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My husband keeps hinting that he would like to try a threesome with another woman.
Sex & Intimacy / 11:29 AM - Sunday May 24, 2009

My husband keeps hinting that he would like to try a threesome with another woman.

I am not really sure how I feel about this. I am interested but I am afraid that he would get attached to her or like her better than me. If I decide I don't want to do it how do I get him to stop asking me and hinting at it without starting a fight or seeming like I am just afraid to try something different?

- Asked by brittaneydoyle513, A Trendsetter, Female, 22-25, Home Maker

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It's really cool that you are open to it, and are able to articulate that you are afraid of something without becoming closed to new experiences. For e.g., if this were a request to try anal sex (assumign you haven't yet), I'm getting the sense from you that you'd be enthusiastic about giving it a shot. Since he has been able to discuss this with you, it also means you discuss things like this openly, which is extra points for you.

Now to your question. You have a legit concern. Have clear rules - get an expensive esort, not a friend or a random acquaintance. Its possbile that he would enjoy fucking her more than you, and unless you are ok with it, don't do it. FFM threesomes are about the man, unless one of the women is bisexual. it doesn't mean that he will leave you, or enjoy you less. the fact that he doesn't cheat on you with an escort, and rather would ask your permission, and participation, is a strong indicator that he is unlikely to stop enjoying intimacy with you.

Another thing to ask him is to try MMF threesome next. This will make him face the same fears as you, and ensure that the openness he is asking of you is something he is willing to reciprocate as well :)

- Response by An Intellectual Guy, Male, 26-28, Seattle, Technical

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Ask him how he would feel about a threesome with another man!!See if that still appeals to him!!!Don't do it sweety,,,It will ruin your marriage!!!

- Response by randolph, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 56-65, Artist / Musician / Writer

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What a lot of people mess up in life about is thinking that lust, and love are the same things, or that sex, and making love are actually equals. Now since your husband has suggested opening your marriage to others, and you are afraid that jeolousy might raise it's dirty head then just remember this, the same could very well happen to him when the next threesome happens this time with an extra guy.

Dunkin

- Response by keller, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 56-65, Cleveland, Transportation

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Maybe do it with a stranger someone you know neither of you will see again for the first time

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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well you have obviously been with another girl before..would you feel more comfortable with him just watching you with another girl?Would that be enough for him?

- Response by eagerbeaver, An Alternative Girl, Female, 26-28, Who Cares?

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If you do not want to, tell him and he should respect that. At your age - your marriage can not be that old - you both should concentrate on building a strong relationship and that does not include bringing others into bed. Its very smart of you to be afraid of trying this different, I doubt very much that it will do anything good for you.

- Response by klaxometro, An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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If you don't feel comfortable with it, then you shouldn't do it. If he loves you, he won't pressure you into doing something that you don't want to. No offence, but you are really young to be married and your husband sounds like an immature ass. It really shouldn't be so hard to get him to stop pestering you about it - if you've already told him that you don't like the idea, then he should respect that and stop persisting. His failure to do that truly indicates that he's not the man you think he is.

- Response by heavenonearth27, A Creative, Female, 26-28, Toronto

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Don't do it no matter how much it interests you.
Any hidden jealousies are going to come out, and at your age it's going to set the tone for the rest of what's left of your marriage.
If he can't handle a simple "no" you have bigger problems than anyone here can help you with.

- Response by fastercat, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Indianapolis, Other Profession

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Just be honest -why are you afraid to tell him how you feel? Does he not respect your wishes?

- Response by jillopo, An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35, Dusseldorf, Other Profession

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It's a bad idea just opens the door for more and more! If you don't think your relationship is strong enough keep that door shut!

- Response by babygirlstar81, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35, New York, Self-Employed

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If you want to stop it then tell him you will do a threesome with another woman if he will do one with you and another man. I'm sure that will change his tune.

- Response by A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 29-35, Who Cares?

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