Back to Home

Active Questions

Everyone tells me I'm pretty but I get no male attention. What qualities do men find attractive?
Dating / 11:02 AM - Sunday June 21, 2009

Everyone tells me I'm pretty but I get no male attention. What qualities do men find attractive?

As a teenager I used to get a great deal of attention from men; I am now in my early 20's and look exactly the same, but men are no longer interested in me. I'm finding this quite stressful - I can't work out what I'm doing wrong. I am very shy and probably don't move in a very confident way; I would welcome any suggestions of what sort of clothes and body language men find attractive.

- Asked by Female, 26-28, Who Cares?

Read more about the Rating System


I think you are thinking it in a very horrible way. You should not be thinking of ways to attract men. You should be doing the things you like, wearing the clothes you want, and then it will attract the men that you would like to meet. You got to know what men you want in your life.

- Response by doodlydog, A Player, Male, 22-25, Student

Rating Received:


I agree that people who say 'be yourself' aren't being helpful. Just as people who say 'act confident' aren't being helpful.

You're probably not going to overcome your shyness either. Two things that you can do are this. 1. Smile a lot. People find smiles very disarming and smiling people are easier to approach. 2. When someone does approach you, make sure you make eye contact. Shy people (like me) sometimes avoid eye contact. People who aren't so shy find it very off putting.



- Response by ginsuswims, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Veterinary

Rating Received:


Honestly, a lot of men and women are just cowards when it comes to the opposite sex. I think you may need to get to a different setting other then the bars as the types of guys you may like may not frequent there or they just go to party and not pick up.

- Response by hockeykid666, A Guy Critical, Male, 26-28, Toronto, Student

Rating Received:


CONFIDENCE is a great factor.

- Response by lovehim1234, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Indianapolis, Retail

Rating Received:


I am always told how beautiful I am but yet some men do not approach me in fear of rejection. ( a couple of guys told me this, it makes them very nervous to approach a hot one, they want to but are afraid to in fear of rejection.) who knows just do like I do and show confidence, know who you are, don't act giddy, stupied or come on too strong, wear clothes you are comfortable in and this projects self-confidence and yes, SMILE.

- Response by A Sportif, Female, 56-65, Self-Employed

Rating Received:


People who tell you to "Just be yourself" are doing nothing to help you. If you don't do SOMEthing different, nothing is going to change for you.
Learn to flirt! It's an artform, and it's something you can use anywhere, with anybody. The essential part of flirting is to simply BE FRIENDLY. Lots of women are defeated by this idea.
I've actually seen self-help guides for learning to flirt-- Joyce Jillson's "The Fine Art of Flirting" and Dian Hanson's "How to Pick Up a Man" have been around for years, and the basics haven't changed. You can find these online for a couple of bucks, used.
Read "The Rules" -- time-tested ways to capture the heart of Mr Right. After you read it, throw it in the garbage and do everything the opposite.

- Response by chesterdad, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, San Francisco

Rating Received:


Good looking and shy. If you are very pretty most will assume that you are unavailable and if you are shy your body language (i.e eye contact etc.) will not communicate approachability.

You are going to have to be the one to break the ice. Besides if a pretty woman starts taking to some guy, I think that he might clue in pretty quickly.

- Response by miasma, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 29-35, Toronto, Science / Engineering

Rating Received:


Be yourself, so your shy some guys like shy girls I know I do, a shy girl always gets a guy you just have get out there more. As for clothes, I have made a point to tell every girl that I have ever been close to that they look the best when they just want to lounge around the house, body language, your shy you have the perfect body language if you ask me.

- Response by ezraelouselric, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 26-28, Food Service

Rating Received: