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I am tired of waiting for things to get better
Dating / 12:28 AM - Friday July 24, 2009

I am tired of waiting for things to get better

Sure, I have LOTS to be grateful for and I AM. But I have always hoped to end up in a close, connected, loving relationship. The man I love has strung me along for years. I am sick of ALWAYS missing him while he keeps me at arm's length.

I have tried to leave and date others but they are just not HIM. And I can't find anyone else that I feel that comfortable, connected and close to.

Just about everyone else I know has got their happy ending in some way or another (whether love, career, friends whatever "happy ending" is for them).

Whereas, I am still living alone, missing a man who only wants to see me every few months (it used to be once a week, now he has moved away so it is much less). Still in the same situation as I was years ago.

I tried being single for a few months, but the dating scene got me down.

I have realised that HE is never going to want anything closer or more committed than that.

I have come to terms with the thought that I may never have the close loving relationship I would like. And I know now I can live with that and be happy.

But a part of me is sad that my dreams will never come true. My dad says "it could still happen", "I could still meet someone", yeah sure, but it may not be until I am 90, if at all.

This isn't really a question, more of a rant, sorry. I guess I just need some positive inspiration. Feeling pretty down about things at the moment.

- Asked by sunset77, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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They say, and I believe this is true, that the minute you stop looking or stop caring about finding true love...that's the minute it will come your way. BOY this is true!

Happened once with my first fiance, I had a son, and decided to stop dating and concentrate on me and my son. A few months later came prince charming and we got engaged, my friend set me up with him and I was not even willing to go on a date, but it was all history at first sight. (unfortunately he passed)

So once again, I had decided to never love again and live out the rest of my days alone, with my son to raise and to be content with just being me.

Then, along came my present-day husband, I met him at work, and again, a friend set us up together, me unwilling to date. He helped me while I was grieving over another man and gave me strength to reach acceptence, and he has been by my side since.

So, take a break from thinking about it so much, then see if it happens for you, what can it hurt to just concentrate on YOU and YOUR happiness without a man...for a change?

This guy stringing you along is no good for you. Deep down, you know it's true.

- Response by trueseeker82, A Creative, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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You may have to move on and accept that what you want and what he wants are two different things.

Love knows no age. I would much rather meet the best man for me and be together 5 wonderful years, than to suffer with someone who left me hanging or wondering how he felt for 20.

It's not about the number of years you are together or how young you find someone and marry, it is about quality of relationship and being on the same level playing field: knowing each other without so many "wonders" in the back of your mind.....

You are basing your spirit of love on this one man. He is ONE MAN. Who obviously does not want to appreciate you right now.

You should not be comparing anyone to him, because right now he does not see you enough to keep a stable relationship going. You need someone close to you who can share and give what you both need to find a loving, lasting relationship.

Be daring!! Seek out someone you would not consider "your type," and see what happens.....what may be a Prince could be hiding under the guise of a toad.



- Response by iowaczechartist, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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If you think you need a man to be happy, you will never be happy.

Every one feels like there is something missing in their lives sometimes. Even the ones that pretend they are "happy" sometimes question it, so don't let them fool you. Just because they keep it to themselves, doesn't mean it's not on their mind. People are ALWAYS bound to think the grass is greener on the other side, even if they don't show it.

You need to look at your life and decide what makes you happy and what doesn't. And you also need to come to the conclusion that you CAN be happy without a man in tow. Because no matter who's by your side, he is bound to make you unhappy sometimes, and if that's ALL you've got going for yourself, those moments will make you miserable.

Once you are able to be and feel happy about yourself and your life, other things will seem to fall into place, including guys.

I remember feeling pressured by everyone around me to date after a long-term relationship ended. I dwelled on it. I acted desperate. No one asked me out. One day, I decided "why am I torturing myself?? I don't need a guy. I'm good enough as is." I started concentrating on work, working out for health's sake (not to lose weight, but to get fresh air and feel good), hanging out with friends, and school work (I was going to college part time at night). I started feeling content that I could do all that, without a guy in tow. Eventually, I realized that, because I felt good about myself, others wanted to talk to me. Including guys. People want to be around positive people. I remember once I was in sweat pants, and being stopped and told I looked good by a guy. I gave him a weird look, like he was crazy. But I realized it wasn't what I was wearing that intrigued him, it was my positive attitude, the smile on my face, and my self-confidence that shone through. Eventually, I got several dates in the next month, none that panned out, but that's okay. About a year later, I started dating my now-husband.

Can I say it's happily ever after? No, nothing is guaranteed, and there are things aobut him that still annoy me, but I learn to accept them. There are days I wonder why I married him, other days where I remember why. And at least I know that, if we don't make it, it's not the end of the world. Because being in a relationship because you think that breaking up is the end of the world is ALOT WORST than not being in a relationship at all.

So, chin up, re-evealuate your life, and what you want (not who you want). And you'll feel better about yourself.

- Response by misst8, A Married Girl, Female, 36-45, Self-Employed

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I learned to be my own best friend always entertaining myself and always interesting to myself. Funny thing, I stopped feeling alone, even though I was. I didn't date after my divorce for 9 years. Along the way I fell in love with myself, and then I fell in love with the guy I always wanted in my life. I was 45. It can happen... Really...

- Response by siouxzen, A Creative, Female, Who Cares?, Los Angeles, Self-Employed

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Man, we could be best friends and cry in each others arms. I feel that way too alot. I don't miss my ex that much but I wonder why he didn't love me as much as I loved him. Everyone else noticed me but him. I was always trying to impress him with the things I did or get some type of compliment from him. I'm attractive, I hear and sometimes believe but I'm lonely too. Dated a few times, nothing....no sparks, nothing. Maybe I'll just never fall in love again. But I would like to find someone who loves me and can't live without me, who'll adore me and pamper me....my advice to you. just enjoy yourself, date, go to fun places, do things you like and stop looking, it'll happen when you least expect it.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Medical / Dental

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Go everywhere, meet every one do everything and NEVER refuse an invitation, There is a man in the same situation as yourself find him,
And all the luck in the world

- Response by duggers, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older

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Go everywhere, meet every one do everything and NEVER refuse an invitation, There is a man in the same situation as yourself find him,
And all the luck in the world

- Response by duggers, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older

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