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Do you keep a grudge? Or do you forget about them easily?
Jokes, Polls & Anything Else / 5:19 PM - Tuesday July 07, 2009

Do you keep a grudge? Or do you forget about them easily?

Now remember someone you don't like. Can you remember what they did to you that made you not like them?

Someone told me that people are great at remembering the wrongs that were done to them. Funny, I can remember most of them. You?

- Asked by quikslvr, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, Washington, DC, Lawyer

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I remember, but I don't focus or obsess over it, that's the key. Funny thing, though, is that it seems that the person that did it always "forgets."

- Response by wudaddy, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 29-35, Dallas, Law Enforcement

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i hold a grudge. and even if i ever get over it, i remember it for future reference.

i hate half my family. in fact, i don't really claim them as my family.

- Response by jess_412, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Medical / Dental

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It's horrible to say but in many cases I hold a grudge for life. but that's usually when the person has shown to me that they aren't as nice as they are playing. With family and loved ones, no I don't hold a grudge

- Response by almostcoolmom4, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, New York, Other Profession

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I don't hold a grudge, I can't.. I'm not a vengeful person although I surely wish I was.


- Response by turndial, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Dusseldorf, Student

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I try not to hold grudges b/c its really bad karma but I do not forget someone who has done me wrong. I can forgive but not forget.

- Response by dolphingirl44, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Tampa, Veterinary

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Only in dating.
If you screwed me over and then a couple of months later try to chat with me like what ever happened to us? I will remember.In color. and in detail.

- Response by guy506, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Houston, Other Profession

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I used to hold grudges like no ones business but not anymore, I find life is a lot more enjoyable if you forgive those who have wronged you (even if they don't deserve it) and forget them. Life's too short to be angry over something you cannot change. I can remember the things that harmed mein the past, but they do not bring up vegeful feelings because I have let them go andam much happier for it!

- Response by max10, A Creative, Female, 26-28, Vancouver, Other Profession

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Here's my rule:

If you do me wrong I have two choices...

1. Recognize that whatever happened is not typical behavior and choose to believe it won't happen again. In that case, I forgive AND forget
2. Realize that whatever happened is a reflection of their true selves, and decide not to have them in my life anymore.

I either truly forgive, or tell the person goodbye for good. There is no inbetween.


- Response by myndseye711, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Vladivostok, Technical

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I usually don't unless they did something really hurtful even then I can easily pretend it never mattered. they'll never know how much I really dislike them.

- Response by angel666, A Creative, Female, 26-28, New York, Student

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I Don't hold grudges! but I do remember to not so easily place trust in that person again. Grudges are pointless, too many grudges turns the nicest of characters into a bitter and over-wary person.

- Response by puniksem, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, London, Consulting

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I don't typically hold a grudge. I've learned to address the problem at hand so that both sides can be resolved. The one thing I do not tolerate is lying, I lost my best friend 5 years ago because of it. I'm not saying that I don't forget grudges either....I can move past incidents though.

- Response by smoothie3, A Sportif, Female, 22-25, Milwaukee, Student

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I wonder if that 14 year old and his mom would much rather see Ms. Letourneau getting an new perm right about now, hmmmm?

- Response by A Player, Male, 29-35

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mike shroader. hes garbage. when i was 12 we got in a fight at the public pool and he didnt kicked out for the rest of the year like i did and he started the fight. he got his ass kicked every time i seen him up until the begining 10th grade. the most messed up thing is hed always start it. i hated that kid. lol

- Response by j3s5e, A Rebel, Male, 29-35, Who Cares?

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depends on what it was but generally I just push it aside. If it was just some random person who gives a shit? They're nobody special in my life but if it was someone I'm close with then I might simmer over it for 48 hours max.
I usually don't remember specifically what I was wronged about lol but I remembered what was righted.

- Response by TheSshhmoe, An Alternative Girl, Female, 22-25, Student

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Grudges require a lot of energy, I would rather use it else where regardless of what people do to me.

- Response by debski, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Detroit, Science / Engineering

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I don't hold a grudge in the sense that I dwell on thoughts of the person or what they've done to me. But I don't forgive and forget either. If someone has done me serious wrong, I refuse to deal with them at all. I have no qualms with writing someone out of my life if I can't tolerate them.

- Response by steff81, A Hippie Chick, Female, 29-35, Teaching

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I don't hold a grudge but I do remember those who have hurt me or attacked me and won't trust them as I did before...I can remember most of them too and when/if I don't, I do tend to keep up my boundaries with them for the purpose of not having the possibility of being hurt/attacked by them...:D

- Response by fastball, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Edmonton, Self-Employed

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I'm not going to hold a grudge against someone that unintentionally or out of ignorance offended me. If it's someone that I love and care about, and the offense was intentional, I'll talk to that person at an appropriate and opportune time. Hopefully, we'll resolve the issue. However, if the offense was committed by someone I know to be a trouble-making and an evil hearted person.

I still would not hold a grudge. I'll even forgive them. But, I will have no further dealings with them. Because, I know the difference between a person that behaved like a jerk, and someone with the heart, mind, and mouth of a jerk. Therefore, I don't waste my time with instigators, liars, and evil hearted people. It really wouldn't be about "holding" a grudge or never letting them forget their wrong. It would be about dismissing from my life someone known for desiring to see me more hurt than happy.

- Response by thelovedovefor1, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Who Cares?

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Yeah I usually do remember the wrongs done to me, more than the good. But I do my very best not to hold a grudge. What good does it do? Nothing.
My mother who is 91 now can really hold a grudge. She remembers slights, fights, etc from over 80 yrs ago....She said once that she could never forgive her sister for something she did to her when she was 6 yrs old for cring out loud and her sister is dead and she still holds a grudge. And because she keep hold of her bitterness toward everyone whom she feels has done her wrong in some way, she has driven all of us away. No one goes to see her unless they have too.
I swore to myself I wouldn't be like that. I may remember the wrong, but I'll try my hardest not to hold a grudge and just forget it, and usually I'm successful at it. The more you work at not doing it the easier it is not to hold a grudge.

- Response by mysticdream44, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 56-65, Who Cares?

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I might keep a grudge for a short while but I try to let it go. I perfer not to live my life like that. I think it human to remember both some good and bad. Certain things like smells, images, or people may trigger these feelings but they should not consume you. Keep the power and be positive.

- Response by wonderman77, A Creative, Male, 36-45

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I don't hold grudges. I figure it is the other person's problem and they have to resolve it for themselves. Life is too short to be resentful.

- Response by dreamdancer, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Houston, Other Profession

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Unfortunately, I hold on to grudges, not proud of it, but it's what naturally happens when someone has wronged me and doesn't show any remorse of some sort. But I do exert effort to put it aside if I feel that the relationship is valuable and must be given another try.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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Unfortunately, I hold on to grudges, not proud of it, but it's what naturally happens when someone has wronged me and doesn't show any remorse of some sort. But I do exert effort to put it aside if I feel that the relationship is valuable and must be given another try.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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Unfortunately, I hold on to grudges, not proud of it, but it's what naturally happens when someone has wronged me and doesn't show any remorse of some sort. But I do exert effort to put it aside if I feel that the relationship is valuable and must be given another try.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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I forgive really easily. But I don't forget. I don't hold grudges or any ill will. But I can still remember each and every time I was hurt.

- Response by sunset77, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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A boss at work used to set me up and take credit for my work. She knows how to kiss ass. She tells each person what they really want to hear. I never keep grudges--life is too short. Move on.

- Response by dreamdancer, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Houston, Other Profession

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my sister is a very evil and heartless person when she wants to be , in all honestly she is a BITCH , and she doesn't care if she hurts you ..... she always trys to turn the situation around so i always keep a grudge with her because she is an evil person and i only socialise with her when i HAVE to ,
i'm not saying i am proud because obviously she is my sister , but i can't stand her 90% of the time . it's like a cycle with her she does the same things to hurt me over and over again and she does not care so if i could keep a grudge allll my life with her i would ! , it does not take energy in my case , it makes my life better to know i don't have to have anything to do with her most of the time !

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Birmingham

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