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How old is too old to be living with your parents?
Jokes, Polls & Anything Else / 1:51 PM - Thursday July 30, 2009

How old is too old to be living with your parents?

Everyone seems to have a different take on this. My mom seems to be embarresed by me still living in her house at 22. Almost like she's ashamed. I just finished beauty school and I work about 20-30 hrs a week. What do you think?

- Asked by bts4life20, A Trendsetter, Female, 26-28, Self-Employed

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I think youre doing great. I don't know why mom, would feel shamed by it.

U have a good relationship w/ mom? do you pay board? i hope u stay at home until u get some time build up in a full time job.

Then get some reliable roomies to help share the expenses.. Congrats on completing your cosmetology school.I know a family who still have 4 at home..from 42 to 28 !! and they all have college degrees and jobs. You're still young and as long as you get along w/ mom..whats the hurry at 22 or 24?

- Response by dreamspinner, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Chicago

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Wow, that's a shame. I lived with my parents until I was almost 30. However, I did NOT sponge off them - I contributed financially & in other ways. I paid them rent, I pitched in with maintenance & repair bills, did more than my share of the chores, etc. My folks appreciated the help and the extra funds. My dad always said he was grateful that I chose to give HIM my rent money instead of some strange landlord.

My parents didn't try to tell me what to do, either, just because I lived with them. I came & went as I pleased, did not have to get their permission for anything & made my own decisions. The only rules they had were "no pre-marital sex and no drugs in our house" and I respected that while I lived there.

- Response by justpassingthru, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Financial / Banking

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Community Rating: Community Star

Young people want to move out as soon as possible and establish themselves as independent. The way things are today this isn't possible like it used to be.

Remind her that when she's old and unable to take care of herself that you will have to move back in to take care of her. And with a husband and child of your own you most likely won't be able to. Tell her to cherish the time she has with you. The bird will fly the nest soon enough.

- Response by dragonblade, A Rebel, Male, Who Cares?, Artist / Musician / Writer

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I say milk it while you can. Why put more expenses on you then you're ready for. Trust because I know first hand.

- Response by shadow21, A Hip Hop Guy, Male, 26-28, Self-Employed

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I think at 18 the kids should be on there own

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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I think 18 is the standard age. If you graduated and are working then why are you still at home?

- Response by llafsroh, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Boston, Science / Engineering

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I would LOVE to have my daughter who is your age living with me!!! She flew down to Fl. in March for a nine day visit and I waited on her hand and foot, I was so over the moon to have her with me. Talk to your mom about this, you may be wrong about her feelings.

- Response by englishrose4945, A Life of the Party, Female, 66 or older, Miami, Alternative Medicine

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My 21 year old son lives at my house. He works 30 hours a week.

I'm always at my sweetie's house.

I need my son at my house to take care of the cat, take out the trash, vacuum now and then --- he has a pretty sweet deal :-)

Works well for both of us.

I don't judge other people's living situations.

At my age, many of the guys in my age bracket live with their elderly parents to care for them.

- Response by utahmom, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Managerial

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actually, it depends on he situation. my daughter is 30 had three kids and divorced. no job, no car and just moved out and in with her boyfriend.(i dont like him) however, he is almost 40, no car
part time job, no responsibilities,and still lives at home withy momma.
now if he were taking care of momma, id say thats fine, he's doing what he should do, however if he's able to work, he should have his own place. however the only reason i didnt push my daughter on moving out was becuase she has three young kids.

in this day and time its hard for a lot of people to be able to make it on their own, with the economy the way it is)

- Response by tchris1645, A Cool Mom, Female, 56-65, Transportation

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I have lived on my own. I live with my mom now b/c she wanted to rent out a room and she'd rather rent it out to me than a stranger. I'm not paying rent now b/c I quit my job to have my daughter. My mother is allowing me to stay here rent free as long as I help around the house and go back to school so I can get a better job. She wants me to be successful and she knows the only way I can do that and take care of my daughter is to go back to school. She also understands that it's important for me to spend time with my child that's why she's not making me get a job while I'm in school. It's a shame your mother feels that way,especially when you work and go to school. It's not like you're being lazy,lounging around the house all day accomplishing nothing. That I would be ashamed of but you're doing something to better your life. That's nothing to be ashamed of.

- Response by misskitty420, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35, Student

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If I were your mother, I'd be delighted to have a nice daughter home with me. Perhaps she's looking for privacy, perhaps dating and enjoy being alone and on her own.

- Response by pushkins, A Thinker, Female, 66 or older, Miami, Who Cares?

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I've known people older than you still home with mom. I'm quite sure that once you get ready, you will find your own place and move out.

- Response by peanut1, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Administrative

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I think you have plenty of time to be on your own. Save money for a few years and stay there if you can. Offer to do more chores or buy groceries. It's expensive out here.

- Response by carrie1anne1, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Maybe you should pay mom some rent, a portion of the utilites, and some food.

- Response by boggob, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Political / Government

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I am heartbroken that my 24 year old daughter is not living at home anymore.

- Response by kypevans, A Career Woman, Female, 56-65, Medical / Dental

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In a traditional society one would expect daughters to be married and "given away" to the husband's family during the middle teen years. When I was younger I dated a woman who was "the old maid" of her community, she was 20.

Even my step daughter got a job and got her own apartment at age 15.

At age 22, I can see why your mother is wondering what she did wrong.

- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Construction

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A parent's job is to raise their child with the confidence to go out in the world ..I don't think 22 is too old if you are upgrading your skills or going to school. If you were living at home not getting an education or trade skills then your mother has a right to be shamed or embarassed. Just get busy and find a full time job and a place. If this is how she feels ..it is her home. Rosey

- Response by roseytalks, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Tampa, Who Cares?

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depends on how well everyone gets along...

- Response by osieboo, A Thinker, Female, 56-65

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Sounds like your mom has a personal problem. I'm 22 as well and in college and my folks have never thought it ok to force me out of the house. Most especially since they know that our area has barely any jobs and as they are older they are depending on my support more than the other way around anyway. Not to say I wouldn't plan on moving out when I can cut down on some of my loan debt. But I still don't think it is right for a parent to rush their kids out of the house like that. I mean true enough kids need to learn independence and all that. But why have them to kick them out like that? Just doesn't seem right to me.

- Response by CursedRomantic, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Columbus, Student

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I see know problem with it.It is hard to be on your own at first, this day and age.My children are 23 and 25 and still live at home.They want to make sure they can support them- selves before they go through the hassel of finding a place.Your mother should not be ashamed that you live at home.A least she has some one around to help her out if needed. :)

- Response by roanna, A Hippie Chick, Female, 56-65, Self-Employed

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Its a different world than it used to be. Once upon a time a couple could buy a house on one income. Where I live in Southern California, you're lucky to rent a one room apartment in a safe area with two people contributing. There are no hard and fast rules. My great uncles lived in my great-grandmother's home until they got married, all in their early thirties.

I lived with my mom until my early thirties, moved out and then moved back in again because I went back to school for a career change. She offered and it works out for both of us. Financially it helps and its nice to have company around. I don't bring dates home, but that's another story.

22 is still very young. Your mother should be happy to have you around. I don't think she realizes she would miss you if you moved out. Especially if you went far away.



- Response by A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Los Angeles

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Between the ages of 20 to 30 there were times when I lived away and times I returned for short spells, sometimes a year or more. I left when it became more inconvenient to be at home than it did away from home. One of the other reasons thou was that was that I really needed my own space and to grow up a bit more.........

.

- Response by spadeace, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Who Cares?

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I think 25 - 30 is drawing the line. I've lived on my own since I was 18 but have since moved back in with my mom (i'm going to be 22 in 2 wks). I'm in school so I'm doing something, but my 19 yr old brother also lives at home as well. Every parent is different. I don't see anything wrong with your situation. You're still young! Don't rush to move out, do it right. Save up money and get all the things you want/need first. It will make things lots easier!

- Response by italianmami1107, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Who Cares?

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As long as you are trying your best, where's the shame in that?

- Response by seductivepisces9, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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I think it really depends on the situation. As a parent myself, I would be okay with my child living with me as long as that my child is working towards being able to stand on her own two feet (going to school, trying to find a job, etc) and if she is making her own money she contribute around the house. That and as long as she's being a responsible adult and not disruptive (a contributing member of the household who respects everyone in the house).

In the end, its not so much 'where she lives' as it is 'how she's living' that would matter the most. If I had a 19 year old at home, who wouldn't go to college, wouldn't look for real work, didn't want to respect house rules, etc... I'd tell the "move out". But if they're going to school and need the help, or working and trying but just not making enough, or even just makes the choice "Id rather stay with you" and could be a good 'roommate', then I'd let them stay as long as they wanted I guess. As long as it was a choice made not out of fear of being on their own.



- Response by An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Teaching

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You're definitely NOT too old to be living at home. As long as your not some bum who isn't doing anything or contributing to the household, I don't see why your Mom wouldn't like the idea of you staying with her. Maybe you should just talk to her and see what she has to say. Maybe ashamed is not what she's feeling and there's something else going on with her. Just talk to her...

- Response by caramelcutie12, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Toronto, Administrative

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Technically I don't think there is a "too old" age to be living with your parents. Sometimes people just have a harder time getting out on their own, and at least if you help your parents out with some bills or give them some money for rent. It should be fine. I lived with my mom since I was 22, then moved back in at age 24, then moved back out. My mom loves it when I live at home with her. Shes always wanting me to come home or spend the night. You mom should be grateful that you're not trying to run off or move away from her. Good luck, and maybe try talking to your mom about how this makes you feel!

- Response by elf713, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35, Student

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I think when your ready to move out would be ideal. I knew someone who was still living with there parents till she was 35yrs old.. thats crazy. but im only 20yrs old and im try to make my parents leave but they want me to stay.. Hey if your going to school and working i dont kno why your momo would be ashmed that your still living at home. Congratulations on finishing school..

- Response by pooh89bear, A Career Woman, Female, 22-25, Baltimore, Retail

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Well I'm 24 and I'm still here but there's a story for that. I'm going back to college and I hope that I can move in with this guy I've met. Only in a rich corner of the world could there be any embarrassment about living at home aged 22, when you live somewhere where houses are ridiculously overpriced then you just put up with it or use your hard earned money to rent.

- Response by anything08, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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I'm almost 22, just graduated college last May and I'm still living at home because I haven't found a job yet. If I had a job, I would almost definitely be outta here! My parents aren't embarrassed by me living here or anything, but I'm sure that they would rather me be out on my own, and so would I. Maybe this is different from your situation because I have been living on my own halfway across the country for the past 4yrs and just recently came back home, it's not like I've been living at home the whole time (ahhh I would probably have killed myself by now!).

I think the answer to this question is definitely affected by the current economy and lack of available jobs for recent I know A LOT of recent graduates with great credentials and lots of potential and ambition. They want to get out on their own but just don't have that option right now because they can't find jobs or because they are trying to be practical and save up the very small salary they make at their entry level job.

- Response by girly4556, A Hippie Chick, Female, 26-28, New York, Who Cares?

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I think it depends on your situation. It's not a big deal if you are still there if everyone is helping each other out. That's what FAMILY is for. They are there to help you build a foundation. As long as you are learning and growing and not taking advantage everything is cool...as long as you don't turn into something like "Failure to Launch" or "Step Brothers." LOL!

- Response by lyriclove22, A Hip Hop Girl, Female, 22-25, Student

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i'm an only child, in my mid-20's and i still live with my parents. why? practicality.

i do have a full-time job, 15 minutes' drive away from the house. why move out when i can manage the distance?

if i move out, i get to drive by the house everytime i go to work, which is extremely silly, right? so why spend a whole lot, moving out, furnishing a place, cooking my own food, doing my laundry when we have help doing exactly that at home?

my parents don't meddle at my life anymore. as long as i'm fine and i'm not doing drugs or bringing home guys for sleepovers (you know what i mean), they don't put a leash on me.

but don't leech. contribute on a regular basis to help with the expenses, as much as possible. aside from that, there shouldn't be any problem.

in my opinion, living with your parents is perfectly fine. why is your mom ashamed, anyway? well, she shouldn't be.

- Response by vanilla77, A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, New York, Administrative

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18, you should be living on your own by then

- Response by akinaa, A Hippie Chick, Female, 22-25

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Back in my parents youth, they were out the door at 18, either to school or work, whether they were ready or not. These days it seems that the kids are living at home later and later. I know people in their 30's and 40's still living with Mommy and Daddy. It is the dumbing down of society. While book smarts are improving, common sense and real world living/survival are going out the window.

There comes a point when it is time to leave the nest, fly or fall, sink or swim.

As for how old is too old? Personally I think once you have graduated High School it is time to move out, whether to post-secondary or work. It is time to leave.

- Response by A Creative, Male, 29-35

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