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My boyfriend wants me to go with him on his motorcycle. I am scared of motorcycles.
Dating / 4:25 PM - Friday May 15, 2009

My boyfriend wants me to go with him on his motorcycle. I am scared of motorcycles.

He wants me to go with him on his motorycle to meet up with his best friend and his best friend's girlfriend. They will be on his best friend's motorcycle. I'm almost panicking just thinking about it. My uncle almost died in a motorcycle accident and I don't feel comfortable with the idea at all. Especially not if we have to ride with a couple who does this all the time and we'd have to keep up with them. He seemed disappointed when I told him that I'm not comfortable with it and I have a feeling he will ask me again. What to do?

Update: May 15, 2009.
To all: I'm not expecting him to give up riding, just because I don't want to do it. Couples don't have to do everything together in my opinion. I'm just not at all interested in riding and on top of that I am scared of it, so I would ONLY do it to please him. And I'm not sure that's good enough of a reason to do it considering the risks involved. The fear isn't irrational, since motorcycle accidents are fairly common (most of my friend with bikes have had at least ONE accident) and the survival rate is much lower than for example a car accident. He is a good rider, but there are OTHER idiots on the road who could cause the accident.

- Asked by silver75, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Stockholm, Other Profession

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I doubt he'd ever do anything that would put YOU at danger, darlin' . . . . . he'd NEVER be THAT dumb!

Killing hot chicks is the ONLY unpardonable sin!!!!!!

- Response by bytor, A Rebel, Male, 46-55, Pittsburgh, Artist / Musician / Writer

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Do not go. Never let anyone talk you into doing anything you are not comfortable.

Ask your boyfriend to spend some time in a Neuro ICU Unit with people who have suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury from riding a motorcycle. Bet he won't ride it ever, again.

I lost my favorite cousin and his wife on their honeymoon. They hit a freaking COW in the road on their bike. They were brain dead and the family had to sign the papers to pull the plug on them. Not exactly the honeymoon they had planned.

- Response by utahmom, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Managerial

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I think the best thing to do is to try it...you might like it...and it might help you get over your fear! I had an uncle that dove in a pool and drown....but i love to swim. Its a matter of being careful and I'm sure if your boyfriend knows of your fear...he'll take it easy!!

- Response by lam0366, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 46-55, Administrative

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What's wrong with motorcycles? If you're on the back life is great. As long as you wear your gear you'll be fine. You might even learn something about yourself.

- Response by llafsroh, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Boston, Science / Engineering

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You can't possibly be held responsible for one of your fears, the only thing YOU can do is try to overcome that fear.......which of course must be your choice.

Hhave you ever heard of the saying F..K the fear, I'm deoing it anyway......There is a book called embracing uncertainty and it helped me deal with fears and my uncertainties in my life.........I have no fears (except fun fairs) at all now.

None. I can't have......just seek adrenilin rush to combat any fears that crop up.......

I'd like to think you'd try, motor cyclying is fun......

Let me ask you something Stand ridgid between two people with a blidfold on.....then fdeel them push you between themselves.......one being your boyfriend ......it will help you to trust him, he is after all a great rider right. You just have to trust him. Have fun. take care.

- Response by spadeace, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Who Cares?

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If you really want to overcome your fear, you should go to a motorcycle safety class. Google ABATE in your state and they have all the info.

They provide small bikes for you to ride, they train you every step of the way. It will also make you a better passenger.

If you do it yourself, the fear should go away.

- Response by catscratch, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Executive

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Your boyfriend should provide you with leathers and a helmet. Make sure you wear boots or closed in shoes. Do not get on with him if he is an inexperienced rider or one that likes to show off. Bikes are fun but you are right they are dangerous . You have nothing to protect you from cars or trucks.. My hubby is a rider but an experienced one. Rosey

- Response by roseytalks, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Tampa, Who Cares?

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Your boyfriend should provide you with leathers and a helmet. Make sure you wear boots or closed in shoes. Do not get on with him if he is an inexperienced rider or one that likes to show off. Bikes are fun but you are right they are dangerous . You have nothing to protect you from cars or trucks.. My hubby is a rider but an experienced one. Rosey

- Response by roseytalks, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Tampa, Who Cares?

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Would you like the link to the obituary of my student in February? He was killed riding his motorcycle to the University. A lady in a mini-van didn't see him and now he's dead. He was stopped at a light and the lady ran him down. He had on full leathers and full helmet. The lady was only doing 20 MPH. He's still just as dead.

Don't listen to the people who are responding about your irrational fears.

In my book -- you are the SMART one. They are the idiots to jeopardize their lives for no reason other than a thrill.

Do not ride motorcycles.

- Response by utahmom, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Managerial

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Sorry if this adds to your anxiety, but 'there are two types of cycle riders, those that have wrecked, and those that are going to wreck...At least, that's what I've been told by some ardent cyclist...IJS

- Response by billpayer, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 66 or older, Who Cares?

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Hmm, this is a tough one. My boyfriend is a Harley Davidson Mechanic and I have always had a strange love for motorcycles, so I can't really relate. I even hope to have my own HD Sportster one day. :)

But, why don't you have him take you around the block, just to see if you can overcome your fear? You honestly may end up loving it. And if you hate it and are still afraid, at least he'll know you cared enough to try it out...for him. Right?

You are totally right, it IS dangerous but he isn't gonna give up his love for riding. (I know you don't expect him to either.) But...if I were you, I think I'd at least try to get over the fear, even if it was just one attempt, because I would want to go with him. Just make sure you are comfortable with whatever you choose to do. Good luck!

- Response by itsbrittanybitch4, A Life of the Party, Female, 22-25, Student

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If you lived in a low traffic area I would say try it and see if you like it. But since you don't I think he should respect the reason you are afraid of it and accept that he will have to enjoy that by himself. If you did do it with him you would not get any fun out of it and it would just scare you. I had a close friend that was nearly killed in a motorcycle accident out of no fault of his own. So I can understand why you would be afraid. I am scared to death to fly and if a boyfriend insisted I did that all the time because he liked it I would be like uhhh I don't think so. It is called respect.

- Response by dreamdancer, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Houston, Other Profession

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Get him to take you on a slow ride by yourself till you get ust to it and then you will be fine , I have been riding for a lot of years and it is very enjoyable once you get ust to it

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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When I was in college I had a motorcycle. I love the feeling of the wind in my face at 40 MPH cruising down the street. Its exhilarating!

One day I saw an ambulance arrive at a scene where there had been a motorcycle crash. I saw the man being put in the ambulance. I read in the University paper the next day he had died. I sold my bike a few months later.

- Response by A Career Man, Male, 46-55, New York, Who Cares?

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I totally understand where you are coming from. My boyfriend has a crotchrocket and I am not comfortable with riding it at all. It is not so much that I don't trust him it is the other drivers on the road that do not pay attention. Something could happen in a split second. I also have a 2 year old daughter and the thought of something happening to me because I was on a motorcycle and her not having a mother is horrible. He is not really happy about me not riding with him but he understands. It does suck because it is such a huge part of his life...but that is the way it is. We love each other so we make sacrafices. He would never make me do something I didn't wanna do. I think you are fine! If you dont wanna do it then dont. Just that simple!

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 26-28

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