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If a man doesn't think you're girlfriend-material, he doesn't deserve you: True or false?
Dating / 8:19 PM - Saturday June 20, 2009

If a man doesn't think you're girlfriend-material, he doesn't deserve you: True or false?

What do you think of a woman having the belief that if a guy doesn't think she's worthy/good enough of/for a relationship with him, he doesn't deserve her? Is she in denial or right on?

- Asked by A Trendsetter, Female, 22-25

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Right on! No woman should want any man that doesn't want her. And it shouldn't have to take an act of God for him to be able to recognize your worth. If he's too stupid to realize it early on, then you don't want a man like him anyways!

- Response by sxybtch25, A Sportif, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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She's absolutely right on!

What would she be to him if not his girlfriend? His f* buddy? Whyever would she stoop to that?

If he doesn't want all of her, he deserves no part of her, in my opinion.

Maybe she should be thinking along the lines of whether he is worthy/good enough for/ a relationship with her.

- Response by mamom04, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 56-65, Phoenix

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It depends on why the guy feels this way. It doesn't have to be taken as a personal assault on a woman's worth nor his character. Just because someone doesn't see a person as relationship material FOR THEM, doesn't make them a bad person. The only time I think it's true that a man doesn't deserve a woman is, if she is a great woman, they are in a relationship, and he's treating her badly. Then, if he breaks up with her. Then, I can see the woman feeling this way. But, simply because he doesn't believe a woman to be the type of person he can see himself with, doesn't make him a terrible guy. Everyone has a right to want who they want for a relationship. If I don't think a man is worthy or good enough for the type of person I am. It usually will be because of the personality they have. Not, because I'm a conceited or high-minded jerk.

- Response by thelovedovefor1, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Who Cares?

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She is SO right on!!!!!!!!!!

- Response by msadvise, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Transportation

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Sounds like good healthy self-esteem. She is RIGHT ON.

- Response by purrzn, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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True.

- Response by nursefromky, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Medical / Dental

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I hope she is not giving the guy the time of day.....She sounds like she knows herself and what she is "right on".....good for her......Men can be such idiots......

- Response by zibet58, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Teaching

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True. If a man ever actually confesseses the reasons he doesn't want to date a woman, he's being honest, and that should be take to heart. (Ladies, I don't think it's any easier for them than it is for us). Just cut that relationship wanna-be off.

- Response by tortureu2, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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What is right is what is right for you.Each of us in unique and we each have our own paths in life and it's up to each of us to walk the paths that will bring us to our individual goals.But above that we each have a small voice inside us that tells us what is right and what is wrong.It's called a consience and think of it as a fail safe for those who don't get enough bible reading.

Do everything you do for you.Choose those to be around you that compliment and enhance your life the way you want it to be.Even when you do something for others it should be something done because it's something that does something for you as well when you do it.

- Response by justme38271, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 46-55, Consulting

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You have the idea a bit backwards and distorted. The concept IS that YOU don't want a man who would date you but doesn't really think you are worthy of seeing exclusively after a certain period of time that you specify at the beginning. If you are also playing the field than that specified time might vary upwards to as much as 6 months. But never renegotiate that amount of time and mean what you say when you tell him that you would like some time to get to know him before being exclusive and then name the time frame. If you or he isn't interested in exclusivity by that time....thank them and then bow out. Too many people know how to handle negotiating a raise but not their own relationships. Sometimes you have to walk away from the table to get what you want.

- Response by joybird, A Hippie Chick, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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Very true.

- Response by azenqt7, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, New York, Who Cares?

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It depends of what sort of relationship you want with him. If you're looking for a true love relationship then you're just right to move on if he tells you so after dating for a month, it's pointless to be with a guy you feel he's not gonna give you at all what you think you deserve and what you're willing to give him. The problem is that guys are not from the beginning willing to be in a commited relationship, you have to make them feel truly happy before they open themselves and think.."hold on, this is the sort of woman I've always wanted for myself" and do something about it. I was about to dump my bf several times because I thought he didn't deserve me, but he kept calling me and instinctively mend his mistakes.. so I felt he was really longing to be with me, but it took him about a month and a half to do something about it. But now he's completely lovely and adorable. And basically treats me like a princess. So you might be losing a lot too if you move on too quick. :). But I wonder if it would have been the same wouldn't I had to move back to spain because I found no job nor nothing, and since he didn't ask me to stay I had to make the hard decission of giving everything up and move back to Spain. :)

- Response by selenne, An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35, Home Maker

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I'd say she's right no - not becausse she's "too good" for him but just beause they're not right for each other. Feelings have to be mutual for a relationship to be worth pursuing.


- Response by uniquelyme2, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Artist / Musician / Writer

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First off, I am not "material" anything, so if someone let that come out of their mouths, then I would not talk to them again. I don't think she is "too good" for him, but I do think he does not deserve the time of day. If he does not want you as a girlfriend, and you are looking for that type of relationship, then move on to the next fellow... Plain and simple. He does not deserve you, and you will find someone who is a better fit.

- Response by sanguinenight, An Alternative Girl, Female, 22-25, Student

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It is not for a single person; man or woman to decide whether someone is worthy or not. Period. If a man you know has told you or someone else this, then HE is the one that needs to seriously examine his own personal self and see a certified shrink! What he is trying to tell a women when he says this, is that he needs to feel power over you in some way because he is either "threatened" by the way you look or your ideals. So the only way he can compensate is to tell you that you are not worthy of dating/men/girlfriend material. It's just another "mind" game in the world of dating. Just ignore his outrageous claim. Sleep peacefully at night! Best Wishes!!

- Response by A Creative, Female, 36-45, Artist / Musician / Writer

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what about the other way around??? I really really like this amazing woman and I love spending time with her, but I don't sense the same feelings from her. So... I didn't call call her or see her for months so that she goes out with other guys and maybe finds a guy that she really likes - I was suffering / believe me, it has been a true effort. Still, the other day i texted her a not and told her I missed her alooot. A few days later she texted me back that 'sorry she didn't text back earlier...and what I have been upto.' I feel soooo confused, I really would like her to be the owman of my life, but I don't want her to settle for a guy she doesn't truly want to be with. So, like an idiot of a guy I told her that 'i don't believe i'm good enough for her and don't want to waste her time' because I care about her. Am I doing the right thing????

- Response by stefanomaldini, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 29-35

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