I'm really angry at/hurt by my husband for pushing sex when I told him no. We just had a baby,
so my vagina is still sensitive and we haven't had sex yet.
Last night he woke up and tried to have sex with me, then really hurt me.
Basically 2 kisses of foreplay and then he tried to push his penis in even though I told him it wouldn't work. The baby was right next to us, I was stressed and 1 minute of foreplay was not enough to make it happen.
While I'm telling him not to and pushing his hips away, he says it will work and just shoves it in.
It really hurt! I screamed in pain, startling both him and the baby. I started to cry because he hurt me, and that he didn't listen to me when I said I wasn't ready.
He hugged me for a minute, then rolled over putting his earplugs in to fall asleep. I ended up falling asleep crying.
He really hurt my feelings, not to mention that it hurt a lot. I feel like we're never going to have sex again because he either gets frustrated if I need foreplay and stops completely, or last night after less than a minute of it just shoved it in so it was really painful. Either no sex or painful sex, I guess it's not worth it to seduce your own wife. Great, when we were dating he would do all of the seduction needed. Now that I had our baby and really need seduction to get it to work, he either gives up after a minute or just shoves it in when it's painful.
I want to not be upset with him, but I'm really upset and hurt by his insensitivity.
I really don't want to be upset with him, but I can't help it.
Update: July 01, 2009.
To give him some credit, he stopped right when he put it in, because I screamed out in pain. Then he hugged me and said he was sorry and didn't mean to-he "thought it would work". I was fine when he put the earplugs in, but then I started to cry again because him turning away when I needed him made me sad. He apologized a lot this morning too. One it's me not being ready and needing a lot of foreplay to make it work, then it's him getting frustrated and feeling like a shitty lover and rejected. I hope we can fix this. I'd like our sex life back, but it's not going to work like this.
- Asked by A Thinker, Female, 36-45