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Separated should we celebrate together?
Sex & Intimacy, Married Life / 10:08 AM - Thursday May 07, 2009

Separated should we celebrate together?

I am separated from my husband. We have been separated for seven months now. Our 7 years anniversary is on Saturday. He wants to go out for our anniversary. Should I go? Is this giving him hope for our relationship? We separated due to another woman and him disrespect me and not appreciating me. I love him but don't want to go through the nonsense anymore.

Update: May 07, 2009.
Thank you so much. I think I am going through that phase of bargaining and trying to make it work but it isn't. Once again thanks for your wisdom, I don't know where I would be without you guys!

- Asked by delight800, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Atlanta, Self-Employed

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Unless you are sincerely interesting in making up and getting back together, don't go. However consider meeting up for some coffee on another unrelated day. It's always good to keep good relations. My ex and I still call each other on birthdays, etc, even though we live in different parts of the country now. But going on a date on your anniversary date can totally give the wrong message, which you want to avoid. (unless that is the message you want to give).

- Response by pumamgtow, A Rebel, Male, 36-45

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You're separated.
If you celebrate your wedding anniversary, it will definitely give him hope that you want him back.

So if you don't want him back, don't acknowledge the anniversary.

- Response by piscesrising, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Boston, Internet / New Media

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Community Rating: Community Star

This is actually your first step in closure on this relationship. It didn't work out now it's time to move on and find someone who will appreciate and desire you. Good luck! Really. I mean that.

- Response by ilovevickie, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 46-55, Denver, Technical

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well... separated means there's NO SEVEN...

it's six & change...
He can party with his NEW flame trying to make that mark someday.

- Response by geester, A Creative, Male, 56-65, Celebrity

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it could be his gesture to show you he's listening. so, if you want the relationship to continue, this is the perfect path back to reconsiliation. if not, then tell him its over and to use his new found wisdom in his next relationship.

- Response by pizzatroll, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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Sweetie, I've been married for 14 years and can sooooo relate to where you are. If I were you, I would stay separated as long as I could and make him remember why we got married in the first place......don't forget that while you're separated he runs the risk of you meeting and dating someone else. If he's willing to do all the things now that you wanted him to do while you were married, why sell yourself short----it seems to me that he's happier wining and dining outside of the marriage. I wish you luck.

- Response by dazedandconfused7, A Married Girl, Female, 46-55, Administrative

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if he has realized his mistake and working on trying to make things right with you. I say yes give him another shot,have dinner with him, but let him know that dinner will not make everything better.

if he's still seeing the other woman tell him to rot in hell. Jk, serious though God forgives us when we do wrong we have to find it in our hearts to forgive others. that is what marriage is we have to take the good with the bad. if he's trying to make it right give him another shot.

Matthew 6:14-15
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men of their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

God Bless

- Response by tleeb, A Guy Critical, Male, Who Cares?, Dallas, Other Profession

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Georgia is a backwards state where one of the requirements for being granted a divorce (where adultery isn't proven) is no cohabitation for 12 months. Any contact that could be construed as getting back together seems like it could be used for legal monkey wrenching to delay the process another 7 months. While you are involved in a legal battle with this guy I think it would be wise to keep some distance.

- Response by bailarenfuego, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Technical

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There is nothing to celebrate. A cheating man is not worth celebrating the past with or allowing him to block your clear view of the future without him. Move forward.

If you really love him and think it could ever work out again i.e. you could trust him...then I would acknowledge the anniversary i.e. accept a call or card but I would not spend it with steps are key to reconciliation IF that is what you want...most cheaters are quite charming.

- Response by clip22, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Executive

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Show the clown the door......You seperated because there was another woman involved remember !!!!!
I assume your smart enough to understand that if youi allow him to play you for a sucker once he will continue to use you and every other woman he meets.So you really just need to ask yourself if your "TIRED OF BEING A VICTIM" heal your self and heart...MOVE ON to a man not a game playin boy.

- Response by daddyknows, Female, 56-65, Portland, Who Cares?

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I'm sorry but I am a Christian and am seperated but no matter what, I can give you this advise go to Rejoice Ministries and read Charlyn daily devotionals that will tell you all you need to know and all you need to do. When you get married that is a covenant that you take. You both did!! He has for sure killed the relationship at this time but can grow....let the Lord heal him and the way he is and repent and I can say 100% faith. while you are seperated have you looked at yourself and what you can do for your marriage nobody is by far PERFECT and can be better. If you are not divorced and taken the step the way the world is! You and your husband can and will make this work through prayer and hearing each other which is called communication. I wish you the best. One last thing you said should I still must have a love for him and you do. You will know threw Jesus when it will be time to reconcile because only he can restore your marriage!

- Response by dootman1, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 26-28

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Today is my 12 year anniversay and I have been separated from my husband for 7 months as well. He has an affair and it called it off but there is still hope left in me that things will sort themselves out, I love him still, and I have sincerely forgiven him. Unlike you he hasn't invited me out to celebrate not has he called nor sent me any messages. If he had I would have gone because I know that I still love him, despite what he has done to hurt me, and I want to give us another go. I have grown from this experience. So to answer your question, be honest with yourself, if you still love him and want to give it a go then meet him. Do not be ashamed in loving someone who has hurt. At the end of the day it does not matter what we think its your relationship and your life, the choice is yours. Good luck and I wish I has received an invite from my hubby. B

- Response by lilozy, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, New South Wales

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If you do not want to get back together with him then do not go. If you think there is any chance then go. If you have made up your mind to move on then why celabrate an anniversary?

- Response by mallowcup, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Self-Employed

Rating Received: ought i was freaky
about #6! 7yrs., 7 mos., "Clebrate" on the
7th day???

- Response by kitkat19, A Thinker, Female, 56-65

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