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Active Questions

I am afraid to leave my husband because I worry my kids and I will struggle with out his income.
Married Life / 2:00 AM - Friday May 15, 2009

I am afraid to leave my husband because I worry my kids and I will struggle with out his income.

What would you do, if you were with some that you just don't want to be married to. He's a great guy but, he doesn't want to be more or have more. He thinks living paycheck to paycheck is fine, I pay the bills every month and I hate it. What should I do?

- Asked by cococrispy68, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Sacramento, Home Maker

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do you work at all, how old are your kids?

- Response by sushihoney, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Las Vegas, Other Profession

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Right now? With this economy, and the brother has a job. Sorry sweetheart, but I would learn to love the one Iam with. It's too hard right now, and why make the kids suffer. Trust me, stick it out. If you are going to make a move, besure you have a job if you don't already, save at least 6-9 months reserves, and payoff as many bills as you can all with using his income of course, then make you move. We as woman always make emotional moves. This is business. Calculate. Hang in there for now.

- Response by A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Los Angeles, Financial / Banking

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The hardest thing about the dilemma you are facing is the realization that you need to do what is best for yourself. Its' very hard NOT to do what is best for your children, but the bottom line is, if you are unhappy and miserable, so will your children be. I would give this some very serious thought though before checking out of your marriage. I appreciate the concern of financial issues that you have, but 90% of Americans are exactly the same way.... sure, they may have some money in retirement accounts, etc, but the more money "we" make, the more money we spend. I wouldn't say that we all live pay check to paycheck, but we definitely don't save as we should. Jumpring out of the frying pan into the fire isn't going to help your situation!

- Response by catdancing45, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Baltimore, Self-Employed

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I would take a long walk! And, I would not ever look back.

Someday the kids will thank you for it. All of the obstacles will just drop away. Solutions will appear to everything that needs one. It all works itself out, IF YOU WANT IT TO.

That is the secret: DESIRE. Desire for something better. If you do not dream it; it cannot happen.

Dare to dream. I did many, many years ago and never regretted it. :)

- Response by randyl, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Technical

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If you don't like living paycheck to paycheck, then get a job of your own, or improve upon the one that you have. It's hard for a man to be the sole bread winner these days. Maybe you can inspire him to achieve greater heights by your own example. If he's a good man that you feel is worth being married to, then help him when he's down. He's been carrying you until now, so now it's your turn.

- Response by sxybtch25, A Sportif, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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If you're not happy, you have to find a way to change that. If that means leaving your husband, so be it. I wouldn't stay for the kids' sakes, in the long run both them & you will suffer. My parents fought alllllll the time & I hated it. My dad stayed as long as he could because of my brother & I. When he left, I was 14 & I thanked God he did so I could have peace. Good luck to you on your difficult decision.

- Response by irishize, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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It's 100% better than not having a paycheck at all.....right????

Count your blessings and be grateful that he is working and providing a roof over you and the family.....even if it's paycheck to paycheck. It could be worse.....

- Response by richard77, A Creative, Male, Who Cares?

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If you are not happy in your marriage, and you have a job, walk away. Your kids will be fine because your husband has to help you financially with the kids.The longer you stay, the more miserable you are going to be. Your kids will suffer knowing that you are not happy.Sometimes married couples get along better as friends than husband and wife.Share custody of your kids.The kids do not need to feel the stress of the parents.

- Response by faithful1, A Married Girl, Female, 46-55, Sacramento, Home Maker

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