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Why doesn't my boyfriend want to talk to me?
Dating / 10:47 AM - Tuesday May 26, 2009

Why doesn't my boyfriend want to talk to me?

My boyfriend and I have been together for over two years, and we have a lot of fun together. Lately though I've been feeling differently about him, and I'm not sure what to do about it. We don't have much alone time, we usually go out in big groups, and when we are alone, he is on his computer working or doing school work (he's getting his MBA). We just don't have much to talk about one on one, but he isn't a chatty guy in general. Is this normal? I love him and want to be with him, but it's hard when we don't really have meaningful conversations about anything. But I've been worried about this with all my past boyfriends too--maybe it's just me? I constantly worry about what we're going to talk about at dinner, etc, and I just don't know how to make it go away. Any thoughts you have would be greatly appreciated...

- Asked by Female, Who Cares?

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It's not that he doesn't want to talk to you, but, after two years, you've probably exhausted most of the new and original pieces, and now it's down to the daily hum-drum of life. It's actually very typical of all relationships that the conversations slowly dry up. Also, he's probably under a lot of stress. It doesn't mean he's out finding other people to talk to, it's just that there's not so much to talk about anymore.

- Response by doom2ruler, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Technical

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Stop worrying! He sounds like a busy fella! Find some stuff to do that you love and are passionate about WITHOUT HIM. After a while you will have so much to talk about because you will be fulfilling the need for confirmation all by yourself, not with the help of some guy! Get out there and get some hobbies girl!

- Response by rmhorath, A Hippie Chick, Female, 29-35

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One of the good things about a long term relationship is that you really shouldn't have to worry about being silent together.

After two years, he probably feels comfortable enough with you that just being together without talking feels comfortable.

So if you're worried about this, then yes... I'd have to say that this is *your* issue, and not necessarily a problem in the relationship.

If you need more alone time together, then do that. Plan some dates with just the two of you. I'm sure it will be fine. Just don't worry so much about the fact that when you're hanging out together at home, you're not always having "meaningful conversations". This is normal.

- Response by piscesrising, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Boston, Internet / New Media

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What you might be experiencing is the loss of the relationships initial spark. Don't worry, this doesn't mean the relationship is over! You just need to relax a bit and understand that this is perfectly normal. If he has been with you for two year then he must love you and find you interesting. You don't need to always be able to have in depth conversations...

But if you are NEVER having any meaningful conversations then I suggest you talk to him about it. The best way to spark a conversation is an outing, so maybe if you two were to go out and spend some time together doing something fun (theme park, camping, swimming), this would help spark a conversation later!

Good luck!!

- Response by sunnydelight33, A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Montreal, Other Profession

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What are you doing when you are not with your man? Is it something interesting? What are you doing that you would like to share with him? Do you show any interest in his studies? Make your life interesting enough to share with him and stop waiting for him to share his life with you. Become who you want to be and quit worrying about impressing someone else. It seems as though your self-esteem needs a little boosting. Believe it or not, most men Love women they respect and respect women who respect themselves. The key to a successful relationship is to make sure you like the person you're involved with. I said "like" not love or care for or adore or anything that forces your heart to make a committment to even though it's not good for you. Make sure he likes you also. Have you ever noticed that you call the people you like when the people you love disappoint you? Sometimes it's OK to just admire another person, it doesn't mean you have to share your entire life with them. Sometimes a good friend makes a lousy lover or a lousy lover makes the best friend. Start out with friendship and move your way up. I think that's what your boyfriend is trying to tell you!!!

- Response by boobie, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 56-65, Denver, Retired

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I would stop stressing he can most likely tell that you have alot on you mind and does want add to it. Don't stress about what you will talk about in the futrue, just be yourself and the right conversation will come up at the right time. Trust me I was stressing about if my boyfriend and I would ever talk about something major in mt life and I would always try and bring it up it just wouldn't happen but when I was even trying to bring it up it came up and worked out perfectly.
It might also be he has alot on his mind and does know where to start talking so just let him know throught actions that you love him and will try your hardest to help him with what ever is bothering him. Hope this helps-Good Luck

- Response by ladedamnda, A Sportif, Female, 22-25, Denver, Student

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