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Active Questions

Does a married man truly fall in love with another woman?
Dating, Sex & Intimacy / 1:48 AM - Friday April 24, 2009

does a married man truly fall in love with another woman?

- Asked by A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35, Sydney

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hell no! a married man has no reason falling in love with any woman other than his wife. he just uses the other woman as a booty call when he cant get any from his wife.

- Response by amandasboy, A Father Figure, Male, 66 or older, Atlanta, Retired

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Yes, I have and still am. I love two women.

- Response by A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older, Retired

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Yes, but the difference between love and infatuation is difficult to tell, and infatuation will do as well to shatter the marriage.

Good luck and God bless

- Response by kravjar666, A Father Figure, Male, 46-55, Los Angeles, Consulting

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it is rare but itdoes happen. for the most part though it is BS that the ceating men spew to get into your pants on a regular basis.

- Response by sirkermittsg, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Dallas, Transportation

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First nice guy answer is funny - the "hell no"
Of course! many men do. Some leave marriage for the love but most others don't.
I was in a relationship with a married man for ten years. It was mostly LDR. We never talk about the wife. I know he will never leave her. During the 10 ys I was engaged for a year and in another relationship for few months. Of course the married was on hold at that time.
BUT you should be aware of this. A married man hardly leave his wife just for you. Marriage is not a love relationship as some people think. after a year it become like a business or a work place whether you like it or not you have to do what you are suppose to do. People don't and cannot quit marriage quickly as we see on movies. SO the other women should not put her life on hold for a married man no matter how much they love each other.

Morals and principles respones are beautiful but we are talking here about facts and prcatices.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Other Profession

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It depends on the man, the wife, and the other woman.

Which one are you in this situation? That's what this is really about, isn't it?

- Response by steveharrymike, A Creative, Male, 46-55, Los Angeles, Artist / Musician / Writer

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I think it is possible for a married man to fall in love with another woman. If he is not connected with his wife emotionally or physically and they're not communicating, and another woman is fulfilling those needs then yes it is likely that he will fall in love.

- Response by An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35, New York

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I have been married for 15 years, in love with my wife for most of them, still very attached to her, we have 3 kids. 5 years ago, i started a new job and became close to one of my employees with whom I developped a real chemistry. I never was in love with but we had a real connection and spoke a lot at work and outside. I did not mind that she had boyfriends and adventures, we spoke about it casually. After a couple of years, I discovered she had a crush on me. It did not move me as I felt immune. At a certain point we got intimate but this was really just incidents and did not last. She always told me that she did not want to ruin my life and get involved with me so we always controlled ourselves to avoid incidents. A year ago, when I felt that this story was going too far, I told her that we could not see each other again. She was devastated and went into depression, i stuck around because I felt bad and did not want to leave her alone. That's then things started going wrong. She felt betrayed and depressed all the time and I could not make her feel better because she knew we would not be together. Little by little I felt we started drifting apart and I started to panick to the idea that she would not be around anymore and realized that I could not live without her. She was trying to see me less to get me out of her mind. 2 months ago she was organizing a big party and I was invited. I told her I had to bring my wife. This was like the ultimate shock to her, so much that she called a guy that was into her and after the party the slept together. the next day she was in tears and told me what happened. I was shattered, I could not take it. Since then, I am a mess, every time we speak we end up damaging each other because we are so much in love and can't seem to make sense of the future. We speak like 5 times a day and try to avoid the touchy subject but I know deep inside that it is over. We have agreed that we shall never be together and that she needs to move on but I can't accept it. I have fallen so much for her after all these years that I am unable to picture my life without her. At the same time she does not want me to leave, she wants me to stay close because we are soulmates but I can't do it, I want to be with her but I will not be able to see her with someone else.
I sometimes imagine that we are together because we have been together for 5 years and barely touched each other a couple of times but it's the fact that we can talk for hours and never get enough, we are so in love. I tend to believe that if we went into a relationship that I would leave my wife because I am so afraid of losing the love of my life. She doesn't want to hear it because she is afraid I will let her down like I have done it in the past. Also she cannot live with the idea that she would break a family apart.
Now we are in a situation where we cannot be together and we cannot break up because I can't leave her and she needs me to get over this.

- Response by fallingrockzone, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 36-45, Managerial

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This is actually a comment for fallingrockzone;
You are so preoccupied with the "other girl" save for a sentence or two, you said nothing about your wife. yet you are absolutely sure you want to stay in the marriage.
what I think, as a by stander, is that you are more occupied with the "will it happenwith the new girl/ won't it happen" than with the affair itself and with its consequence.
Try to imagine yourself in the new situation, after the rocky ride to a new happiness resort, after the dicission to leave your wife is made and done, will this new partner replace your long relation with your wife. Where will you stand after you have conquered the lover? basically at the same situation. you will be with a partner, you will get tired of her as you have gotten with your wife.
I personally think we all do it for the "rocky ride", to enlighten our dead soles,in order to bring some adrenallin and make things more interesting. As I am writting this I am thinking of myself.
As I said, I am a bystander, and am here since I am facing a situation my self in which the emotion is litterally killing me. So I cannot be a judge to anyone.
We should all treat this as a biological thing that we cannot change or fight and we must learn to live with it in the best possible way. Be forgivefull to ourselves and partners that are surely facing somewhere in the relationship a similar situation. As one smart girl said: "marriage is not love it is a business deal" the love in it is short lived the rest of the deal is bearable only when it is interesting.
As a conclussion; before marrying you should first be friends and then lovers. If you have a good and interesting friend at home you are sure to be happy and faithful and alive.

- Response by oldandwiseatlast, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Tel Aviv

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I have a friend who I have known for many years but in the last year we have become really close through church and work activities. He has been there for me in some dark times when I was hurt by my last relationship. Our friendship began very innocent and a year has gone by since we started this close friendship. We recently expressed that we have feelings for one another but know we cannot be together. However, we truly feel in love. We have not slept together but have been physical in other ways. We are trying to break apart from the sneaking around and being alone but I really beleive we are soulmates and I believe we love eachother. He married his wife when they were very young because she got pregnant and they have stuck it out for 25 years but always up and down (as most relationships are). He says he loves her but of course the passioante "in-love" feeling is missing and they are very different people. He sees in me all the things he wants in a woman and his wife has never been able to meet those needs in terms of being that kind of person (spontaneous, taking care of her looks, wokring out, loving life, being happy). We know eachother's families and we agree that so many people would be devastated if they found out. We are trying to stop but my question is this "Can this really be true love?" and "would he ever leave her?"

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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This is to A Thinker. At least give him the chance to have a clear mind (not clouded with lust), let him deal with his affairs with his wife first. When they truly are divorced, you can start a clean slate with him. Have a conscience.... don't be the other woman who wrecks a marriage.

- Response by livelovelaugh64, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Portland, Administrative

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Of course a guy can. I started seeing a man who I thought was single then in three months found out from a common friend he was married. At that point I had feeling but was willing to walk away. I spoke to him about it. He told me he filed for divorce. I had a strong feeling he was lying. I see him in common places as we live in the same town. A month of this went by and we started speaking again and he told me he was in love with me. I was in shock all I could say was I'm not there. I would never ruin a marriage, or a family so I could never be with him. He's also 20 years my senior. I know hes in love because his actions make it clear. Everytime he sees me he comes to talk to me, he calls, he texts, he wants a full bown relationship with me. I don't look for him or call or text but I respond occasionally If I feel it's appropriate. The hardest thing about the situation is I am as in love with him as he is with me but I will never let him know nor will I ever show that as I know it would result in others getting hurt. At this point he thinks that I have been losing interest in him when in fact this has been one of the hardest decisions I've had to make.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 22-25

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I believe a married man can truly fall in love with a woman/ married woman. If you have experienced falling in love with someone or just something in life, ask yourself again, can this really happen. I truly believe that if one has gone through so much within their marriage or even in a relationship to where they have totally been hurt more than once, I believe someone can come along and grab his or her heart. We all have all fallen in love with something in life and so yes, one can fall in love with another man or woman. Has anyone ever witness or experienced a married man and a married woman date for two years and have known each other for 5 years prior to dating the two years. Does anyone think this couple will continue to stay in love and if so, where do you think it will all end up?

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 46-55

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Well i m a girl 20 yrs old.... N i m dating a married man from 1 n a half year..he has a son too whose 1 year old nw..wen we met fr d 1st tym i was totally attracted towards him and from d very first day i knew he was married bt some how god knows y i cudnt control my feelings..v started meeting daily n even he gt attracted towards me..den aftr a month v bth gt intimate wid eachoder n den gt into a relationship..dat tym v bth took r relationship vry lightly but slowly we were jst madly in love wid eachoder n i knw evn he loves me alot bt he wont leave his family fr me n even i dnt want him to do dat..i cant spoil a stable d end i feel so hurt dat i cant even express..i have to share my love wid sum1 else it just pinches me..i jus wanto get out of dis relationship bt i cant think of leaving him..m just too depressed..plz help!

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Kolkatta

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