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How do you bring up becoming "official" in a relationship?
Dating / 1:54 PM - Thursday July 16, 2009

How do you bring up becoming "official" in a relationship?

I've been seeing this guy for about three weeks now, and I really like him. We spend a lot of time together, at his house, making dinner, and going out. I've stayed over there a couple nights (no sex), and we talk on the phone daily for about an hour.

As far as I know, we're not official, but we are exclusive. So here's my question: how do I bring up the idea of being "official" as boyfriend/girlfriend? Any suggestions?

- Asked by italianbella87, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 26-28, Minneapolis, Student

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I once chattily told an ex about how a mutual friend had been asking me what was going on between us - we were seeing each other - and said that I didn't really know what to say, I then casually asked him 'what is going on between us?' trying not to seem like I was putting too much pressure on him, being as casual as I physically could be!! Couple of minutes later he asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend.
Don't know if this helps?

- Response by lovetotalk, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 22-25, Student

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After about 6 months of being just with my wife, she came up to me one day and said that last night was the last night either of us would ever be with someone else unless I never wanted to see her again. When I said what she said that she was making us officially exclusive.


You mean we weren't?


- Response by A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 36-45, Self-Employed

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YOU dont HE does, let him bring that up, that way when he does you will know that he is ready for it, and you wont have to worry about him flaking out because your getting seerious berfore he is ready...FYI I do think you need to slow down and be more patient and be sure to get to truly know him first its only been 3 weeks, research your "prey" better thats a short span of time to be ready to be with someone, and I wouldn't be spending the night at a man house if he has yet to call me his g/f, I am not a pillow.
Much luck.

- Response by misssparkle, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Atlanta, Administrative

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"suggestions? "

YES.... You dont rush it or push it at this early stage. Theres a good chance he will distance himself if you do. Guys aren't like women in the respect that they dont have the intense desire to "label" the relationship. Let it go for now. Maybe in another month or 2, if he hasn't said something, then you can telk about it openly and have the time frame to back you up.
As long as you 2 are already exclusive anyway, whats the rush?




- Response by singledad281, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Houston, Hospitality

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Would you label a friend a "best friend" after only knowing them for three weeks?

Why would you ever want to rush into a relationship with someone after only knowing them for that short period of time. Three weeks is 21 days.

Relationships cannot be rushed, ANY relationship. Problems develop when you try to unilaterally sort people and put them into boxes. Doing that prematurely makes it even worse.

You both need to take it easy here, and wait at least six months before any public labels get attached to what you mean to each other, preferably longer.

- Response by skaskiknee, A Trendsetter, Female, 66 or older, Who Cares?

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it seems you guys are good friends so suggest it to him and see what his idea is about, you guys are in it together so be together many may suggest seduction but that may turn him off

- Response by cherrycream21, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 22-25, Student

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