills a guy, his pretty hot wife got soo turned on that she got naked and rode him right then and there. Sure she might have been a bit screwed up in the head herself, but it was because she got soo wet and turned on knowing that she was with a man that was so tough and unafraid that he could even kill someone and think nothing of it... if that's not a bad boy then what is.

Sure that's an extreme example and many women would probably leave a man if he killed someone, but secretly they would also be turned on by it many times. As I've been saying for years...nearly everything a woman does is motivated by her own DEEP bottomless pit of fears, worries and INCREDIBLE insecurities.

Women are insecure about the future (one major reason they LOVE astrology), insecure about money, food, housing, clothes, their bodies, their minds, their intellect, their asses, their boobs, their health...on and one the list goes.

So they look for a fearless man who is tough, is not afraid to fight for them, stand up for them verbally or physically, all to make THEM feel secure. Forget the fact that he might be an asshole or make public scenes being an asshole many times..she'll gladly put up with that to be with a man that makes her feel secure and that she knows is not afraid to get violent or even kill someone just to protect her.

This can go on for a long time, but hopefully your starting to see it a bit clearer.

- Response by richsifu, A Rebel, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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No they don't. A lot of girls may say they want a "bad boy" but deap down inside girls want a nice guy. A guy that wont screw them over.

- Response by jordanb20, A Creative, Female, 22-25

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I agree w/ foonlorn...nice w/ an edge. We don't want a guy so sensitive that we feel like we are with another woman but we don't want a raging caveman either. mwahahaha!

- Response by lyriclove22, A Hip Hop Girl, Female, 22-25, Student

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No, nice guys don't finish last.
I only date nice guys!

- Response by sleeksasy06, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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No, you're just out of the loop.

- Response by thundermist04167, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Who Cares?

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