Back to Home

Active Questions

Does my boyfriend care about me and my feelings at all? Why would he upset me like this?
Dating / 9:13 PM - Saturday July 11, 2009

does my boyfriend care about me and my feelings at all? Why would he upset me like this?

My boyfriend and i have been together for two years. Valentines day was coming so i bought him a card thinking he was going to get me something too, but i was wrong, acouple hours into the day he said oh happy valentines day. His excuse was he is stressing out, money problems and that, but he can afford to get rims on his car and get it painted. I threw the card out without him knowing i even got him one. Acouple months came by and it was our anniversary...... again nothing he said the exact same excuse he did valentines day. But he took me out for dinner our first year together.
The thing that bothers me the most is he used the same excuse, but he is always spending money. When we going to bed that night he said to me that i seemed upset, but i played it off that i wasn't . I think he new i was going to be upset. He also said he will surprise me with gifts during the year, it has been 6 months and nothing!!!! I seriously thought he would get me something. Does he not care anymore?

Update: July 12, 2009.
Thank you. I got a lot of responses and everyone were on the same page. I was thinking he was a selfish asshole too, but i think i needed to hear other peoples response to this other than my close friends. Trust me, there is a million stories i could share,but i know now maybe i could do better. Thanks

- Asked by Female, 29-35

Read more about the Rating System

He cares...about himself! He will continue to treat you the way you allow him to...IJS

- Response by nowornever, A Thinker, Female, 66 or older, Financial / Banking

Rating Received:

Community Rating: Community Star

It sounds like to me all he is for is himself and probably always has been. You're probably just now seeing that side of him he was keeping from you.

It takes two to make a relationship work. If he isn't being a supportive boyfriend to your emotions, then why are you still with him? 2 years doesn't mean anything when the other side begins to drift.

Personally, if my boyfriend did that to me, I would be upset and confront him about it. Valentine's Day is one thing but an anniversary is another story and an important one. It makes it even worse when uses a lame excuse like "no money" yadda yadda just to give his ego-drive selfishness a "reason".

Sorry about it.

- Response by authorgirl, A Married Girl, Female, 29-35, Student

Rating Received:

No. He does not care.

The fact is that he cares more about pleasing himself than you. Actually, that's healthy to a point, but he is not invested in this relationship. It's not like asking for a freakin card is a lot.

It won't change..well will get worse.

- Response by myndseye711, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35

Rating Received:

I don't think you should be focusing on the materialistic stuff. Even with that aside, though, he still sounds like he's gotten quite "comfortable" in the relationship. It's not that I don't think he loves you anymore, but is definitely taking you for granted. I've been here before.

No, you shouldn't expect to celebrate every little thing...two years is hardly a milestone, but having a date night every once in a while IS important in a relationship. If he's complaining about money, offer to split the bill. Do YOU buy HIM spontaneous gifts? If not, don't expect him to do the same.

- Response by sunshinehighway, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, New York, Medical / Dental

Rating Received:

Keep in mind that at his age (22-25) he's still immature and a relationship is NOT a priority to him.

Secondly, you need to convey your feelings to him when he's not meeting your expectations. He got you as a g/f and now that he has you he feels he shouldn't have to do any work to maintain the relationship. He is who he is and you can't change him. This is who he is, unfortunately. In addition, you're teaching him how you wanted to be treated. Telling him "nothing is wrong" is a bad move.

I'm sure he "cares", but he's not married to you and probably feels he doesn't need to do anything to maintain the relationship, which includes gifts, doing special things for you, remembering dates, etc. He's not madly in love with you, I'm afraid. You're his shack-up honey and he knows it, so why should he work at anything since he has you in his hip pocket? And stop holding in your feelings on it if it bothers you so much. He's not a mind reader, although I think telling him how you feel will go in one ear and out the other. He has no appreciation for you too. That's why "rims" come first over showing you his appreciation and affection for you. And if you want a romantic, gift giving guy you'll have to go out and find one. Not all guys are created equal in this regard. Good luck

- Response by msadvise, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Transportation

Rating Received: