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My husband's ex wife still has his last name..is this legal?
Married Life / 4:19 PM - Friday May 29, 2009

My husband's ex wife still has his last name..is this legal?

I hate it that she still has his last name...the bitch left him for another man, had a baby, and then wanted to go back with my husband...He never took her back and after years of being divorced I came in the picture. It has been like 7 years since there divorce and she still has his last name. He has already told her to change it but she claims she has no money for it...BITCH!!!

Update: June 01, 2009.
How can it be legal when that was one of the agreements in the divorce decree? If she already receive the money and she signed as an agreement...how can it be legal? For those of your who choose to call me name...thank you...it will all go back to you...I am a good person who dislike a women...that by the way in the weekend decided to crash into my car....YEAH and she deserves the last name....

Update: May 29, 2009.
She doesn't deserve keeping the last name, she was a bad wife who cheated on him on every opportunity possible. I live in a town where my husband is the Mayor of the city...and people here think that she is still his wife..just because of the last name. I know that this is the only reason she doesn't change it...Even though its me the one who is married to him and I know he loves me, I just want to be the only Mrs.....

- Asked by Female, 29-35

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My mom and dad got divorced over 10 years ago and she still has the last name...she kept it because it is easier to remember and spell then her maiden name.

- Response by dirtyperv, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, St.Louis, Other Profession

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wow... chill out.

yes it's legal and maybe she is broke. if it bothers you THAT much, then hook her up with the dough, and help her get it changed back... if you're not willing to do that, then... maybe try to focus on something more important. your husband obviously loves you and not her... so there's nothing for you to worry about.

- Response by miniestcooper, A Sportif, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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yes it is legal...when you get divorced the wife gets the option of keeping his name or returning to her maiden name...if there are children involved usually the woman will keep it to have the same as the children. It's not a big deal...if she gets married again it will be changed unless she wants to keep it and just add the new one on.

- Response by lasttrueromantic, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Teaching

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It is legal and unfortunate. I still have my ex husbands last name because he did not tell his lawyer to put it in the divorce decree. I told the bastard it was all I wanted. So now I have to pay a lawyer to help me change it and go through all that BS. I don't want his f ing last name but am stuck with it till I can flush a few hundred dollars down the toilet to get it changed. Why would anyone want to keep their ex's last name. She should MOVE ON! Or you could think of it like this....a name is just a name. EX's suck!!!!!!

- Response by butforthegrace, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Houston

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This is legal. My ex-wife still has mine, although I tried to get her to change it back to her maiden name.

- Response by wudaddy, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 29-35, Dallas, Law Enforcement

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Making the decision to go back to your maiden name after a divorce is optional. She chose not to. So did I. Besides, what's in a name, anyway? The important thing is that the divorce is final and they're no longer married.

- Response by sxybtch25, A Sportif, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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If she hasn't remarried it is still her name unless she pays to change it. Sorry.

- Response by rexy67, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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It's legal, and should be no big deal. They are divorced.

- Response by nursefromky, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Medical / Dental

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yes it is legal. It is her legal name once she married your husband and it is her option whether to change back to her maiden name or not. Sometimes if there are children involved the wife doesn't want the children to explain why she has a different name then she does. And if you want it so bad have him pay for it...Rosey

- Response by roseytalks, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Tampa, Who Cares?

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yes it is legal. It is her legal name once she married your husband and it is her option whether to change back to her maiden name or not. Sometimes if there are children involved the wife doesn't want the children to explain why she has a different name then she does. And if you want it so bad have him pay for it...Rosey

- Response by roseytalks, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Tampa, Who Cares?

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I still have the EX's last name... I earned it and I'm gonna keep it, just to piss of his future girlfriends & wives...

- Response by nicolegillenwater, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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She can keep it forever if she chooses. He can't tell her what to do with her last name. I suggest you and your husband get over it. Why either of you would give a flying shit after seven years is beyond me. Lots of people have the same last name. Who cares?

- Response by southjerseygirl, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Administrative

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It legal, she can name herself bozo the clown legally if she wants to. I don't think it costs much if anything to do. Maybe find out what it is and offer her the cash on the condition she changes it. Get it in writting

- Response by newnumbersguy32, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Financial / Banking

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Yes it is legal, at least until she marry's again. He can't make her change it and she doesn't have to if she doesn't want to. And what is it to you anyway? They've been divorced for years before you came into the picture and unless she has kids with him there is no reason for you or for him to have any contact with her. She has his last name, so get over it!! Calling names just because she still has his last name is juvenile.

- Response by mysticdream44, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 56-65, Who Cares?

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Once a person has been married and is use to the last name they can keep it after a divorce. Often that is how they are known in business etc. I kept my married name after divorce so as to still have the same last name as my children.
It is this woman's legal name, why does it bother you so much? Look in the phone book, I'd bet there are plenty of people with that last name.
By the way, it doesn't cost any extra money during a divorce to ask for your maiden name back.
I am sure people in your town know you are his wife now if he is a mayor in the spotlight.
She really doesn't have to change her last name.

- Response by cathymd50, A Creative, Female, 56-65, Administrative

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See I was married 20 years ago, and I did not want to take on my husbands name. I like my own last name. But nobody knew the difference...and considered me to have his last name. Unfortunatly after a while we separated then divorced and thankfully i did not have to worry about getting my maiden name back lol

- Response by wasaga, Female, 46-55, Toronto, Self-Employed

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My ex-wife still has my last name but we have children too. It's not illegal for her to keep his last name. Apparently she wanted to keep it or she would have requested to have it put in the divorce papers that she could change her name back to her maiden/previous name. Hope this helps.

- Response by divorced33guy, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45

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My boyfriend's mom divorced her husband and they were on BAD terms. He cheater on her and they hate each other. But she still has his last name. I suppose it's just too much trouble to change it back, you get used to it after a while, and mostly because it matches her kid's last names.

I understand why it makes you upset, though, if she still wants to be seen as his wife.

- Response by mousepad, A Creative, Female, 26-28, Student

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My mom divorced my dad when i was three and she still has his last name.

- Response by carolcarr, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Tampa

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how much will she have to pay to change it?

- Response by osieboo, A Thinker, Female, 56-65

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Sorry to say but it is legal...my sister kept her husband's name when they divorced and ended up changing her name back and it cost her close to $300 to change it because you have to change your birth certificate, your driver's license, and anything else that one changes when they marry...it took her about 7 years to change her name back and to this day(10 years later), she still gets some of her mail with her married name...might be why the ex says she has no money for it because it will cost a lot to change it back...you're the one married to your man and he has told her to change it so all you can really do is wait for her to pay for it...unless you or your husband want to help her...:D

- Response by fastball, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Edmonton, Self-Employed

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It's legal. Most people who matters know who he's married to. There's nothing that you or your husband can do to make her change her name. When he married her, he asked her to take his name. She legally changed it and would probably create a disruption in her and their children's lives if she changed it. Just accept what is and get over it. You or your husband don't have the power.

My mother was the first of my father's 4 wives. Only one got remarried, but all of them died with his last name. Why they kept the name is beyond me other than the reasons I gave earlier.

I think that I answered this same question awhile ago. Just tell your husband to get over it. He can ask, but not make her do anything about the name.

- Response by rhunt0210, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Other Profession

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It is, like everyone has said, legal- unfortunately. My guy's exwife still has his last name. She absolutely REFUSED to change it back. She said it was the only thing she had in common with the kids. Seriously?! You POPPED them out of you but all you have in common w/ them is your last name?! Needless to say, it's a year later and of course she's not going to fork out her own money to change it back. God forbid she actually be a decent human being and spend her own money...

- Response by tinkusmc17, A Sportif, Female, 29-35, Military

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Let it go...you are the CURRENT Mrs. So and SO so don't worry about things you cannot control...and trust me if the ex knows this bothers you to this degree the name will never be changed...rise above it and be the honorable mayor's honorable wife.

- Response by clip22, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Executive

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My mother kept my father's last name when they divorced. She only kept the name since she and my father had 3 children, and spent 20 years together. Since the divorce, my father has remarried, and both my mother and my step mother have the same last name. The reasons for your husband's ex keeping the last name are beyond me. Good luck.

- Response by ratbrat98, A Creative, Female, 29-35, Student

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I don't agree with most of you idiots. If a man gives a woman his last name because they vow to spend the rest of their lives together and then for some reason they get a divorce he should get his last name back. Just an opinion, obviously that is not the law for some stupid reason.

- Response by A Hippie Chick, Female, 26-28

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I was married for 19 years and never changed my last name because my children were young at the time. I was told that it hurts your credit becuase 99% of my credit is in my married last name, not sure about that. I don't care that he remarried or how she may feel. We have over 24 yrs togehter plus children. I will keep his last until I marry or die which ever comes first.

- Response by A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Los Angeles, Administrative

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Well, unfortunately, you can't make her change the name, even though she is probably running it to the ground. We politely asked my husbands adulterous ex-wife to revert back to her maiden name because our names are too similar and it's causing confusion with banks and benefits, but she has ignored the request. So I say, if walking around with the last name of the man she cheated on (while he was deployed with the military) is so important, keep it. There is only one wife here, and that's me. He doesn't care one bit about her, he considers her a liar and a cheat, the child they created is the only part of that relationship that he doesn't regret. That's where his loyalties are. If a short, heavy set, dark complected Portuguese woman wants to carry his Irish last name, let her deal with the mismatch... Eventually, she might move on and remarry and we hope that will help the situation. Hang in there, some exes just take a while to get their crap together....

- Response by missizlove2010, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Administrative

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I think once you get divorce you should go back to your maiden name. How do you think your future boyfriendss will feel to date you with a his Last name. The one way I say it's ok , if you have young kids like 12 and under that won't understand

- Response by An Engaged Girl, Female, 36-45

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Yah... Well, it may be legal. I get that... However, my husband's ex (he does have two children with her) still has my husband's last name. The catch is that she was remarried SINCE my husband and her were married. She took the NEW husband's last name. Then, because she OBVIOUSLY has problems keeping marriages together, her and husband #2 divorced. So what does she do? She drops husband #2's name and takes my husband's again!! Please help me. I feel like if we offer some real advice (which my husband and I both want her to change it). He can't stand that she carries his name around. Her reputation isn't the best and we live in a small town.. When we asked her to change it before, she said she couldn't because of the kids. The kids have said to us (unsolicited) why do you AND our mom have the same last name? Um, I have it because I'm married to your father. She has it because she is hanging on to something that isn't there.

- Response by A Life of the Party, Female, 36-45, San Antonio

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The exact same thing is happening to me. She still has his last name eventhough she left him to live with other men and have children from 2 different men. It makes me think these women are pathetic and don't want to move on by still holding on to their ex-husbands name. (Only the women who have children from various men and keep their exs name). Makes me sick, I want to pay to have her change it but she is so lazy she won't even get up to get it done.

- Response by namescarf74, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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I want to share my testimony on how i was able to get back my husband last few months and with the help of Dr Ekaka because my man left me for over 3years and went on with another lady and i was unable to move on with my life because of the love i have for him last month i saw a testimony on the internet on how Dr Ekaka help someone with love spell so i never believe it but just have to try my faith which i did and i contacted him on his email: xxxxxxxxxx and he told me what i need to do and after 2days i received a call from my husband asking me to come back to him it was all like a dream to me i am so happy now as we are back together again thanks to Dr Ekaka and i will advice anyone in need of help to contact him.

- Response by jenneifer12, A Married Girl, Female, 36-45

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I want to share my testimony on how i was able to get back my husband last few months and with the help of Dr Ekaka because my man left me for over 3years and went on with another lady and i was unable to move on with my life because of the love i have for him last month i saw a testimony on the internet on how Dr Ekaka help someone with love spell so i never believe it but just have to try my faith which i did and i contacted him on his email: ekakaspelltemple yahoo com and he told me what i need to do and after 2days i received a call from my husband asking me to come back to him it was all like a dream to me i am so happy now as we are back together again thanks to Dr Ekaka and i will advice anyone in need of help to contact him.

- Response by jenneifer12, A Married Girl, Female, 36-45

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She doesn't have to change it. Ever. There is no law that says if you get a divorce you have to change your last name from your ex-husbands, just like there isn't one that says if you get married you have to change it to your new husbands! If they had children together especially most women like to keep the same name as their kids.

But really, if he wants her to change it so damn bad, he needs to get off his butt and write a check and pay the legal fees! Then neither one of you can complain.

- Response by msheartbeat, A Trendsetter, Female, 46-55, San Francisco, Self-Employed

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Grow up! So your not the only mrs, and this matters because why? So she kept his last name, your telling us your side and his side, who knows what her side would be. Not saying your lying but there is always 3 sides to a story, his side, her side and the truth.

Be thankful he is divorced and CAN marry you...be mature enough to show more manners, more dignity, friendliness, carry yourself with style and grace...stop being petulant.

- Response by greysorrel, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Medical / Dental

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you're a mayors wife?...what's the population of the city? 10?

yes of course she can keep his name...and has every right to it.....

there's always two sides to a story...she could have had a very good reason why she left him..

First, you would think the wife of a mayor would be a bit more graceful and classy than to post a hateful post such as this one...to even go as far as calling her a bitch?...geesh....

I can only imagine why he married you...you sound like the wicked witch of the ( what ever city you're in)...

Not only that....you would think a mayor's wife would be educated enough to know the answer to a very simple question...

of which is...bottom line...yes...she can keep that name forever if she wants to...

it's too bad that small of an issue has ruffled your feathers...it really shouldn't bother you at all.....

you should be more concerned about how you come off to people and the image you set for yourself and your mayor...

- Response by sushihoney, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Las Vegas, Other Profession

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What?
I stil have my married name. It is my legal name, I dont give no F@#k about him or his wife! If I wanted him I would have kept him. Once I signed papers and payed for a wedding it became my legal name. I too had the option to change it and still can, but why??? I had it before her anyway...I'm not mad, she is his wife and I'm not. Either of us care...wtf!
He doesn't own this name, it's lots of people with this name, when I sign my name, believe me, he doesn't come to mind. I like my name and I'm keeping it. You sound overwhelmingly insecure to me!!

- Response by sweetko, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Administrative

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