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Active Questions

How long does it take to get over a divorce?
Dating / 6:04 PM - Friday July 10, 2009

How long does it take to get over a divorce?

It someone had just gotten out of a long term marriage- like say 15 years of being with someone that made them miserable; how long would it take to get over it?
I'm asking because I am dating a man who just got divorced and he still had a lot of hate towards his ex wife. They never had children together but her kids (from a previous marriage) stole from him and she always took the kids side.

- Asked by Female, 36-45

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by the time there is a divorce usually they are over the relationship, there is always a special place in your heart for someone you were married to...maybe more due to the dreams and possibilities you shared more than the realities, but as far as being able to move into a new relationship, sounds like he should be good go.

- Response by ready4sumfun, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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I know people who NEVER get over it but I would say at least a year or more if he has hate for her that could be even longer.. be careful of being a rebound girlfriend.. if he is JUST divorced you may want to go slow or rethink it..

- Response by smartblond, A Sweet Sarah, Female, Who Cares?, Charlotte, Self-Employed

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Community Rating: Community Star

3 zillion years approximately.


- Response by bluegenel, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, Who Cares?, Technical

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My personal rule is at least two complete years after the divorce is final.

And if the guy STILL hates the ex -- then never. I don't date guys who hate people and can't resolve their issues.

- Response by utahmom, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Managerial

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Everyone is different. Some people get over it right away, and some people hold grudges for the rest of their life. But this guy sounds like he won't be getting over it for awhile....

- Response by lmarks, A Life of the Party, Male, 29-35, Los Angeles, Who Cares?

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There is no right or wrong answer to how long. Each person is different, however I would tell you to proceed with extreme caution. Don't let your heart get to involved until you know his intentions. Not saying he is wrong, but he maybe using you to fill a void right now. I don't think it would be on purpose or to hurt you intentionally though. Be careful.

- Response by lk2mvit, A Life of the Party, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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Bad idea to date someone who has just been recently divorced. There are unresolve issues if he's got a lot of hatred in him.
I have been divorced for almost 2 yrs and although I have moved on , part of me isn't over it yet....

- Response by A Hippie Chick, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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i'm actually dating someone that just got a divorce litterally while we were together. His divorce he tells me technically was over a while ago. we've been dating for almost 7 months and i know we are in love with each other! He'll never fully be over her it was his first marriage and ended horribly but he wasnt with her more then 3 years, but it depends how they feel about it every relationship that you think would work is worth trying!

- Response by An Alternative Girl, Female, Who Cares?, Cleveland, Who Cares?

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I got my divorce in thirty days because my ex did not contest it.
It depends on the laws of your state.
Call the County Clerks office and find out what the rules of your state are.

- Response by amandasboy, A Father Figure, Male, 66 or older, Atlanta, Retired

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It takes a full 5 years to get over a divorce. Until that you will not be ready to meet someone else. You might have an interim partner during the 5 years, but he/she won't be the person you want when you have finally recovered.

- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Construction

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I know everyone is telling you NOT to date someone recently divorced. I dated someone when I was recently divorced... Was I this horrible guy that didn't know what he wanted? No, I wasn't. The lady I dated couldn't decide what she wanted. It was a heart wrenching on and off affair that frankly in hindsight I would have been 1000 times better off NOT going through.

It really depends on who is just getting divorced. Some people would be an ideal catch. Some people come out of marriage literally ready to do it again cause they really liked being married. That was me btw. And no, it wasn't cause I was desperately trying to replace my exwife. I liked being married and loved the gal I was dating. Other people come out of a bad marriage so wounded they have trouble commiting and fear marriage etc. Oddly, that was the gal I dated after my divorce... Even though she had been divorced like 8 years and still not over it. Where I had been out for just months and was ready to move on.

Don't get me wrong... My ex will always generate a certain amount of "disgust" in me when I think about her (its been 10 years now and I still think 'ick, how can someone act like that'). Doesn't mean though I cry myself to sleep about it either :)

- Response by An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Teaching

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1loohoo knows exactly what she's talking about

- Response by isotope, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Science / Engineering

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Sorry you had a divorce. They are hard to deal with and second only in pain to the death of a close family member or friend. I think it depends on the honest amount of true love that was there. Me.. 12 years to get over my first marriage and it took my second to really put it in the past, but now I am sadly going through it again... I think for me... I will never and won't do this again... my kiddos suffer and I feel terrible about it... And with his ex wife taking the side of her kids.. anyone entering a blended family or having step kids should understand that they will often and most times comes second to the kids... to not think so or expect so is foolish... I am learning that those dynamics are best left alone. Sorry but I'd let the guy know that he needs to deal with his unresolved issues before you two get serious at all... good luck... Ask LOTS of questions before hand too.... about common ground and find out how compatible you two are before you commit to anything... good luck.

- Response by timeforanoverhaul, A Father Figure, Male, 36-45, Managerial

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