Back to Home

Active Questions

I have been with my boyfriend for 4 months lives with his ex girlfriend. She does not know about me.
Dating / 12:41 AM - Friday June 26, 2009

I have been with my boyfriend for 4 months lives with his ex girlfriend. She does not know about me.

The reason why she is still around is because she pays for the food, cable, and internet for his 15 year old son. The son is going out of state this summer to visit with his mother. He told his dad (my boyfriend) that he wants to live with his mother.

So now my boyfriends want to continue to live there in the house with the ex until his son decides what he wants to do. (Live with mom or dad) Should I continue to be with this man and think that will move out? Or should I think that he is still with her? I love this man more then I have ever loved any other man in my life.

- Asked by Female, 29-35

Read more about the Rating System

WOW what a LOSER.. so let me get this right.. he is living with a woman who does not know about you to sponge of her for money and bills, while he lies and cheats to be with you but wants to stay with the ex for the bills.. if that is not 20 ways to selfish I don't know what is..

He is using his son for an excuse to get a free ride, which is even more pathetic.. HE is SHOWING you who he is.. he is not going anywhere.. he has you for sex he has her for sex and money and both of you are being made fools of.

WHY in the world would you date a man who had NO integrity or respect for her OR for you.. Cheating on her, lying to her and I have news for you can BET he is lying to you.. I would say both of you are fools except she doesn't know she is being used.. wake up girl you are worth more then this parasite...a real MAN would not act this way OR live off of a woman. He would be mortified.. he has no self respect and I am also betting you are NOT the only "girlfriend" she does not know about.. how can you NOT see this?? get rid of him!!! UGH.


- Response by smartblond, A Sweet Sarah, Female, Who Cares?, Charlotte, Self-Employed

Rating Received:

Community Rating: Community Star

He has the best of both world. Move on and forget this loser.

- Response by barbb, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Chicago, Other Profession

Rating Received:


Run far and fast; you are young and can start over with someone deserving of your being single and available...which he is not. I do not speculate that he is still with her/loves her, etc..., just a lot of baggage in having a kid together. If you love him as you say, back off, and give him a chance to figure out what he wants--minus her and his now adolescent child. I wish you all the best...take care of YOU FIRST!

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Other Profession

Rating Received:


I'm sorry you're so in love, but I have to agree with the other two responses. This guy sounds like a user and a loser. He is mooching off his ex and his option is to mooch off his parents? At the age you are talking, it's time for him to grow up and stand on his own. You are seting yourself up for misery.

- Response by minnemt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Medical / Dental

Rating Received:


OK you can love him and wait it out as long as you 100% understand no matter what he "says" they are still sexing too.
You might as well be sleeping with her directly, she sounds overly nice.

- Response by pretend, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


If his ex eas truly his ex, he would not still be living with her. Think about it: If they really were just platonic roomies right now, he would tell her about you and probably introduce the two of you to each other as well. They're still together, and he's just using the situation with his son as an excuse. Even if he was telling you the truth, a guy who would let his ex girlfriend support his son, rather than supporting the kid on his own, is a deadbeat loser.

- Response by uniquelyme2, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Artist / Musician / Writer

Rating Received:


Im not judging you, but i don't think much of any man that would use another person just to benefit himself and he's not being fair to youy by living with her.
how do we know he's not being all lovey dovey with her?
it just bothers me because what will stop him from doing the same to you someday? hopefully not. good luck.

- Response by A Trendsetter, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


Your boyfriend still lives with his ex, and he wants to live with his mom or dad when he leaves his ex. He doesn't have any ambition to support his son, nor does he seem to have any ambition to support himself, either. Frankly, what you have is a loser who's using you for a booty call, and if you aren't careful, you'll get dragged down to his level.

- Response by myrtletyrtle, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


Love don't excuse you wanting to be with a fraction of a man, that leech ass bum. Have some dignity and walk.... he ain't worth his weight in SHIT!!

- Response by king313, A Hip Hop Guy, Male, 29-35, Detroit, Other Profession

Rating Received:


Nope. Nope. Nope. She still HAS him. He's lying to you, and obviuously you don't see that.
He won't move out. He will continue to lie to you.
IF he loved you, IF he really wanted to be with you, he would have already moved out. Please think this over and move on, because this isn't gonna work for you.

- Response by nursefromky, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Medical / Dental

Rating Received:


I'm sorry but I just have to ask, WHY? WHY are you still with this guy, WHY are you so in love with him? Every reason not to like him was in your post, but maybe that's what love can do. The guy led on another woman just so she can support a lifestyle that he cannot afford; if he leaves that woman, there's a chance he'll turn his attention to you and have history repeat itself, so vicariously learn and see that your future might become like that of her ex girlfriend.

- Response by simplyasking, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


Dumb dumb-dumb dumb!

- Response by boggob, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Political / Government

Rating Received:


Quick get the hell out before its to late, been there and done that and all I can say is that he's using you. He's only in it for the free ride.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Atlanta, Medical / Dental

Rating Received:


DONE!
I can't believe he has dragged you around and you are willing to go along with this for 4 months.
He is using you and her and everyone else in his life.
You deserve someone worthy of respect and shows maturity and responsibility as a partner and a parent.
This guy is not the one.

- Response by momharleyxl, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Los Angeles, Self-Employed

Rating Received:


Of course he is still with her...he has the best of both worlds and why in the hell would he want to 'risk' losing the ability to have sex with you when he is also able to sponge off another woman who has no idea what is happening...you would be 'smart' to end this relationship and find that one person who is going to treat you EXACTLY like you should be treated: with respect and the feeling that you are the ONLY one in their life...:D

- Response by fastball, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Edmonton, Student

Rating Received:


He is a mooch. If they are not together. And what woman in her right mind would do that for a grown man, let alone an ex? Also, he won't be able to take care of you if he can't even take care of his own kid. Period. Find someone worth it.

- Response by honey1306, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Denver, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


Your boyfriend sounds like a user to me!! What makes you think he won't use you too? Move on, this guy is NOT worth it!!

- Response by mysticdream44, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 56-65, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


L E A V E! Go find yourself someone who is truly ready to love you in return and be proud of it. I don't know what it is that triggers thesense that you love him more than anyone (yet) you've known, but it very surely had to do with something in yourSELF that deserves your loving attention. THen find someone ELSE who deserves your loving attention. This one hasn't moved on emotionally from Mother as cenetr of his life yet and is in no way ready for any relationship with a grown woman partner.

- Response by serentan, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Artist / Musician / Writer

Rating Received:


The big question I have is why you accept this situation? The thing I don't understand is why any woman would accept being the "other woman", the one in the shadows; the one he doesn't show off to his friends. My guess is you've been hurt and you think this mean spirited man is all you can attract. Don't you love yourself more than this and don't you deserve better?

- Response by 21andfree, Female, 46-55, Financial / Banking

Rating Received:


I don't think you're the girlfriend....

- Response by tiyafabulous83, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35, Atlanta, Who Cares?

Rating Received: