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It is strange that I fantasize about watching or sharing my wife with other men?
Sex & Intimacy / 9:26 PM - Friday May 01, 2009

It is strange that I fantasize about watching or sharing my wife with other men?

Is it wrong of my to have a fantasy of watching my wife with other guys or sharing her with other men? Do most married men have these fantasies? How would you ladies feel if you man had these fantasies about you? Has anyone actually done this before?

- Asked by A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 36-45, Pittsburgh, Who Cares?

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so does my husband!!!

- Response by A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35, New York, Self-Employed

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I think it's a fairly common fantasy. I fantasize about watching my husband with other women and also just about watching another couple. I think it's valuable to try to understand what's behind the fantasy. For me, I just like to watch. It's not that I think I'm not adequate or that he'd prefer some other woman. I think the reality is dangerous though. Fantasy is often much better than reality.

- Response by A Married Girl, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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Community Rating: Community Star

Maybe it isn't that you actually want her to be
with another man, it is that you want to step back
and watch and see what it is like while she is getting it
on. You might want to watch her expressions, or watch her
performing oral, whatever, my thing is maybe you should
video you doing her, then you could see all that.

- Response by burberrybrit69, A Thinker, Female, 46-55

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It is totally hot; I would love to see my wife with another man as long as I am there and perhaps participate. Just the thought can get me turned on. There is nothing wrong with this fantasy. I know my wife also wants to watch me with another woman - and that's also hot!!!

- Response by An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Teaching

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Everyone has fantasies. Men like that one and the one where they have their wife and another gal. Don't act on it. The fantasy is awesome, because it's just a fantasy. If you DO it, it is something else. It's likely you would not like it as much.

- Response by nursefromky, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Medical / Dental

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Well, if it is a fantasy for the majority of men, they keep it to themselves. Secondly, if it was a fantasy men wanted, there would not be domestic violence as we know it today, and there would not be an issue with "cheating".

Sharing your partner with other lovers generally is a deal breakers; relationship and marital destroyer.

If my husband ever had fantasies of wanting to share me with others, I would be extremely disappointed and heartbroken that he doesn't value me so much that he wouldn't want any other man to "put asunder"

Further, I would feel he doesn't truly know what love it, what it means and what marriage is all about. It truly would be a sad day.

- Response by msadvise, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Transportation

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I always thought most men had fantasies of watching their wife with another WOMAN!

- Response by rhonda35, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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No that's not strange. I think that's perfectly normal for guys, unless they're insanely jealous. It's kinky, but not strange.

- Response by fieryliz, A Thinker, Female, 26-28

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Hey look, nothing weird about it at fact, I actually met with a couple last week and we enjoyed the exact situation. If you truely want to investigate this further give me a call and we can talk. email me at xxxxxxxxxx

- Response by A Career Man, Male, 36-45

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It is very common! Former editor at Penthouse says it was one of the most persistent themes to the letters they got. I have the fantasy and I know some friends do as well. But like most guys, I'm not likely to share that one with my wife - too risky -- but I applaud men who do and couples that make it work.

- Response by A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 46-55

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My wife and I have always enjoyed a loving, healthy, adventurous relationship. However, we took the plunge from fantasy to reality about a year ago. We enjoyed it so much that we have not looked back. We have had MMF and FFM threesomes and we have played with another couple as well. We found that reality WAS just as great as our fantasies. Maybe even better! We have been able to distinguish our love for one another from the act of recreational sex with others. The funny thing is how amazingly passionate we are for days after sharing those kinds of experiences. We just can't seem to keep our hands off one another! That said, it's definitely not for everyone. I think it would damage a relationship that was not so strong as ours. Communication and trust are the key!

- Response by A Life of the Party, Male, 46-55

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Not at all. I Love the idea of my wife having sex with another man while I watch and enjoy her myself. To open your lives to something like this takes trust, openeness and communication. Holding the fantasy in without sharring it with your life partner is in my opinion wrong and can hurt things more. The keys is to talk about it and understand it fully. For me, I love my wife even more because we have such a bond and understanding together and know that the other guy is for fun and not anything else. I don't want another women period. I have my wife. But if she said she wanted to see me with another women we would talk first and go from thier. Live your life with your partner as you Both choose to. It's your marriage, not anyone elses. Just be sure to be completly open and honest and never abuse or brake the trust between the both of you for anything. Partners. Key word. Good luck and again live your lives as you both want to for happiness.

- Response by A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45

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I think that is a normal fantasy. I had it for years before I ever mentioned it to anyone. While at a friends house one night(and after a few beers)he asked if I would like to see some nude pictures of his wife. I answered of course. While I was looking at the pictures I could tell he was enjoying it. I then revealed to him my fantasy. Fast forward a couple of years. After a night of partying and an intimate discussion I mentioned my fantasy to my wife. As expected she was not receptive at all. To keep a long story short I will leave out a lot of details but it finally happened. We went out with this same friend and his wife one night. We had all been drinking and returned back to their house. After awhile his wife went to bed. This is when it happened. In their basement rec room. I will leave out the details to keep this clean but I will add there were no bad after effects. It has happened a coouple of times since with the same friend. My wife and I have a good relationship and we are not swingers by any means but we have both enjoyed this. It has been a couple of years since we have done this but it is still a fantasy of mine.

- Response by bobcattle18, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Columbus

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I have been married for 4 years and it is the only fantacy I am able to have. I can't watch PORN.. It does NOTHING for me... The girl next door? I couldn't be less interested. In fact, I believe it is the ONLY fantacy I have had since meeting her!

Having said the above I must add that if I were to ever stumble accoss it I believe it would throw me into a HOMOCIDAL RAGE.

How can something so completely disturbing invoke such polarized emotions?

- Response by A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45

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Be very careful what you wish for.....

I've had this fantasy ever since I read my first "Wife Sharing" edition of Penthouse Letters. It had become my top fantasy. Back then I was initially insecure and dreaded the thought of anyone looking at my fiancé. But something flipped a switch in my head, and one night while we were having sex I whispered in her ear "Your guy is getting off watching me nail you". She came so hard. I took this as a good sign, and later told her of my fantasy of sharing her with another guy. She couldn't understand it, and thought I was only suggesting it to get me with another woman. She didn't believe me that i didn't want another woman and said no way. Her jealousy was so bed we broke up.

The fantasy didn't go away when I got married a few years later. Again during sex I told her that her husband was getting off watching me do his wife. Again, an explosive orgasm. Afterwards she asked if that was something I fantasized about, and I confessed. She initially thought again that I wanted another woman, and when I reassured her I didn't, she said it sounded interesting. FF she joined a gym and soon thereafter told me a trainer was hitting on her. I asked if she was attracted to him.....yes. I suggested she bring him home one evening, but she said that her first time would have to be without me.....too much pressure. I got so aroused that I told her to go for it. She did, and it started a 6 month affair where they got together about once a week. I never got to watch them.....she said her first affair was for her. The next one would include me. In a way I was included because several times I did enjoy seconds as soon as she walked in the door. He broke off the affair when she started having feelings for him. We divorced for other reasons......honest.

I've been with my current wife for 19 years, married 17. Again I threw caution to the wind when she asked what my fantasies were. She didn't understand why I would want to share her, especially since we had just moved in together. I explained my scenario in which it would just be for her pleasure, and that I wasn't interested in being with another woman. She still had questions, but we started watching MFM porn and using toys to simulate the other man. One time when she was going down on me while I pummeled her with a toy, I said that we need to find a real flesh and blood boy toy for her. She came so hard and said OK. That's when I came. As luck would have it my good friend from college was coming in town for the holidays at his parents' home. He's a nice looking guy and got along well with my gf on their initial meeting, and I know he thought she was hot. I mentioned him to my gf, and she blushed and said ok. Anyway, we took him out for dinner/drinks and back to our place. It took a while to get the ball rolling but once we did there was no turning back. The mix of emotions I had were mind blowing. Watching them make out filled me with insecurity, arousal, jealousy, excitement. But the moment I watched her guide him into her that first time, all I could think was WOW. HE WAS AN INCREDIBLE LOVER! We used most of the usual threesome combinations and it was incredibly exciting. Although my gf was multi orgasmic, she outdid herself....10 orgasms. The hottest part of that encounter was watching them come together, with him filling her with his seed.....TWICE. I was so excited to get inside of her that I didn't last long either time I came in her. We did it again the next night, although as she was a little sore we each came in her only once. We were married 3 months later. 6 months after the wedding I had a business trip to his city, and my now wife went along. In our hotel room I excused myself to take a quick shower and they started without me. This time it was more of a tag team session, and although I still had those same emotions, I thoroughly enjoyed watching their lovemaking. Once again he came inside of her twice, with me adding my seed in between. He spent the night and my wife saw him on his way with a morning BJ while I took her from behind.

FF........we haven't done it again since. He did come back to town the following year and although I practically begged her to have sex with him, she refused. A problem for me was that every time she and I made love, I thought of them together. When she would reach down and guide me in to her I would ask her if she knew what I was thinking. At first it excited her, but over time it started to upset her. I stopped mentioning it, but after she had her normal 3 orgasms she would ask me to cum. I thought of them together and would have a powerful orgasm.

She said that she didn't think that her having sex with another man was something a proper wife/mom should be doing and not to mention it again. Our sex life went from sizzle to fizzle. The last few years we have had sex twice a year......that's it. When we do it is always hot, and she still orgasms easily, but the frequency is almost non existent. I have a feeling that my fantasy turned reality has only left me with these memories and a strong right hand.

My apologies for being so lengthy.

- Response by A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 46-55, Tampa

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