Back to Home

Active Questions

I am married and have a crush on a married man.
Married Life / 3:10 PM - Thursday April 23, 2009

I am married and have a crush on a married man.

The married man is a dear friend of mine who use to work at the same company as me. I was devasted when he got let go. Occasionally he will send me an email or two and we still talk like we did when we worked together. I think that he is having problems with his marriage and I try to let him know that I am here if he needs to talk but I sit by the computer waiting for him to send me an email and when he does my heart starts to beat fast and I feel like I am a teenager in love. What is wrong with me?????

- Asked by Female, 36-45

Read more about the Rating System


Nothing is wrong with you. You enjoy the attention this man is giving you. Take a deep breath and keep things in perspective.
Don't hope his marriage is not working out, you are also married and your first priority should be to your family.

- Response by livestolaugh, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Managerial

Rating Received:


might not be you as much as it is what you are lacking in your relationship. you are filling a need you are not getting in your marriage. you should figure out what that is.

- Response by jackstraw, A Life of the Party, Male, 36-45, Who Cares?

Rating Received:

Community Rating: Community Star

Sounds like you are finding your marriage boring and you are finding the excitement you miss when you interact with the other man. Try spicing up your own marriage instead of turning to someone else. It may take some hard work but if it is successful it will all be worth it.

- Response by dreamdancer, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Houston, Other Profession

Rating Received:


Offering to be there for him if he needs "to talk" sounds innocent, but you know its not. Its totally inappropriate for a man to be sharing his relationship problems with another woman and we all know how that kind of scenerio usually ends up. And its common for men get easily distracted and tempted when they're going through lots of shit at home, and then there's the (what appears to be) breezier and easygoing one at work offering to be their friend through the whole trouble - a lot of them unfortunately don't have the personal strength to stay away from temptations in times of trouble at home.

So be the bigger person, and leave this man alone. He's still married. Wait to see if he can't work things out with his wife before you try get close to him. Trust me, its not healthy. I've been in your shoes before, and trust me, you'll think a lot more of yourself down the road if you do your best to move on and meet someone else for now. Don't mess with a married man.

- Response by heavenonearth27, A Creative, Female, 26-28, Toronto

Rating Received:


what is wrong with you? your a married woman with a crush on a married man. Point blank. (you will be fine as long as you don't act on anything....)

- Response by uberguber, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Science / Engineering

Rating Received:


Why don't you take a few moments to imagine how you would feel if your husband started the process of divorce? Would you still be thinking that you need to continue this obsession? I don't think so. I think you would know where you need to focus your attentions. Please don't let it go that far.

- Response by lindawilltry, Female, 46-55, Tampa, Fitness

Rating Received:


You need to get your feelings in order and focus on your husband and your marriage...if you are feeling lost and out of touch with him...you really need to rekindle your romance with him...good luck.

Forget about the other dude....honor your husband...especially if he is a good man/husband.

- Response by divatoonami, A Trendsetter, Female, 36-45, Administrative

Rating Received:


Nothing is wrong with you. You haven't even acted on anything. You're a normal marrid woman who probably, as most do, Miss dating. The butterflies that develop in you belly when he walks into a room, the nevervousness you feel when you see his name on your caller I.d., The countless sexy wardrobe changes you make because you want to wear just the right one to impress the hell outa' him. Wondering what type of date he's planned and if you're under-dressed or over-dressed. The expectation of that passionate first kiss on yout front door-steps. the potential invite in. Shall we have a night cap? You probablly envision him taking you in his arms, because the heat and rapture you both feel is beyond.....Whatever. You miss that and you know it, Girl.

- Response by mimimachell, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Self-Employed

Rating Received:


Oh Dang. Thought you said you were married. I Read it too fast. But still, Same goes.

- Response by mimimachell, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Self-Employed

Rating Received:


I can pretty much understand where this person is coming from. Because i am a married man, who has a crush on the sister of a former co-worker of mine. I am currently having problems in my marriage, and she was having problems with her then husband, ex-now. We both we lean on one another and talk about what or what was not taking place at home. I have know this person for almost ten years, back when she wa batteling weight issues, i were there for her. Like this woman says, i am constantly awaiting her phone call to me via my cell. We recently had gotten together and had lunch together. Prior to this, I had not seen her nor talked to her for over a year. My wife doesnt know about this friendship with me and this person. At times i feel guilty, because I should be talking to my wife about our problems. But she has always been there with an open ear, even have given me advice on what to do to make things work. With guys, most of the time we are looking for someone who can understand us when we talk without all the judging.

- Response by bored2009, Female, 36-45, Chicago, Other Profession

Rating Received: