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Is it considered cheating or not?
Married Life / 10:54 PM - Saturday July 11, 2009

is it considered cheating or not?

if my husband left a week ago and now i'm dating someone else is it considered cheating? i'm living at my parents with my kids and he's living at the lake with his dad. there's a possibility we will get back together if he goes to rehab like i told him to but i doubt he'll do it. he keeps making up excuses. he just doesnt want to go. so therefore i doubt we'll get back together, but am i cheating or not? if someone sees me with him in town and tells my husband can he turn me in for infedelity or is it legal because we are not living together right now? input please. i'd like to keep seeing my new guy and go out in public with him but not if it means losing my kids for being a cheater.

- Asked by lilmisscheery, A Married Girl, Female, 36-45, San Antonio, Who Cares?

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Legally, until a court gives you separation papers or divorce papers, you are still legally married, regardless of if you live together or have a working relationship.

Emotionally, if you have already thrown in the towel and cannot survive without the attentio n of a man in your life every day, you are already moving on......and I think if you want to make this work, you should not be thinking about alternatives to your CURRENT marriage.

And yes, he can ask for custody of your kids if you are committing adultery. it happened to one of my friends, and her husband got the kids and SHE had to pay child support....even if he is in a rehab program, his family can get temp custody until he completes the program.

Be careful, is all I can say.

- Response by iowaczechartist, A Thinker, Female, 46-55

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Way to take time to evaluate your life and heal before jumping into another relationship. I'm sure this one has a real shot at making it.

Did focusing on your kids and yourself ever cross your mind as an option?

- Response by vabyss, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Who Cares?

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You didn't waste anytime did you? Since you doubt you are going to get back together, the first date you should have made was with a lawyer. A lawyer can advice you what's legal in your state. If someone sees you out with your new guy and tells your husband, its just gossip. Who can he turn you in to? If I were the judge and had to decide who would be a more fit parent to the kids, I would say the cheater. I would not want to turn my kids over to someone who has drug and alcohol problems.The kids are really the ones who will be confused with your behavior. You are cheating your kids and keep in mind that the situation you are in right now is just temporary. It will take time to decide if there will be joint custody of the kids. Then the only problem you will have is making sure he has the kids the weekend you are out showing off your new man.

- Response by 3wiltedroses, A Player, Female, Who Cares?, Self-Employed

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If you're legally separated, what can be said? If not, then infidelity is possible. Why not just file for divorce?

- Response by richard77, A Creative, Male, Who Cares?

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No, not cheating trust me. Well, would it makeyou feel better to know he has sex at least 5 times with other women while you were together?

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Other Profession

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Yes, it's cheating because you are still married silly :)

also, please dont "date" someone a week after you and your husband decide to take a break. Not only is that cheating, it looks really, really bad. not just to the town, but to your kids too. you know, those little ones that are supposed to mean the most to you.

Perhaps you should focus on other things besides a new guy right now.

- Response by jasmine27, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Other Profession

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I just dont think you have given your heart time or your emotions time for closure with your husband if that is going to happen. Something is just not right here. You are already dating someone else and your husband just left a week ago? Dont you understand all this has an effect on your children. I suspect foul play on your part because you are already seeing someone else! You are still legally married. Yes, it is cheating. Resolve all issues with your marriage, find closure with you husband and stop slinking around with some new dude.

- Response by verygood, A Father Figure, Male, 56-65, Denver, Lawyer

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I am amazed by the situation that you have put yourself into. How can you be dating again after only being seperated a week? I also have to wonder why you would be dating if you see a possibility of putting your marriage back together. Those I feel bad for are your children, have you considered what they may think or feel from your behavior. Hopefully one of them isn't a daughter and you are "teaching" her.

It sounds as though you are dependent, and covering your butt by looking for someone to replace your husband in taking care of you and your children, or not taking care of you and your children, since you are getting a divorce. This isn't good for you, or your children.

Why do you feel the desire to date so soon after splitting up with your husband, instead of making your children top priority, and living on your own instead of with your parents, is a big question you need to ask yourself.

- Response by maryinfla, Female, 46-55

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I do believe that yes he could have a case against you for infedelity if he found out so for the time being until you are divorced and all that is settled, it's probably not a good idea.

- Response by kickinghawk, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 29-35

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If you are married to one man and dating another...YES, you are cheating on your husband.

- Response by seajaih, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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