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Active Questions

When a guy says he wants to take thing slow, what does he really mean?
Dating / 9:11 AM - Friday July 31, 2009

When a guy says he wants to take thing slow, what does he really mean?

- Asked by faithful4u, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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I always meant it as "you're scaring me, stop."

- Response by dreamguide66, An Intellectual Guy, Male, Who Cares?, Technical

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Community Rating: Community Star

I want your bod (and all else attached), just not right away. But if he already had that, then it means I ONLY want your bod and you can keep all that extra shit to yourself.

- Response by king313, A Rebel, Male, 29-35, Detroit, Technical

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taking it slow means you just wanna enjoy the relationship and the are not overly interested in commiting too quickly...or going deeper into things like engagement and marraige....just want to live the carefree life for awhile.

- Response by sirkermittsg, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Dallas, Transportation

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Hi faithful4u,

It could mean exactly that: That he doesnt want to rush into the expectations or demands of a serious relationship, but rather, that he would like for emotional attachment to root themselves at a slower pace. But, this is only one interpretation. To know what his true feelings are towards you, or partnership or intimacy, there is only one person who can give you a genuine answer: Him.


- Response by rougemarie, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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When I said that to a lady, and frankly now that I think about it, I've only said it to one. It was because I really liked her and wanted to 'do it right' and have had bad experiences with things moving too fast. When you do something too fast, you're prone to making damaging mistakes; incorrect snap judgements, etc. Like moving in together for instance, if you do it too fast, you may find things about the other person you just can't tolerate! Cause you're hit with all of their flaws all at once, and you are just overwhelmed by it. But if you had taken it slow, those things would have come out eventually BUT in smaller doses so that you are given time to learn how to deal with them. Now that I'm older... I always prefer to do things 'slow and clean' versus 'fast and messy'.

- Response by An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Teaching

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It means he is seeing someone else and you are taking too much of his time. Guys arent difficult to figure out, but they are generally, cowards when it comes to breaking it off with someone... plus, this statement leaves a true doormat open to be the "booty call" in the middle of the night if other things dont work out for him.

- Response by simplegirl123, A Hippie Chick, Female, 46-55, Teaching

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He doesn't want to rush into things, wait for the relationship to take it's course without forcing anything

- Response by dragonswagg, A Hip Hop Girl, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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He is committment-shy.

- Response by oneirishwitch, A Married Girl, Female, 56-65, Artist / Musician / Writer

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It could mean that he doesn't want you taking control of his life yet.

- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Construction

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he's not sure about you yet, and he's probably still getting over an ex..

- Response by gogobbles, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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Sorry,but it means he wants you when he wants you,and the rest of the time he wants you to understand that you do not own him!!!Typical non-commitment!

- Response by randolph, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 66 or older, Artist / Musician / Writer

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That's he's not ready to settle down with one person. He still has options. When he says this, don't make yourself too available to him. Start enjoying other things and weigh your options.

- Response by peanut1, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Administrative

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