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Active Questions

Why am i attracted to losers
Dating / 4:26 AM - Sunday June 14, 2009

why am i attracted to losers

So ever since i got out of high school and started college in the city (akron)ive found myself trying to get with these guys that are really not good for me. Ya know the drug dealing...been in and out of jail...broke type. i dunno why i am attracted to these types of men? i guesss i really like the "badass" type/ know the ones with the tattoos and all that. Im only 21. Ill usually try and find guys between like 25-35 but, usually these guys are no good and dont treat me the right way. why the hell do i do this to myself?? I know the guys that i meet will never make good boyfriends... it just seems like if a guy doesnt fit into my little badass appeal then i dont even consider him. i feel bad. and its been happening alot latley. is this a phase or something? this one dude im currently hooking up with is 32 and hes been in and out of jail a total of like 8yrs since 18 years old and hes got like 15 felonies, tattoos all over all that lol. but im super attracted to him and like him alot....but hell never be relationship material....some advice?

- Asked by nofxroxx34, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 26-28

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"Women Addicted to Sociopaths"
It's mostly a phase. I call it an evolutionary holdover, from when we generally didn't live past age thirty. Women had to pick the most-obviously dominant males for partners, and make the choice in five minutes-- or less.
Plenty of young women still do this, but they wind up paying for their stupidity for the rest of their lives. They wind up looking for convenient Nice Guys to take over the absentee fathering.
Lots of women take YEARS to finally break free of this habit, but it requires a total break from being involved with men, while you reclaim your own lives.
Too many women I've known NEVER come back to start over-- they simply call it quits with men, and spend their lives alone, surrounded by supportive women-friends.
We have a name for these women-- "Victim Chicks", being mostly victims of their own bad judgement and crappy self esteem.
You can read more about this, search online for "Women Addicted To Sociopaths".

- Response by chesterdad, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 66 or older, San Francisco

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My lady you are 21 and havnet lived life yet and you need to be very careful of who you see and date because people will judge you by the company you keep and if you are innocent you will be precieved not to be any more, Your selection of men is way off and the types you find are dangerous, why would a 32 y/o man want with a 21 Y/O?? My lady stay away from thes type or you will become something that later in life you will come to hate. Prison is not the place I see myself in years to come ? How about you?"?

- Response by ptawillis, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Medical / Dental

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I suspect you don't have a healthy self esteem. You don't think you deserve any better, possibly? Maybe you are still rebelling against bad parenting. Even you Avatar pic screams you want a nasty boy. So, that is who you will attract.

- Response by sincerity, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Atlanta

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Find a comfortable medium.... the edgy type that treats you well and handles his business.

- Response by king313, A Rebel, Male, 29-35, Detroit, Technical

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WOW I certainly think you need to reevaluate what you want in a guy. You are going to school so is there any school groups that maybe you can meet somebody who is not a thug?

Odds are the 30 year old guys that are dating you just want sex. Sorry but it's true.

You need to find a guy who is in the same stage of his life as you. At 21 a 35 year old guy doesn't have much in common with you. Maybe in 10-15 years a with that same age difference would be just fine.

You are still trying to figure out who you are. The badass thug type of guys are going to be nothing but trouble.

Good luck

- Response by usarmy24id, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 36-45, Celebrity

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You are attracted to losers because you have very low self-esteem.

So the real question is, why don't you like yourself?

- Response by A Rebel, Male, 46-55, Las Vegas, Celebrity

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