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How do you deal with a moody boyfriend?
Dating / 5:42 PM - Wednesday July 15, 2009

How do you deal with a moody boyfriend?

Lately my live-in boyfriend has been having some job/financial concerns. I'm trying to be sensitive to his needs, but nothing I do seems good enough. The other day I told him I'm here for support, and gave him a hug and said that everything would be ok. I just wanted him to know I was there for him because normally he's very sweet and always has been there for me. I even helped him find jobs online, but every time I made a suggestion he just sarcastically laughed at me and said the job was a scam or crap. So I don't know what I'm supposed to do. He gets mad over the tiniest little things. He bitches about the house being clean,dishes,etc - just petty stuff, when I know that's not the real reason for his attitude. I'm trying to be there, but honestly - with no disrespect - I feel like I'm dating a woman!! What am I supposed to do to show him I care? I don't know what he wants me to do!

Update: July 15, 2009.
Just an update: He IS working, but his pay has been cut, and he is struggling. I'm not paying for anything of his - just my part of the bills, which I think is fair.

- Asked by Female, 29-35

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His pride is hurting, sweetie. And while he shouldn't be directing it toward you, his feelings of inadequacy are influencing his behavior.

I've walked that road, I know what it feels like. In moments of clarity he will recognize how he's been acting an apologize, but there will likely be a few more incidents until he gets back to where he feels like he's accomplishing what he's capable of.

- Response by vabyss, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Who Cares?

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I think he knows his situation and what he needs to do. He probably has tried many of the things you're suggesting. I believe a woman can be just as supportive and loving with her mouth shut as she can with it open all of the time. If he's in a mood and you understand that his sarcasm and funky attitude is a result of his own stress and mind working on him. Just leave him be. If he wants to talk about it or want suggestions. He knows how to come to you and talk. He knows how to ask. There was nothing wrong with your attempting to help. But, once you understand what's going on and that this isn't something he wants. Just let it go. Do what you normally do.

Because, unfortunately, no matter how much someone cares about you or loves you. Misery never gets tired of company. When you begin to move on and just take care of yourself. He'll begin to wonder why you're not being affected by his moods and attempts to start arguments. I would not give him any excuse for bitching. A dirty house and dishes could tick me off too. However, if they are just as much his as yours. You really know that he's just nitpicking. So, don't allow him to know that he's bothering you. Pretty soon, he'll come around and start trying to handle what's going on with some maturity. If things get worse. I'd simply stop being around him. I don't allow other people to make me miserable. Life is hard enough. I'll be damned if I will allow someone else's miserable ass to tear down every bit of progress that I've made maintaining some form of peace throughout my own daily challenges. Good luck.

- Response by thelovedovefor1, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Who Cares?

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His concerns are valid, and unless you are able to provide him with a better job or financial security, all of the 'support' you give him will not change his situation.
All you can do is get a copy of his resume, or make one for him yourself, and apply for jobs similar to what he has/had ... all the while NOT telling him what you are doing.
Hopefully, he will get an interview, etc., and then, he will be appreciative of your supportive efforts.
But right now, he feels like your 'support' is not going to make a difference in his life, and he is really frustrated.

- Response by andrewj5267, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Miami, Teaching

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There's a lot to this story we aren't getting...

*...Who's place IS IT?
*...How old is HE?
*...How long have you two been together?
*...Are You working?
*...What does he DO for work?

- Response by geester, A Creative, Male, 56-65, Celebrity

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Move on!!!

- Response by barbb, An Alternative Girl, Female, Who Cares?, Other Profession

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So you're working and he's not? You're paying all the bills and he's not?

I can see why he's got an attitude.

Guys don't like it when they have to depend on a lady.

I would back off helping him look for work. He doesn't appreciate it and to him -- it makes him think you don't think he's capable of finding a new job on his own.

Don't allow him to be bitchy and disrespectful to you. Call him on it and tell him you do not appreciate being treated that way. He's actually probably trying to pick fights with you so you will kick him out and then he won't be sponging off of you any longer. The nicer you treat him -- the worse he treats you, right?

- Response by utahmom, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Managerial

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