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Should you automatically trust ur partner or should it be earned?
Dating / 9:35 AM - Thursday June 11, 2009

should you automatically trust ur partner or should it be earned?

my boyfriend says he trusts me ever since we got together but i dont believe in that i belive in earning that trust what do u think ? (OH I'M NOT CHEATING OR ANY THING )

- Asked by A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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I believe that everyone should start off with a clean slate. Leave all the past bull in the past. Trust is lost or increased based on what actually goes on in the relationship for me.

- Response by anonymouspersona, A Hippie Chick, Female, 26-28, Miami, Administrative

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If you are with someone that trusts you until you break it, and you believe trust needs to be earned, you are saying that you don't trust them until the prove they are trustworthy. At what point do you decide you do? How exactly does one earn trust? Are we not innocent until proven guilty? How can a relationship work when you love someone but presume them guilty until they prove their innocence? How does one set about proving that they do not cheat, proving that they do not lie? wouldn't it be better to take what this person you care about says and does at face value until they give you a reason not to trust them?

- Response by robyn76, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Community Rating: Community Star

If you are together and you have done nothing to make him doubt, why should he mistrust you?

- Response by wallvis, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 66 or older, Retired

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I like to believe that most people are good and have good intentions thus they have my trust until they do something to make me question it. Of course this doesn't mean that I blindly trust any stranger that comes along, but for the most part unless they seem shady from the get go I have no reason not to trust them. They aren't guilty until proven innocent!

- Response by kdtxchic30, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Yes trust must be earned.

- Response by lifestyle, A Father Figure, Male, 56-65, Houston

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Some people trust everyone until that trust is broken but others need to have someone earn their trust. Just different personalities. Rosey

- Response by roseytalks, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Tampa, Who Cares?

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Sure, you have to earn trust, but the beauty of trust is that it is giving a person the benefit of the doubt and sending the message that you are willing to be open to them and take a chance. So if you are with someone, unless they have given you a reason to distrust, then give them that trust if you love them and believe in them... If you don't then your relationships are going to be guarded, feel guarded and you will never develop true intimacy...Isn't life wonderful?
So..."Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will; to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield"

- Response by timeforanoverhaul, A Father Figure, Male, 36-45, Managerial

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I think you should trust your partner....but if you have REASON not to...then...there you go.

- Response by divatoonami, A Trendsetter, Female, 36-45, Administrative

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I personally think that TRUST should be owned. At the beginning of the relationship u should award that person with a percentage of trust, example every them 45% and during the course of the relationship either they earn more or u minus some.

- Response by Sexyilious, A Trendsetter, Female, 22-25, Student

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its common sense that trust is earned, but in any new relationship a certain amount of trust must automatically be given otherwise you will inadvertantly sabatash the relationship

i mean i would not want to be around or love someone who doesn't trust me, would you?

and earning trust is one thing, you make it sound like he has to jump through hoops to prove himself to you, no person wants to do that,

also, your way of thinking, you will never have complete trust in him

either way, you are setting youself up for a negative burn on your relationship

"oh if you prove yourself to me, then i will trust you a bit, and you have to keep proving yourself"

just like

"come on boy, theres a good dog, come on and i will pet you, come on puppy"

you have to do both, give it and earn it, but after a couple of months the earning part should be dieing away

aloha

- Response by beautifulloser, A Rebel, Male, 36-45, Detroit, Executive

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