Back to Home

Active Questions

How can I tell a guy nicely that I'm just not interested?
Dating / 12:36 PM - Wednesday July 08, 2009

How can I tell a guy nicely that I'm just not interested?


- Asked by missmeghan88, A Trendsetter, Female, 22-25

Read more about the Rating System


"Thank you. I'm flattered, and I think you're a great guy. But I can't see us as more than just friends."

It's overused and not always believeable. But it's better than any elaborate, made-up excuse and not as insulting as "I'm not interested,."


- Response by uniquelyme2, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Artist / Musician / Writer

Rating Received:

Community Rating: Community Star

Repeat after me: "Let's just be friends"

EVERY guy knows.. that's the death knell for any attempt at dating a girl.

- Response by steve67, A Rebel, Male, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


Just be honest with him. He will be dissapointed but will understand & accept your honesty.

- Response by cup26, A Career Man, Male, 46-55, Halifax, Managerial

Rating Received:


Tell him you just don't think you are a good match. If he doen't get it with that statement them you may not be able to be so "nicely".

- Response by nowornever, A Thinker, Female, 66 or older, Financial / Banking

Rating Received:


first go somewhere private(so you won't embarass him in case his friends or someone is around) and say: "I'm really sorry but i don't think this may work out between us how about we just be friends" that's the easiest and most simple way

- Response by kimmybee7, A Player, Female, 22-25

Rating Received:


You KNOW how to tell a guy nicely that you are just not interested, you just tell him nicely.

What you are really asking is how do you tell him in a way that doesn't hurt his feelings. And the answer to that is, you can't. His feelings are going to be hurt however you tell him. Just dont worry about it, its not your fault - you aren't trying to hurt his feelings, and if his feelings are hurt thats his problem, not yours. Just be nice and polite and tell him, and the rest is up to him to deal with.

- Response by xerxes, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Washington, DC, Lawyer

Rating Received:


Just say, sorry i am not interested, that's it, you owe nno one an explanation.

- Response by bfly36, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

Rating Received:


You should always start with something positive to say about that person. You don't want him to feel bad about himself afterwards. After you say at least one really nice thing about him, tell him "... but I don't feel a chemistry between the two of us, I am sorry." He might be upset at first, but he will remember the nice thing(s) you said about him later. It is much better to do this soon so he doesn't feel he was being led on.

- Response by boudoirnovelties, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Consulting

Rating Received:


There is no nicer way then to say that you are just not interested in having a relationship with him.

- Response by bilberry, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65

Rating Received:


I really like you, but I don't think we would be a good match for a romantic relationship. If he asks why, blame it on chemistry or tell him that you see him as a friend only.

- Response by silver75, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Stockholm, Other Profession

Rating Received:


2 approaches...if the guy is a jerk, just be blunt about it.

But, if he's basically a nice guy, just not your type...then tell him exactly that! "You're nice/sweet/funny (whatever fits), but I'm just not feeling the chemistry. I'm sure there are a lot of girls who would just love to meet you." You've been honest...and no one can really ask more than that...

- Response by captainduster, A Father Figure, Male, 56-65, Managerial

Rating Received:


I can't give you the exact line to say, be honest but tactful. If you make up some excuse, he'll definitely see through it, and it'd be more offensive, and he'd think you're insulting his intelligence.

- Response by simplyasking, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


Just tell him your not ready for a relationship, that should do it.

- Response by listentome27, A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Dallas

Rating Received:


You say that you like him as a friend. Tell him that you really enjoy his company and hope that you can still be friends, but that you're not interested in a relationship now. Most guys get the hint when that's said. Build him up to slowly and softly let him down.

- Response by rhunt0210, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Other Profession

Rating Received:


..tell him u have a bf..

- Response by michellekia, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, St.Louis, Other Profession

Rating Received:


Just say exactly that.

- Response by sunset77, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


So I have read the question, and the responses. :] I think that I might like to say something a little different. If you don't mind. Someone said that "lets just be friends," or "I am just not interested", is a death knell. but I don't think that is always true. My sister was asked out by a man she didn't know but had seen before. She said no. Nicely, bluntly and repeatedly. Finally she said yes (at the time she was NOT attracted to him at all) but then she went on a few dates with him and her perspective changed. Now they are happily married.
I guess what I am trying to say is, that unless the guy is a jerk, a cheater or is on drugs or something else that is (in my opinion) a major character flaw, I think you should give him a chance. If after really getting to know him, you still really aren't interested then you can honestly tell him, "*so and so, you are a really great guy, and I have enjoyed getting to know you, but I really don't think that we are compatible (or however you feel is the best way to say it.) That is just my opinion. Maybe you have already done this.

- Response by timidwanton, A Creative, Female, 22-25

Rating Received:


the same way they tell a woman, "quickly"

- Response by osieboo, A Thinker, Female, 56-65

Rating Received:


Tell him you can't become involved in dating right now because of your extreme hours spent at work. Would not be fair to either of you. It might work.

- Response by dreamdancer, A Creative, Female, 29-35, Houston, Other Profession

Rating Received:


I'd so it as honestly and easy as possible. While doing it mention all of his good points, of why he would be a good catch for somebody.

- Response by me45613, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Administrative

Rating Received: