Back to Home

Active Questions

Disappointed - how do you cope with people who let you down
Dating / 9:23 PM - Saturday July 25, 2009

Disappointed - how do you cope with people who let you down

I am really disappointed. I have had some people I really trusted in my life let me down hard. How do others deal with this. Lately I have had an overwhelming sense of sadness because one was my husband-who put me in a really bad spot and took all our money and the other was someone who I thought I could trust who just used me. How do I make sense of this? I had to start my life all over in my 40s because of my husband and it is a real hardship. The other person really let me down hard too.

- Asked by Female, 36-45

Read more about the Rating System


This is a hard one. I'm happy for you you've picked yourself halfway up. You have to get up all the way...you are woman. It's in your DNA, if not, it kills you VERY slowly. Went through that, too, and had three kids under 12 at the time.

- Response by rholuc, A Thinker, Female, 66 or older, Retired

Rating Received:


This may sound odd, but...don't take it "personally". Realize that whatever drama was going on in these people's minds is what drove them to make their choices, good or bad.

I know that yes, ideally your husband would NOT just jump ship like that, ruining finances that were supposed to be a part of your marriage----probably, in a sense, he ceased to be your husband prior to him making that choice. Something far beyond your influence or control---so that's why I say, don't take it personally.

- Response by ocelotspot, A Hip Hop Girl, Female, Who Cares?, Other Profession

Rating Received:


I would say that a person is pretty damn lucky if they made it through life without ANYBODY letting them down hard. It's just a part of life. It sucks, though. But the only comfort I've ever gotten from my own experiences with these kind of "toxic/apathetic" people and how they've let me down is the knowledge that:

I'm much stronger and much wiser.

And I've built up a "don't f*ck with me" attitude when it come to people like that...and that works for me. :)

- Response by trueseeker82, A Creative, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


sometimes i wonder how these people can sleep at night...

- Response by osieboo, A Thinker, Female, 56-65

Rating Received:


Consider it a self-teaching experience. What you're getting is a test, and how you respond is what's important, not right versus wrong.
You have to cut them out, but a lot of the times, you can't eliminate them completely. The main thing is to get over YOURSELF, and carry on with what you were doing. That's all that most other people want to see you do.
I felt disappointed-- insulted, even, by the woman who has done more for my work than just about anyone else. I was going to quit working for her and everyone else at her location-- which would have been a chunk of money for me. I'm still there, but I don't work for her, and she still disappoints me... today was the most recent. I don't let her get to me.

- Response by chesterdad, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, San Francisco

Rating Received:


The leading cause of disallusionment and disappointment is expectations....especia lly expecting others to fulfill your hopes, dreams and wants. It's bad medicine. When you start to realize that you are responsible for your own content in each and every moment and that this has nothing to do with trust you change the face of the world you live in. I might go to bed hearing the breeze and smelling the night air and feeling the smoothness of the sheets and drift off to thoughts of creating a magical garden....it makes me wake feeling happy and then I appreciate the sound of the birds and the way my mouth feels after brushing my teeth. These are mindful observations in the moment. I don't take on the actions of others as statements of how I need to feel in the world. You can insist that life is hard. I choose to think that life is like a game of cards and I get to play a different hand throughout my day. It's all about how I play the hands I've been dealt in each moment. There's nothing particularly easy or hard about it....it's about focusing on what's effective and what's skillful means. Stop focusing on others and focus on creating. Creating is exciting.

- Response by joybird, A Hip Hop Girl, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


I think you will see a lot different now, it's part of life's tapestry to experience all sorts of situations, I can make you inward and non engaging with others because of trust, but in time you will start to develop new frienships with other people, it's a cruel world today, but if you deep within your self done no harm to others, you mind is free of ill thoughts, those that take or look at ways to exploit are not happy within themselves and are actually not the types to hang around with.

- Response by ricardojazz, A Creative, Male, 46-55, Self-Employed

Rating Received: