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Is it easier to sacrifice yourself for others than to focus on your own problems or take the risk of
Family & Parenting / 3:17 PM - Thursday May 14, 2009

Is it easier to sacrifice yourself for others than to focus on your own problems or take the risk of

going after your own goals?

- Asked by gettingstronger, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Teaching

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Maybe. More so if you thrive on being a "martyr."

- Response by justpassingthru, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Financial / Banking

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I think that is inherent in my nature. That's why some of those I assist will always finish well before me.

- Response by stoney07, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 66 or older, Who Cares?

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I know what you mean! always trying to rescue others, "devoting" ones life to helping others, and then feeling these people owe you because the sacrifices made. (Not a nice way to live). But the saddest part is that these "sacrificial" people end up losing themselves and are really no help to anyone. They are deceived.

- Response by sincerity, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Atlanta

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I have a 9 year old.... So it's time to sacrifice for a while, I can worry about myself in 10 years or so....

- Response by nicolegillenwater, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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I guess so today, maybe tomorrow to, who knows. I'm not goal orientated. Well not at the moment.

- Response by spadeace, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Who Cares?

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not when the so called friends you have made in your life are trying to control you
people love playing with peoples lives


- Response by vank356, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, Technical

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I think it is very unhealthy that you would consider things you do for others a sacrifice. You should be able to go after your goals without sacrificing for anyone. This really sounds like an excuse not to achieve. Rosey

- Response by roseytalks, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Tampa, Who Cares?

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"sacrifice yourself for others ?"

Really? I'm not that selfless....

- Response by singledad281, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Houston, Hospitality

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In a word - yes!
I have made that into a career goal, though, and have done very well "helping" people.

- Response by monana, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 56-65, Who Cares?

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probly so, I ALWAYS DID LIKE HELPING OTHERS.

- Response by hotair, A Father Figure, Male, 66 or older, New Orleans, Transportation

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"Sacrifice"? no.

If I'm not whole and healthy and able to define and pursue my own goals, I don't really have much to offer anyone else.



- Response by cd92835, A Career Man, Male, 46-55

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As I explained earlier, I don't do that; I watched my grandparents (& others, too) go through that time & again, & it doesn't help anyone! We need to focus on our own problems first ("clean up our own backyard") so we can become "all that we can be". I'm a big believer in Abraham Maslow's "Hierarchy of Needs". Where's the "risk" in going after our own goals? Life is full of "ifs"---what else are we here for but to improve ourselves, to do more, to be more than we thought possible? :)

Remember this always: Do not imbue other people with characteristics you wish they had that they do not possess! Do not let them use that "wish fulfillment" on your part as a way of them getting you to do what they want! Sociopaths have no conscience; they will do whatever they want to get whatever it is they desire. No one will stop them. They use people & then toss them aside.


- Response by cressida1, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Consulting

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I would say in the end it is harder to live that way. I was raised to be a people pleaser and put myself behind everyone else so I did what I thought I was supposed to do. But when I woke up to the way it really should be it took alot of adjustment to arrive where I should have been to begin with. It is much more satisfying to love yourself first and then you can truly love others. Too many people are taught it is wrong to make yourself happy first but if you do that then others will be happy too.

- Response by dreamdancer, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Houston, Other Profession

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