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My boyfriend says he loves me, but is not "in love" w/me after 8 months. What should I do?
Dating / 9:08 PM - Saturday June 06, 2009

My boyfriend says he loves me, but is not "in love" w/me after 8 months. What should I do?

He said he loved me, but I told him that I think he loves me but he's not "in love" w/me. He said that it's correct, but that he is closer to being in love w/me than he ever was in prior relationships (he's 31 and has had 2 prior 4 year gf's). He also told me months ago that he's never been in love, and that he was in love w/getting married.. just not to any of his exes.

He said "you're not in love w/me are you?" I said "no, because I keep holding myself back". He replied with "I'm not a bad person, just let it happen."

How would you react to this after being with someone for 8 months?

- Asked by antltd, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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that's 8 months. if he's not yet in love with you yet, i doubt if he ever will be. not that you're not ok. you are wonderful and you deserve to be with someone who is in love with you.

so, to begin finding that person whom you truly deserve, you have to leave this one.

- Response by A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, New York, Administrative

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Dump him. "I love you, but am not in love with you"? So, what, you're the equivalent of his mom? Except he's having sex with you? LOOOOSER.

- Response by istillhatescreennames, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 66 or older

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Either stay with him or go find someone who will commit.

- Response by lifestyle, A Father Figure, Male, 56-65, Houston

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Some men, indeed some people cannot love another. He may care deeply, but not let himself go further. I would not waste my youth or my body and emotions over someone with those limitations.

- Response by nysbikergirl, An Alternative Girl, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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Let it happen, and if you're still not in love with each other in another month or two, call it quits and move on.


- Response by uniquelyme2, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Artist / Musician / Writer

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he's using that as an excuse. lots of guys do.
I think my reaction would be to let him go, so he can find who he really loves.

- Response by nursefromky, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Medical / Dental

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