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Can I ask if he is sleeping with anyone else?
Dating / 1:41 PM - Sunday July 12, 2009

Can I ask if he is sleeping with anyone else?

So I want to thank the people who responded to my last question, because it really made me think that this is DEFINITELY not the right time for relationship talk, so that will wait awhile.
What I am wondering, however, is if it's ok for me to ask if he is sleeping with anyone else besides me. I don't sleep around, and I don't really agree with that kind of behavior. I sleep with one person, and one person only, whether I'm in a committed relationship or if it's just casual. Is it alright to ask him what he's doing?

- Asked by A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Student

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i like to be blunt, too.

sure, you COULD ask, but he may lie...

- Response by isotope, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Science / Engineering

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When you are starting to go out with someone, there should be no problem at all in asking them who all they are dating. Why should that be a secret? If they want to go out with several at the same time, no prob, as long as you know and agree. How many they are having sex with you absolutely need to find out before you drop your knickers.

- Response by stoney07, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 66 or older, Who Cares?

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You can ask any question you feel is important to you. That doesn't mean they'll answer or tell the truth. I understand that there are fwb's type relationships that are exclusive fwb's. I think it's important to know whether someone you're having sex with is having it with others. It doesn't suggest that you think it's your right to know or that you don't understand what casual relationships are. You just want to know. I told the guy that I was seeing and not committed to that I would let him know if I start seeing others.

I didn't feel that I needed to tell him about whether or not I was intimate with anyone else. Because, I told him when that time comes that my feelings have developed for someone to the point that I'm willing to have sex with them. I would have let him know that I was moving on, well before that time. I too, believe in sex with one person. I don't care how casual or fwb's it is. If a man can't deal with that, he can move on. But, I think there are less misunderstandings and confusion when two adults communicate what they desire in a relationship. So, I think it's perfectly fine. He doesn't have to agree to it. And, you don't have to agree to keep seeing him either.

- Response by thelovedovefor1, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Who Cares?

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I consider it a matter of prerogative if I'm planning to sleep with a man. You need to know how many others you're dealing with and to be assured he's being safe and responsible about it. Now days you can't just assume, you have to be proactive.

- Response by lioness21, A Player, Female, 29-35, Consulting

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