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Why is my boyfriends mom rude to me at times? I'm really getting sick of it.
Dating / 7:27 PM - Wednesday April 29, 2009

Why is my boyfriends mom rude to me at times? I'm really getting sick of it.

I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half, and I met his mom about a month after we started dating- so I've known her basically the whole time I've been with her son. She tells me and my boyfriend that she really likes, would like to see us married one day, etc. But then other times she says really rude and mean things. She is overweight (about 200 pounds) and I am pretty thin (115 pounds) and she always says something like "are you sure you don't have an eating disorder? how much do you weigh? what size pants do you wear?" I find it kind of offensive. She also makes comments like "I bet you can't eat more than a single egg without getting full"
My weight isn't the only thing she comments on, she also says mean things about how I can't cook. I'm 19 years old, I am not a chef, I know how to make basic things like grilled cheese, eggs, tuna mac, etc. She always puts me down and one time she said that I probably couldn't even make a pop tart without burning it in the toaster.
My mom thinks she does this because she is overprotective of her son. It doesn't make sense though- why is she so nice to me at times and then other times she says rude things?
I feel like I can't say anything to her because I don't want to be disrespectful.

- Asked by Female, 22-25

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if u really think she doesn't like, then u'll def get married!! cause thats how it goes. but, seriously, she sounds jealous of u in a way. ur skinny and young and trying to make herself seem more worthy than u for some reason.

- Response by nicky711, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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Girl you need to get over that The I don't want to be
disrespectful part. I was like you when I got married and he wouldnt say anything to his mom when she was putting me down
or making nasty comments. I was young like you. I eventually got a divorce partly because of her.
Put a stop to it now, I now you are scared, but seriously,
you need to let her know, you are not going to put up with it.
Plus, you need to tell your boyfriend he needs to stand up to her. If he can't I'm telling you get out now.
I was pregnant with my daughter on a trip, and I was getting
car sick, I asked my husband to pull over and the side of the road, His mother said "NO, don't pull over, if she's gonna
puke just let her puke, we are in to big of a hurry to stop"
So he didn't stop. You will grow to resent him. Trust me.
I look back now and I wish I would of told them both
to go F* themselves.

- Response by burberrybrit69, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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Does she say these things in front of your boyfriend? If so, the times that she IS being nice to you could be because he got pissed at her and said something about it. So she felt like she had to do damage control for a while, then slips back to criticizing you until he tells her off again. I don't know? Just a thought.

But wow, what a bitch! I'm the same age and I'm no chef either, ask her if she'd like to pay for you to take cooking classes. When she brings up your weight say you are happy with it and like the way you look and that you eat whatever the hell you want. Don't just take it, show her that you aren't there to please her, you're there to be a good girlfriend. She might even respect you for sticking up for yourself.

- Response by itsbrittanybitch4, A Life of the Party, Female, 22-25, Student

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The simple answer(s) are:
1.) She is jealous of your body type.
2.) She's testing you to see how much you can handle.

- Response by Kikure, An Engaged Girl, Female, 22-25, Student

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Now, there's your problem. Mamason is using her age to put you through hell, and you have made the mistake of thinking your boyfriend is worth her abuse of you--and he's NOT!

Now, I'm not suggesting that you show yourself and tell fat-assed Mamason off--which I'd be ready to do faster than I could crack that single egg she intimated I'd get full on! But you don't owe your boyfriend humiliation of you, either, which means you are a year and a half late of walking out on him with these final statements thrown over your shoulder to him:

"Baby, I love you, but I respect myself too much to have you at the expense of your mother's constant digs and insults of me! So, until you show that you respect me as much as I respect you and insist she back off on me as the woman you have chosen, I'm going out of here today and find myself a new man I can date with less hassle! Holler...!"

Were boyfriend not strong enough to stand up in defense of you right then--well, you would have saved yourself the last year and a half of hassle from fat Mamason just to have her half-hearted son of a boyfriend--and I don't mean boyfriend...!

- Response by thedaimler2006, An Alternative Girl, Female, 56-65, Atlanta, Self-Employed

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people are people with their own issues, whether it's your neighbor, your friend, a mother, brother or you....

you just need to take a step back and look at the scenario from a different point of view....

I don't know if she's married, but she's a mom...it's natural for her to be judgemental....she's overweight and you being not only skinnier but younger, makes her feel insecure....

She knows you're young, most older people know that most young people don't know how to cook much...

don't take that personal....in time you'll learn like the rest
of us.....

Some of us were brought up to respect our elders...but our elders make mistakes and have issues and can be just as mean and devious as anyone else...

You'll learn that you can't always respect someone blindly...whomever you meet...your boyfriends mother....needs to be looked at and spoken to as your equal....someone you would have met at work...

Learn her, like you would a new friend, talk to her like you would a co-worker...don't trust her too much...but show her only your good side when she's around....show her you can cook...tell her you'll go for walks with her...and don't take what she says personal....she'd say the same things whether it was you or someone else her son was dating.....

If you're in it for the long haul...she will eventually settle down and face the fact, see that you mean nothing but the best for her son...

you're young...just be strong...not rude..but patient...take the shots, just don't take them personal, understand where it's coming from...

- Response by sushihoney, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Las Vegas, Other Profession

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