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I'm married but separated but not legally separated. is going to church with another guy cheating?
Dating / 2:02 AM - Sunday July 12, 2009

i'm married but separated but not legally separated. is going to church with another guy cheating?

this new guy i've kind of already started seeing is wanting to take me 2 church tomorrow. i'm really excited. its a little bit different lifestyle than i've been used to living. my husband and i are not living together and havent been living together for the past week. he lives with his dad and i live with my parents. he wont go 2 drug rehab, i want a divorce but i cant afford one right now nor can i afford to separate legally. all that takes some kind of money. my husband and i have 2 kids also so there will be a custody battle. i'm not going down without a fight there. but me and this other guy really want to be together and i really want to go to church with him tomorrow but i dont know what to do. i told him i better not since i'm still legally married. what should i do. i know me and my husband arent getting back together.

- Asked by lilmisscheery, A Married Girl, Female, 29-35, San Antonio, Who Cares?

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GO TO CHURCH WITH THE MAN.......and start rebuilding your life.

LET THE DRUGGIE GO !!!

- Response by nuttyprofessor, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older, Transportation

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I think God will be happy you are going to church.....ask him to help you with your situation. and when you ask, really expect an answer that you need.

- Response by kmf1, A Life of the Party, Female, 46-55, Minneapolis, Who Cares?

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from a legal standpoint you may need to be careful with how far you explore this relationship with this guy until you are officially "legally" separated. But, church never hurt anyone. In fact I highly recommend church. Being separated for only a week seems to be odd since it seems you already are looking elsewhere. So I would never say don't go to church, just keep your space with this guy at church and don't appear too "friendly" with him until you other relationship is over.

Maybe you'll find some peace and some answers through God....

- Response by patriotblue, A Father Figure, Male, 36-45, Technical

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Are you asking us for absolution from your sins? We can't provide that.

But ask yourself this, would God want you to be happy in your life?

- Response by beelzebub, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Who Cares?

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You are a married woman, if you want real love this time, be patient and wait for it! It will be all the more precious when you do!

- Response by lacey07, A Life of the Party, Female, Who Cares?, Other Profession

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If u and ur husband are agreed that you are separated then your not cheating. if you mean does god count it as cheating, he doesnt even recognized divorce he only recognizes marriage and anullment. butno its not cheating. divorce i hear isnt cheap ur not doing anything wrong and should never let somethin like that stop u from going to church.

- Response by callmeb3, An Alternative Girl, Female, 22-25

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Things are pretty complicated right now. I would really advise not getting involved with anyone until you sort things out with your husband. Your main concern should be your children and not getting their lives all muddled up. Give yourself some time to sort thru things and see where that takes you. If Mr Church is meant to be in your life, things will work out in that direction.

- Response by marilyncorn23, Female, 56-65, Edmonton

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I think you can attend church as friends. But even though you two really like each other, it is best to not getting too lovey dovey too quickly. I also think you need to make sure you talk to your hubby (ex or otherwise) about what is really ok while being separated and get it in writing in case he says he never agreed to it in court. Cause until things are legalized there is just too fine a line between infidelity and other matters that you don't need to be getting into.

- Response by CursedRomantic, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Columbus, Student

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Since you brought up church, I assume you believe in the Word of God??? The Bible tells us there are so very few reasons that divorce is allowed. If you divorce for any reason other than what the Bible allows, and you marry another, you are considered an adulteress. This is not just my opinion, this is the Word of God.
God allows divorce for infidelity and being unequally yoked (one of you is Christian and the other is not and it is causing strife in the marriage).
I hope you pursue going to church, but do it with your children and get some marriage counseling. "For better or worse, in sickness and health, forsaking all others 'til death do us part"

- Response by mistyjean, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Self-Employed

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unless you decide to have sex it is not cheating

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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I would not call it cheating, but don't make your relationship with your friend any more involved than it is. You're still recovering from a really horrific relationship, and very, very vulnerable.

Please talk to Legal Aid and see if they can help you get a divorce or at least a legal separation. Google "Legal Aid" for your area. Also, if there's a local law school in your area you may be able to get low-cost or free legal services. I don't know what's available in your area; you will have to ask.

- Response by myrtletyrtle, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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it wont look good especially if you are fu^^ing him to be in a church while your kids are wondering whats up

people talk and the judge will know when the time comes for the custody battle. cant you get a job at a taco stand and hire a lawyer and get that issue handled?

shwing up with the boyfriend at church when you are still married will raise eyebrows- especially in your town

- Response by A Career Man, Male, 46-55, New York, Who Cares?

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It depends on what you do in church. If you pray and listen to the sermons, then no it is not cheating. If you pray with your ankles behind your ears, then this would likely be considered cheating. Since you want a divorce anyway, does it really matter?

- Response by sphincterboy, A Trendsetter, Male, 66 or older, Dhaka, Celebrity

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A cousin of mine got married in church 2yrs after breaking up wth her then enstranged husband although she was still legally married to him.I don't see any problem as long as YOU are happy by the way it's YOUR life and YOU DESERVE HAPPINESS.Good luck!

- Response by mariaamfield33, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35, Dublin, Other Profession

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You've only been away from your husband for a week and you are already seeing someone else??????????????? /Why would you think going to church would be cheating when you have already admitted to "Kind seeing him"????? Do you think kind of seeing him isn't cheating????And in a week you and this other guy know you want to be together????Grow up Lady. You have kids to think about not some new man after only a week away from your husband. I think you have been seeing this other guy a lot longer than a week.

- Response by barbb, An Alternative Girl, Female, Who Cares?, Other Profession

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You've been separated for *a week* and you're seeing another guy already? I think the cheating has already happened here - going to church isn't going to make it any better or worse either way.

- Response by justpassingthru, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Financial / Banking

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