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It is strange that I fantasize about watching or sharing my wife with other men?
Sex & Intimacy / 9:26 PM - Friday May 01, 2009

It is strange that I fantasize about watching or sharing my wife with other men?

Is it wrong of my to have a fantasy of watching my wife with other guys or sharing her with other men? Do most married men have these fantasies? How would you ladies feel if you man had these fantasies about you? Has anyone actually done this before?


- Asked by A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 36-45, Pittsburgh, Who Cares?

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so does my husband!!!

- Response by A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35, New York, Self-Employed

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I think it's a fairly common fantasy. I fantasize about watching my husband with other women and also just about watching another couple. I think it's valuable to try to understand what's behind the fantasy. For me, I just like to watch. It's not that I think I'm not adequate or that he'd prefer some other woman. I think the reality is dangerous though. Fantasy is often much better than reality.

- Response by A Married Girl, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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Community Rating: Community Star

Maybe it isn't that you actually want her to be
with another man, it is that you want to step back
and watch and see what it is like while she is getting it
on. You might want to watch her expressions, or watch her
performing oral, whatever, my thing is maybe you should
video you doing her, then you could see all that.

- Response by burberrybrit69, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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It is totally hot; I would love to see my wife with another man as long as I am there and perhaps participate. Just the thought can get me turned on. There is nothing wrong with this fantasy. I know my wife also wants to watch me with another woman - and that's also hot!!!

- Response by An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Teaching

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Everyone has fantasies. Men like that one and the one where they have their wife and another gal. Don't act on it. The fantasy is awesome, because it's just a fantasy. If you DO it, it is something else. It's likely you would not like it as much.

- Response by nursefromky, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Medical / Dental

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Well, if it is a fantasy for the majority of men, they keep it to themselves. Secondly, if it was a fantasy men wanted, there would not be domestic violence as we know it today, and there would not be an issue with "cheating".

Sharing your partner with other lovers generally is a deal breakers; relationship and marital destroyer.

If my husband ever had fantasies of wanting to share me with others, I would be extremely disappointed and heartbroken that he doesn't value me so much that he wouldn't want any other man to "put asunder"

Further, I would feel he doesn't truly know what love it, what it means and what marriage is all about. It truly would be a sad day.

- Response by msadvise, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Transportation

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I always thought most men had fantasies of watching their wife with another WOMAN!

- Response by rhonda35, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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No that's not strange. I think that's perfectly normal for guys, unless they're insanely jealous. It's kinky, but not strange.

- Response by fieryliz, A Thinker, Female, 22-25

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Hey look, nothing weird about it at all...in fact, I actually met with a couple last week and we enjoyed the exact situation. If you truely want to investigate this further give me a call and we can talk. email me at xxxxxxxxxx

- Response by A Career Man, Male, 36-45

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It is very common! Former editor at Penthouse says it was one of the most persistent themes to the letters they got. I have the fantasy and I know some friends do as well. But like most guys, I'm not likely to share that one with my wife - too risky -- but I applaud men who do and couples that make it work.

- Response by A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 46-55

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My wife and I have always enjoyed a loving, healthy, adventurous relationship. However, we took the plunge from fantasy to reality about a year ago. We enjoyed it so much that we have not looked back. We have had MMF and FFM threesomes and we have played with another couple as well. We found that reality WAS just as great as our fantasies. Maybe even better! We have been able to distinguish our love for one another from the act of recreational sex with others. The funny thing is how amazingly passionate we are for days after sharing those kinds of experiences. We just can't seem to keep our hands off one another! That said, it's definitely not for everyone. I think it would damage a relationship that was not so strong as ours. Communication and trust are the key!

- Response by A Life of the Party, Male, 46-55

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Not at all. I Love the idea of my wife having sex with another man while I watch and enjoy her myself. To open your lives to something like this takes trust, openeness and communication. Holding the fantasy in without sharring it with your life partner is in my opinion wrong and can hurt things more. The keys is to talk about it and understand it fully. For me, I love my wife even more because we have such a bond and understanding together and know that the other guy is for fun and not anything else. I don't want another women period. I have my wife. But if she said she wanted to see me with another women we would talk first and go from thier. Live your life with your partner as you Both choose to. It's your marriage, not anyone elses. Just be sure to be completly open and honest and never abuse or brake the trust between the both of you for anything. Partners. Key word. Good luck and again live your lives as you both want to for happiness.


- Response by A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45

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I think that is a normal fantasy. I had it for years before I ever mentioned it to anyone. While at a friends house one night(and after a few beers)he asked if I would like to see some nude pictures of his wife. I answered of course. While I was looking at the pictures I could tell he was enjoying it. I then revealed to him my fantasy. Fast forward a couple of years. After a night of partying and an intimate discussion I mentioned my fantasy to my wife. As expected she was not receptive at all. To keep a long story short I will leave out a lot of details but it finally happened. We went out with this same friend and his wife one night. We had all been drinking and returned back to their house. After awhile his wife went to bed. This is when it happened. In their basement rec room. I will leave out the details to keep this clean but I will add there were no bad after effects. It has happened a coouple of times since with the same friend. My wife and I have a good relationship and we are not swingers by any means but we have both enjoyed this. It has been a couple of years since we have done this but it is still a fantasy of mine.

- Response by bobcattle18, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Columbus

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I have been married for 4 years and it is the only fantacy I am able to have. I can't watch PORN.. It does NOTHING for me... The girl next door? I couldn't be less interested. In fact, I believe it is the ONLY fantacy I have had since meeting her!

Having said the above I must add that if I were to ever stumble accoss it I believe it would throw me into a HOMOCIDAL RAGE.

How can something so completely disturbing invoke such polarized emotions?

- Response by A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45

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