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He is almost perfect but financially unstable...
Dating / 3:53 AM - Friday June 12, 2009

He is almost perfect but financially unstable...

My boyfriend treats me very well and loves me very much. He makes me feel loved, respected and important all the time. But he has no good job, he has been doing successful business few years back and he was financially broke when i met him. I have been helping him financially and he is trying his best to improve his situation. Now, he has a very low paying job not even enough for himself. We are planning that he move to the city where i live to get better opportunities. But I am so scared basically of everything. What if he cant find a job? What if he can but the salary would be too low? What should I do? I also dont want to leave him for i love him and he loves me but what if... I dont want to end up supporting him the rest of my life. How long should I wait for him to become stable? Considering my age, I already want to get married. And if he still cant be stable after a year or two, should I leave him? is that fair? I might not find a love like he is giving me but i also dont want to live in a financial stress.. Pls dont think that I am just after the money. i have a good job and can support myself. i am talking about building a family and all the financial responsibilities that goes with it.. Help pls... I need some advice.Thank you!

- Asked by A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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i don't understand y u think in this way, to give u one example of myself, I am the only one earning and supporting my whole family and trust me sometime when I am having bad financial time going on, I have nothing at all left for my own expense but I don't mind that at all as taking care of my family is my responsibility, in majority of the world, one man earn and rest of the family eats, so don't take it as a big deal, try to adjust as u say urself that he is trying hard and he was fine b4 u met him, he is having a bad times and know this for sure, time never stays the same, if his good time didn't stay there for ever, his bad time wont b there for good.
As u say how much he loves u etc then he is not the one to lose on any cost, just look around u will find so many people who have no financial problem but don't have loving partner, u would prefer that life instead? Then just b calm and have him with u for good, when time is good, get married and don't fear at all for future as u say he is a good guy, God will help him, as God help those who help them selves.
Wish u wisdom and luck.



- Response by mani99, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Glasgow

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Why are you supporting this man financially? It sounds as if he's a leech of some sort.How long have you been dating? If it's been under a year and you already have to support him them its time for you to make the decision to leave him. You're not getting any younger.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Artist / Musician / Writer

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You say that he was doing successful business a few years back. Many folks have experienced all time financial lows in this economy. Is your boyfriend on of them? Does he have a good work ethic, but is struggling in this job market? Those would be the things I would be looking at, as the tides will turn again, as they always do.

A good love is a precious thing. Look at the whole picture, not just today. I wish you all the very best. :)

- Response by mamom04, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 56-65, Phoenix

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I do not view this as a situation where a woman is looking for a man with money.

You have a man that you are IN LOVE with you has NO MONEY and no apparent hope for money in the future.

I am looking at your age bracket and I read all that you wrote, very carefully.

My advice is this: If you are not prepared to totally support this man for the rest of YOUR life, then stop it now. Nothing is going to magically change. If he has nothing positive started by his age, then he is going NOWHERE. He is where he will be in ten years.

There is an old saying that many young people scoff at: You cannot live on LOVE alone.

Well, they may say it is old and stupid; but it is VERY TRUE. It takes more than LOVE to get married; have children; and create a life with someone.

If you can do all of that with ONLY your salary and you are willing to do that, then GO FOR IT!

But, my advice, from my experience, would tell you to not let him move into your city and even BEGIN THAT FARCE. All it will do it bring him closer to you physically and make you feel even more financial responsibillity for him and his general welfare.

Your thinking is ON THE RIGHT TRACK. Please do not RE-think this. You already have the right answers. You KNOW what you need to do. Don't let your heart get in the way and screw up your entire future! I say this with all the caring I can muster. This will not improve and he will not change. :(

- Response by randyl, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Los Angeles, Who Cares?

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run as fast as you can, I had 37 yrsof this till in dispair i walked out. The day I got my divOrce felt as if a blaCKSMITHS ANVIL HAVE BEEN LIFTED FROM MY SHOULDERS RUN NOW GIRL RUN RUN RUN.

- Response by duggers, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older

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From experience...I would have to believe her but if you don't have prrof just wait and see what happens or confront both of them.

- Response by marycherry, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Fitness

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