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My mom treats me like a child sometimes! But I am 19
Family & Parenting / 11:43 AM - Tuesday April 28, 2009

my mom treats me like a child sometimes! But I am 19

Every day my mom im's me, or calls me with details about how to get ready and reminds me to get washed up and stuff so I smell nice for my boyfriend. She tells me what to wear, and wants to see me on video chat every day so she can approve! I've tried telling her that I'm 19 I can do stuff by myself. She acts all hurt and says "I thought we were friends! It's just girl talk! Fine I can take a hint" She then will either hang up on me, or something like that. I dont want to hurt her feelings but I'm tired of being treated like a child! What can I do?

- Asked by Female, 22-25

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you are her baby girl. You can be 40 and you will still be her baby girl.

- Response by uberguber, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Science / Engineering

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Community Rating: Community Star

It will get easier to take as you get older and you will appreciate it too, I promise you mother drove me insane for the first 30 years of my life now I appreciate things that use to tear me out of the frame.

- Response by mallowcup, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Self-Employed

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You should feel lucky that you have such a loving and caring parent. Both of mine have passed away and I would give anything to listen to them "ranting" on about what I need to do with my life and how I live it. Be lucky, because you are.

- Response by bewitchinglybeautiful, A Married Girl, Female, 29-35, Administrative

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Sounds like my mom.
You could block her telephone number. Block her texts and email/i ms. I understand how you are feeling and wish you well.
I not like her "I thought we were friends" excuse. I think she is not getting along with her little girl having out of the nest.
She does think you are not responsible for yourself and stills to need to give you approval.
Love her as much as you can, but don't let her rule your life.
Tell her, "Mom, I love you but I can do for myself and I love you."

- Response by amandasboy, A Father Figure, Male, 66 or older, Atlanta, Retired

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It's hard to understand until you become a parent.But once you have gave birth to someone,wiped yellow poo off their behind and diapered them then taught them everything they know to date it's hard to accept that they are fully capable of functioning on their them it seems all of a sudden.

Tell her she is your girlfriend,one of your best friends and then tell her,(laughingly) but "none of my girlfriends tells me how to dress for my boyfriend."She should get the message and understand that much.

But,might as well give up on losing the parental oversight comittee completely.I'm 43 years old and my mom still offers up advice all the time lol.But you know,not such a bad thing...this world is a huge place and anywhere we can find a friend with honest unconditional love for us it's usually worth any small annoyances that come with that.

- Response by justme38271, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 46-55, Consulting

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Start giving her way TMI like how you guys have sex. She'll stop asking.

- Response by newnumbersguy32, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Financial / Banking

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My only child is 19. I couldn't imagine having to tell her to get dressed. I could only imagine her response... Lol My Mother raised us to be very independent and I raised my daughter the same way. We are not supposed to raise kids for our homes only but for the world in which they are to spend the majority of their life. So teaching us to how to live requires a certain amount of letting go at various stages. Your Mom sounds like she hasn't let go yet. (She'll never fully let go but your relationship with her should change as you get older. You are not 9 anymore).

Are you an only child or the last to leave the nest? Maybe she's having a hard time letting go if so...

Tell her "Mom, you are still my Mom, not like one of my girlfriends. I will always need you in my life but not to tell me how to dress or take care of my hygiene. You taught me well enough as a child to know these things so you don't have to tell me now."

Start easing off of taking her calls all the time and be less inclusive with details about your dates. Gradually she'll find some interest of her own and detach from the daily details of your life. You don't have to be rude, just slowly help her let go of the apron strings.

- Response by thottienc, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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We all have gone through the same thing. At 19, you are still her little girl but you crave your own independence. You will do the same to your kids. My Ma was "coaching" me until I was 30+ and married. The term "OK Mom" will get worn out as you learn its kinder, quicker and easier to play along over the phone and then just do as you see fit.
She died unexpectedly a few years ago and like others have said, you don't appreciate or miss them until they're gone.

- Response by singledad281, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Houston, Hospitality

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I know how you feel. I'm in my 40's and my mother still tries that with me. Nip it in the bud early or she will always treat you like you are 6 years old. Part of being a parent is letting go...

- Response by cocoacurevelous, A Hip Hop Girl, Female, 46-55, Administrative

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