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Do Men Really Marry For Convenience?
Married Life / 10:18 AM - Sunday May 31, 2009

Do Men Really Marry For Convenience?

I am asking this question because I overheard three guys talking at a restaurant table next to mine last night. They flatly stated that men marry for CONVENIENCE (extra income, someone to do maid duty, chef duty, mom duties, and regular-booty-duty) and that women marry for LOVE.

Today I got on the phone and asked a few of my male friends, clients and coworkers who got married within the last year if they were "in love" with their bride - just to test what I heard last night. Amazingly, only 4 out of 17 said yes!

I was shocked! I don't want to go into great detail about what they said WERE their reasons for marrying, but wanted to get your take... do you agree that the majority of men marry primarily for convenience?

- Asked by msheartbeat, A Trendsetter, Female, 36-45, San Francisco, Self-Employed

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I think I do tend to agree with this. One time a friend and neighbor of ours was about to get married, and the one thing that stood out to me when he was talking about his future wife was not how much he loved her or anything of that nature but how she would take good care of him.
And have you ever noticed that when a man marry's he automaticly forgets how to pick up after himself, wash clothes or dishes, cook, etc. They most often seem to sit on their booty watching tv, playing video games or on the internet while the wife has to do all the home duties including kids if there are any and let not mention also working outside the home. When you get right down to it, why do women need men anyway?

- Response by mysticdream44, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 56-65, Who Cares?

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i believe that most men do. they want someone who is going to be there and take care of them.

- Response by busyb704, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Other Profession

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I think once you get to a certain age and your standards drop, you're older and not one to weather stress as well... it's a bonus to have a spouse around to take care of (at least) half of life's little problems / chores.

I think we all have ideals about many things when we're younger.. then reality sets in. Marriage is about living with someone all the time and you get quite familiar and used to this person, so it's easy to start taking them for granted and just "settle in".

One thing you mentioned stuck out though, the part about men wanting a maid. No woman has the illusion her husband will be the maid, am I right? There's still that old stereotype and it seems like wives become a substitute mother to their husbands.

One of the top reasons I'm not in any hurry to get married. I've had a few long-term relationships and they ended because they seemed just the type that would fall into that category and I did not want a marriage like that.

So to answer your question, I'm not sure if it's the personality of the guy (independent / dependent).. or just something that happens regardless.

I think men need to grow up more and women need to demand more.

- Response by snafu, A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, Toronto, Financial / Banking

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I CAN`T SPEAK FOR ALL MEN BUT I MARRIED THREE TIMES FOR LOVE
AND THEY ALL FOUND SOMEONE ELSE TO SLEEP WITH. IF MEN MARRY
FOR CONVENIENCE THEY SHOULD. LOVE IS TO FRAGILE.

- Response by tnj22, A Couch Potato, Male, 66 or older, Phoenix, Self-Employed

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Since I had been married, I've always said that all my ex wanted from me was an income supplementer and a procreater. (and my father has said he thinks my ex wanted to marry "up")
I felt empty and unloved the majority of the time.
So yes, I do think the many men do that. Really makes you want to get married again or even live with someone, doesn't it.

- Response by A Creative, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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Most people marry or settle down for convenience. Women are just better at lying to themselves about it.

- Response by ohwell321, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Student

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Wow, that is flabbergasting news!!! I, for one, would love to hear what the other reasons given. I would not have said that I believed for one minute a man marries for convenience.

- Response by englishrose4945, A Life of the Party, Female, 66 or older, Miami, Alternative Medicine

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Yes - men do marry for love but most men marry for convenience with the mentality that settling down is only when he can't readily get any.

- Response by lom2009, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55

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I wouldn't be at all surprised. We've turned into a consumer society. A wife to many would just be another piece of merchandise with various uses.

- Response by stoney07, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 66 or older, Who Cares?

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I wouldn't doubt it, from looking at the wives I see around here.
My last involvement ended partly because I didn't hold back from expressing my feelings about her. I loved her! She just thought about the ugly divorce she's going through.

- Response by chesterdad, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, San Francisco

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then perhaps women should stop being servents then those guys would be weeded out.

- Response by beanielou, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Halifax, Who Cares?

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Wow!!!! I could be married tomarrow if I want to be... but I want to be married to someone I love, and who loves me too. I'm sorry I find this guestion really distasteful to honest loving men, and myself. But I'm sure there are men out there that are as you speak...users!

- Response by loseing, A Guy Critical, Male, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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women do this as well...

what's love got to do with it? (Tina Turner in the background)..

after the honeymoon syndrome has worn off...and reality kicks in...the love will wear off real quik if he/she doesn't have a job...doesn't want to work...has no potential to better theirself, has no realistic view of what it takes to survive...

but hey...they may not be able to live a decent life, but they've got loooove....

let's get back to reality...shall we...



- Response by sushihoney, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Las Vegas, Other Profession

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this would make an extremely interesting study and article

I think people marry for love originally but quickly realize what a delusion that was when reality of how hard it is to live with people and survive really is....

- Response by meowmeowww, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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I have to tell you - I feel true love is a rare thing. I used to be pretty naive but now realize most people have an agenda and it's almost like a game to a lot of people. I know a few people who are genuine - my parents marriage, a close friends dad and her step-mom, but it is rare. I am holding out that someday I will find a good guy but I have met many that had me fooled for a while til they showed their real colors. It's tough today, a lot of people are superfisical, money hungry or just plain old selfish.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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I don't believe men marry for convenience because they don't have to. They can shack up for convenience and they do. Rosey

- Response by roseytalks, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Tampa, Who Cares?

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i think this is pretty much true. Ive had similar questions with guy friends of mine.Several of them have said to me that they married the woman they were married to because their wives would make good mothers, good budgeters and things like that. A friend of mine who recently got married I know for a fact that he married his wife becasue she's been in his corner. i don't doubt that he loves her but i also know that they were breaking up a few months before they got married.So yeah i think he married her becasue she makes more money then him.

so i'd have to say i agree pretty much.

- Response by phenomenal1woman, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Chicago

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Both sexes marry for convenience. Not everyone of course, but there are people who do.

- Response by trufflet, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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give it about a "year"... :0/

- Response by osieboo, A Thinker, Female, 56-65

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Many more women marry for convenience than men.
Reasons..
Clock is Ticking
Financial
"I'll eventually fall in love with him"

- Response by fishdude, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Calgary

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