Back to Home

Active Questions

Why do guys pay more attention to you when you ignore them?
Dating / 7:15 PM - Thursday July 09, 2009

Why do guys pay more attention to you when you ignore them?

I like this guy and I know he likes me back, but it seems like he's only really interested when I ignore him. I don't get it...I'm not clingy or anything, but it's like if I want to talk to him I have to ignore him first. Is it me, guys in general or is he just weird?

- Asked by fallrose, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 26-28

Read more about the Rating System


because boys like a challenge, they like games and they like to win, but if they win too soon - they lose interest in the game


if something is harder to get - it makes them feel like they've accomplished something, like they can compete and ultimately to them it translates that they are 'ok' and can survive

there maybe are no more elephants and wild boars to hunt for modern men but hunter's gene has survived and underlines everything a man does


- Response by rubyrednotdead, A Creative, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

Rating Received:

Community Rating: Community Star

It's simple really.
When you pay attention to him, he is quite happy and carefree.
So of course, when you don't pay attention to him, it bothers him, and he makes an effort to get you to pay attention to him again.

- Response by andrewj5267, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Miami, Teaching

Rating Received:


It's very normal, it's evolution at work. The man is the "hunter"; he needs to feel the thrill of the chase when he hunts down a desirable female. The girl who throws herself at a guy will often be left alone [she might get a ONS but that's about it] because those kinds of action take away from the "game". The woman who is hard to get [this doesn't mean play games with him on purpose, or too much, you can mess with him a little though], will always been seen as desirable. The man has to wonder why she's ignoring him, why she's playing so hard to get--there must be something really special about her is the only conclusion. Some advice though, ignore him a little to bait him but if you really like this guy and he likes you back, there's nothing wrong with just talking to him normally. If you're upfront about your feeling and he's less interested in you when you don't ignore him, then there is something wrong with him.

- Response by dinkylorenzo, An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35, New York, Artist / Musician / Writer

Rating Received:


My ex cried if I ignored him.

It's not weird at all. Some guys say they don't like when a girl plays hard to get, but most guys want to be noticed. He's trying to make sure he still has your attention.

Don't ignore him entirely, just put off when you do reply to him. Does it bother you to wait by your phone or computer to hear from him? Picture him in that scenario, wondering when he's going to hear from you again. If he's worth it, he'll put in more effort to talk to you.

- Response by Luna0330, A Hippie Chick, Female, 29-35, Consulting

Rating Received:


It's not only men that do that...It is human nature to want what you can't have!!!!!!!!!!

- Response by barbb, An Alternative Girl, Female, Who Cares?, Other Profession

Rating Received:


It's not only men that do that...It is human nature to want what you can't have!!!!!!!!!!

- Response by barbb, An Alternative Girl, Female, Who Cares?, Other Profession

Rating Received:


It's not only men that do that...It is human nature to want what you can't have@@@@@@@

- Response by barbb, An Alternative Girl, Female, Who Cares?, Other Profession

Rating Received:


I think that men notice when you stop paying as much attention to them, which is why they step their game up to get you to notice them again. However, I've learned that the little boost in extra attention you get is short lived at best. Once they feel they've got you back where they want you, they usually start settling backt into whatever they were doing previously. It's a shock tactic that doesn't yield lasting results unless the man is both interested and not to chicken to show it.

- Response by sxybtch25, A Sportif, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


Like most people in your age range (generally under 25), guys think they have to play a 'game' to get a girls attention.

The 3-day calling "rule", the "hard to get" rule.. all of that crap. Just a bunch of games, from people who lack the confidence to just be upfront, direct, and make their interest clearly known.

- Response by steve67, A Rebel, Male, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


Trust me it is not you. All guys tend to be this way. I think some guys are just plain weird and some do not know what they want. I went through this not to long ago.

- Response by latinagirl1989, A Thinker, Female, 22-25

Rating Received:


guys like challenges, they have to be the chaser. He wants to feel like he conquered something. Reminds me of animals really. They wait for you to act like you don't notice them, then pounce on you lmao. If it bugs you though, then talk to him about it. force him to lay it out for you.

- Response by lk2mvit, A Life of the Party, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

Rating Received:


girl lemme tell u.. ALL GUYS ARE WEIRD!!!
its true if u dont give them alot of attention they start wanting u
its kinda like play hard to get

- Response by A Sweet Sarah, Female, 26-28

Rating Received: