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Active Questions

What makes you a Mrs. instead of a Ms. or Miss?
Married Life / 9:25 AM - Tuesday May 12, 2009

What makes you a Mrs. instead of a Ms. or Miss?

Growing up I thought I learned that Mrs. simply meant you were married and Ms. meant you were unmarried.

My wife and I are both in our mid 20's. She is an 8th grade math teacher. We were married about a year ago and people still refer to her as Ms.(Miss) (my last name) instead of Mrs. (my last name).

I guess I can understand students doing this since some still accidentally call her by her maiden name, but even her principal and some of her fellow teachers still refer to her as Ms. Do you think it is because she is still young, or maybe they were just use to calling her Ms. (maiden name), or some other reason I'm missing?

- Asked by 20something, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 29-35, Consulting

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Women are getting more independent in these modern days so "Miss" means the woman is single, and "Ms." could be a single woman or a married woman. If you were to send a letter to someone and you weren't sure if the woman was married or not you would put "Ms. Smith." Also, some women today are also keeping their surnames after marriage (go by their surname and not their husbands last name) while others will link their surname with that of their new husbands. Eg: Her name is Smith and his is Johnson, so she'd go by "Mary Smith-Johnson." Some women will do this especially if they are in business.

"Miss" and "Mrs" are both contractions of "Mistress". "Ms", pronounced "mizz", appeared in the early 20th century as further contraction of both titles which is independent of marital status.

Recommend that your wife enforce the students addressed her property...

- Response by askwhatever, A Thinker, Female, 56-65

Rating Received:

You are confusing "Ms." and "Miss."

Here's the rundaown:

Mrs. = married

Miss = unmarried

Ms. = None of your business if I'm married or not.

The latter is what should be used if you are unsure of a woman's marital status, or if she has stated that she prefers it. When "Ms." made its initial appearance, the general thought among its supporters was that ALL men are referred to as "Mr." So, why should women have to specify their marital status if they don't choose to.

- Response by southjerseygirl, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Administrative

Rating Received:

Community Rating: Community Star

"Ms" was the feminists version of "Mr," a term they hated since it didn't show whether a man was married or not, unlike "Miss" or "Misses." In time it's become more fashionable to call a woman "Ms" as a term of resepsct and especialy if their marital status is unknown.

- Response by pizzaman, A Father Figure, Male, 66 or older

Rating Received:

Miss means Never married
Ms. is typically divorced or widowed
Mrs. is married

I don't think people really follow the rules anymore...

- Response by nicolegillenwater, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

Rating Received:

I was taught that *Ms* can go any way -either by the woman's individual role preference, or if they're young.

Kinda like how the French refer to older and/or married women as 'Madame' & young or unmarried women as 'Madamoiselle' (sp??) -

- Response by jillopo, An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35

Rating Received:

I think you have it right. They're just used to calling her Ms. That's what I learned in school too. Mrs=married, Ms=not married.

- Response by hollywould23, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35, Artist / Musician / Writer

Rating Received:

Ms. is used for all women, whether they are married or not. Miss shows that a woman is unmarried. Mrs. shows that a woman is married.

"Mrs." does not mean "I am married"; it means "the wife of". So basically your wife can either be called Ms. or Mrs. depending on the social setting.

- Response by kdtxchic30, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

Rating Received:

It does not matter the reasons she's called Ms. (maiden-married to senior) or Miss (maiden-single) by her students and fellow teachers; the fault is in her not having stressed to EVERYONE that her name now, is Mrs. (married to) You, and she is to be addressed as Mrs. Married To You by EVERYONE.

- Response by thedaimler2006, An Alternative Girl, Female, 56-65, Atlanta, Self-Employed

Rating Received:

mrs = married
ms. = either married/single/divorced /not married
miss. = not married

- Response by gaffb, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 26-28, Toronto, Administrative

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Ms can mean either married or unmarried.

- Response by poisonrogue, An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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I worked at a Boys and Girls Club, the kids called me/I was formally written on all the paperwork as Miss Chica and a single co-worker that was 30 Ms. Amii. She said it's because "she's older."

- Response by beantownchica34, A Hip Hop Girl, Female, 26-28, Teaching

Rating Received:

Ms. doesn't have to be a rude connotation.

I am a Ms. because my husband died. TRUST me...I would certainly love to be a Mrs. still.

With regard to your wife I think they are calling her Miss (not Ms...which is pronounced Mizz) because she is young and also because they are not used to calling her Mrs. When I first got married back in 1987 people often called me Miss for over a year afterward and some people even called me by my maiden name out of habit.

You're not missing it (or should I say "Ms'ing it"?) ...they are.

Congratulations on your marriage Mr. & Mrs. 20something! *Hugs*

- Response by msbrunette, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 46-55

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