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How do I gain confidence in the bedroom?
Sex & Intimacy / 11:22 AM - Thursday May 21, 2009

How do I gain confidence in the bedroom?

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. I have been in a string of bad relationships before him where there was no "intimacy." There was sex, but no intimacy. I work out a lot, and am pretty confident with my body, but I have very small breasts. I don't feel very comfortable in sexy lingerie because of that. Things like that are made for girls with bigger breasts, and it just looks awkward on me, because the place where your boobs go just kind of hangs there! :) Anyway, it has become a bit of a problem in the bedroom, because my boyfriend wants me to wear things like that and act...for lack of a better word...more slutty in the bedroom. I have explained why I don't feel confident in outfits like that. He said that the times I have worn things like that it has been unattractive because I act "silly" because of a lack of confidence. How am I supposed to achieve this to fulfill his needs? He is a great lover, and I want to be too!

- Asked by fitnessfanatic, Female, 29-35, Teaching

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OHHHH girl!!! I am right there with you!

First- find lingerie that doesn't have actual cups (where huge boobs would fit). I found nighties that have soft cups or stretchy lace that cover the boobs. Those are more of a "one size fits all" approach which works well for small breasts. The worst thing to have is a "cup" reminding you, what is not there!

Second- IF... you trust him with your body, you have no reason to not flaunt it for him. He loves your body! We've been programmed to believe guys only like large breasts. The men on this site will tell you time and time again that they don't care and they like them all! They would rather have small real boobs than large fake ones. I've learned that guys are not looking to see if they are the same size or if your belly has a little fat on it or if your nails are painted when they are having sex with you.

third- the biggest turn on to a guy has nothing to do with your body at all... it's your confidence. Know that your boobs are small but that you love them and they are special to you. They deserve attention and they are one of the spots that connect directly to your hormones!

forth- your body turns him on, show him what all it can do. Guys know that the key is in the nipples not the fat of a boob. If you have nipples, you are good to go!

fifth- he needs to (if not already) remind you of what details he likes about your body. My bf says he wouldn't ever want me to get a boob job. He doesn't care about the size and he loves my nipples and the fact that they are sensitive to his touch. He loves my thighs and ass (which i think are too fat). He's very detailed about why he likes them, that helps me believe that he's honest when he tells me not to change a thing.

This all helps my confidence in the bedroom.

- Response by joent612, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Tampa, Administrative

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Obviouisly HE likes how you look so be confident in that and just go with it.

- Response by newnumbersguy32, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Financial / Banking

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well if you are like me working out gives you this amazing sex drive.... knowing that my body is fit and i'm in good shape just makes it easer....my boobs are small also the price we pay for a small amount of body fat.... so don't think about how you think you look... the guy is excited and has an erection.. so he must like what he sees... so just think about how you are feeling and what you are feeling.....

- Response by coco, A Hippie Chick, Female, 46-55, Charlotte, Technical

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Does your guy pay attention to your breast during sex? if so, you need to get over it. WE/ MEN notice the same shit you do and obviously it doesnt matter to him. Get sexy girl, put on the things he wants and just go with it.

You are the problem, not him. Let go and live and love life.

- Response by handsomedetroitguy, A Father Figure, Male, 36-45, Detroit, Political / Government

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work them boobs!!! obviously he still wants u even if u'r breasts are smaller...it sok theres alot of people with small breasts...jus work wit wat u got...show him u'r wild side girl!!

- Response by bhottl, A Hip Hop Girl, Female, 22-25, Philadelphia, Student

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Go ahead and dress like he askes you to. If he thinks that makes you look sexier then it does. Don't worry about your breast that is not what he is after(If you know what I mean) Just show him a good time in bed and things will work out.
Good luck,
Lou

- Response by louweather95, Female, 66 or older, Charlotte

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