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My bestfriends husband keeps hitting on me. what should i do???
Dating / 8:17 PM - Wednesday May 20, 2009

My bestfriends husband keeps hitting on me. what should i do???

my friend and her husband have been married for 1 and half years and for most of the time he has hit on me constantly. i mean i dont know whats gotten in to him, he never behaved this way when they were dating or engaged. its so bad i cant even go to their house if shes not there just so i dont accidently meet him there because i dont know what will happen. i dont encourage him i swear. i have done everything possible to put him off. its just my friend "jen" can be very jealous when it comes to her husband and i dont know how to tell her and not lose her friendship. he is so crazy that if i take a guy over there for dinner, he will call me the later that night to ask me about the guy but i just hang up the phone. one time he called back and asked me why i had to make things so "dificult", i didnt even anwser i just hung up. i now have a boyfriend and its getting too much, i mean i cant have my boyfriend and my bestfriend having dinner in the living room and him trying to feel up my ass in the kitchen. pretty much hes a leech. i have spoke to one of our other firends and she says that as far as she knows he hasnt hit on on any of our other friends but she has noticed that he does stare at me alot. i have talked to my mom and she says i should tell jen no matter what she might say. i just dont know what to do.

- Asked by A Thinker, Female, 26-28

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It is possible that no matter what you do it will impact your friendship. Don't tell her means you have to avoid going to her house (which you should never go if she has not invited you first and will be there) avoid any events with her that include her husband. Or tell her and risk losing the friendship. The other possible solution is when you are in his presence, when he touches you, you need to call him out on it on the spot and LOUDLY TOO so everyone can hear you and let the chips fall where they may. First, you need to inform your b/f of this so he too can keep an eye on the letch husband so he can confront him if the need arises and then it all comes out in the open.

- Response by msadvise, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Transportation

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Tell her.

- Response by llafsroh, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Boston, Science / Engineering

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You need to record a phone conversation, or get those glasses with a tiny camera in them and catch him in the act and then show your friend. It is quite possible that he could say that you started it, but really, if you saw your husband doing things like this, would you believe him, or your best friend?

- Response by hollywould23, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35, Artist / Musician / Writer

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bring it up to jen in this manner. tell her you have a friend who's husband is hitting on her (and go into details about what he does, but don't alude that its him and you). and you don't know what to do. should you talk to the wife and possibly lose her friendship and cause their marriage to break up, or keep it a secret and just try to deal with the harassment although its eating at her cause she can't continue on for long.

see what she would do, then take her advice. if she wants to know, tell her, then and there. oh, ask her all this stuff in a neutral place, away from the house so the letch won't interrupt you ladies talking. good luck.

- Response by pizzatroll, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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- Response by osieboo, A Thinker, Female, 56-65

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You need to tell her.

And do it right away. If you put this off it will only get worse.

- Response by piscesrising, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Boston, Internet / New Media

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Forget about the friendship. You obviously don't feel right totally leveling with friend, or you'd have done it already. It will probably break up the friendship any way. She may not believe you. Or if she does, she certainly won't want to see you any more. They'll go on, and he'll find someone else, and that person will tell friend, and then eventually, a year from now or 20 years from now, she'll know you weren't lying.

- Response by quikslvr, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, Washington, DC, Farming

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Record a converstaion with him, then make an opprtunity for him to grap your ass again and slab him on teh face. Probably Jan will hear come in and understand. If she has doubts give her the recorder.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Other Profession

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