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Active Questions

When meeting a girl... should I give her my number or ask for hers?
Dating / 2:16 AM - Thursday May 07, 2009

When meeting a girl... should I give her my number or ask for hers?

I really don't feel like getting rejected, so I figured that I could avoid that by giving the girl my number and tell her to text/call me or something. I feel that if I gave her my number instead, she wouldn't really have to reject me, she could just take it and never contact me.

So what are the pros and cons of each and which do you think would work best?

- Asked by A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 26-28, Miami, Self-Employed

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That is what I DO. If I am out and see someone that I would like to get to know, I had them a little personal business card that I had made up. I tell them to call me if they are free and would like to have a drink or dinner sometime. Then I walk off. I leave them totally off the hook. I do not have to stand there and endure an uncomfortable moment. Nobody feels awkward.

So, I think your idea is great. If a guy gave me his number and told me to call him AND I WAS INTERESTED, I would call him. I would also like the NO PRESSURE tactic. :)

- Response by randyl, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Technical

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Give her yours, its less intimidating. She doesn't have to worry about the possibility of you being a creep and stalking her. It also leaves the ball in her court, which is less stressful on you. If she asks to give hers to you instead, no harm done, take it. At least you know she is interested. And if you offer her yours, she may offer you hers. Good Luck.

- Response by brokenpromises121, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Internet / New Media

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I will NOT call a guy.. to me if a guy does that is shows he is lazy and does not have confidence, to me its a turn off.. if a guy can't call me it is not worth my time to pursue.

- Response by smartblond, A Sweet Sarah, Female, Who Cares?, Charlotte, Self-Employed

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Its better to ask for the number. If she gives, it means it has given her indirect consent to be called. The matter is decided instantly, in place of waiting for her call endlessly, if you give your number.

If at all you want to give yours, give with your full name, and some nice quote or message, so she will remember you for that. Otherwise your no. slip just goes to dustbin.

- Response by counsellor, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 66 or older, Delhi, Self-Employed

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my young friend, you're a man and you need to get her number. When you call tell her you just called to see how she's doing and I'm sure everyone appreciates "How are you?" call. You see, she doesn't have to reject you. Everyone gets rejected, learn how to lose graciously and be brave.

- Response by chichek, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Moscow, Other Profession

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Giving your number may send off signals that you're just not that into her..(blame it to some dating books which teaches women how to decipher both verbal and non-verbal cues from men).. I'm a girl and I still prefer the act of chivalry. I think asking her number means you're interested to her. But giving out your number, she may not call you cause chances are, she also doesn't want to get rejected just like you. Yes we're in the modern world but don't forget that its a natural fact that men should chase women not the other way around. ;)

- Response by winluvnsparkle, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Medical / Dental

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If your interested in her get her number and you call her. If she doesn't like you she will not pick up or talk to you. No woman will call a guy first a woman psycho maybe but no great decent woman. Many of them aren't so caught up in their love lives nowadays. Some woman would rather be single than be caught up in love lives that is until they meet a great guy that treats them good. Than that thought is out the window. If you want her attention than call her and let her know your there. That should make her stop and think about a love life.

- Response by An Alternative Girl, Female, 26-28

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So I take it you haven't had a girl post your number in a bathroom yet?

- Response by singledad281, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Houston, Hospitality

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There are no pros. Girls will not text or call a guy because then that makes them appear eager and puts them in the crosshairs of rejection. Plus its seen as weak.

Would you rather know upfront that she's not interested or wait and wonder if she's going to call?

- Response by A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 22-25, Administrative

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NO woman ever calls a guy first in a situation like that.
Been there, done that. It doesn't work.

- Response by chesterdad, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 66 or older, San Francisco

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