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Active Questions

Why do middle-aged men date women young enough to be their daughters?
Dating / 3:35 PM - Friday April 17, 2009

Why do middle-aged men date women young enough to be their daughters?

Seriously...I find it creepy. And lets just skip the mid-life crisis crap, it's BS. I would like to hear from men who are doing this.

Update: April 18, 2009.
Thank you to all who responded. Your answered were so varied...insightful, humorous, even a few rude ones. Very entertaining... BTW: I have dated both, a much older man when I was younger and a much younger man in my mid 40s. So when I said 'creepy' I wasn't being mean, I was speaking from experience. Now for the young man that referred to me as an 'old whore'...grow up!

- Asked by 4resasplace, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Consulting

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I agree its super creepy. When a guy old enough to be my dad ir granddad, approaches me, I am so creeeped out. And these guys seriously think they have a chance. Ewwwww. S0rry older guys.

- Response by sunset77, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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3 years ago I was living with a woman in her early twenties. When we first starting dating it was fun and exciting. The sex was non-stop,anywhere and everywhere. After she moved in with me it got old quick, the constant day to day drama was to much.

- Response by cjnotoj, A Life of the Party, Male, 46-55, Norfolk, Who Cares?

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LOL. i have dated ladies from 20 years older to 22 years younger. and currently engaged to one 15 years younger (44 & 29). it isn't about a mid life crisis. its about finding that special girl.

look at demi and ashton. look at kim catrall and her young stud of a hubby. there are MANY examples of older women and younger men just as there are older men and younger women (mel gibson and his HOT russian babe oksana pochepa)

- Response by pizzatroll, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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because there the only girls available for a date silly

- Response by vank356, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, Technical

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I'd like to see that same old line in writing too, so I can get exasperated again! " I just prefer younger women" Ugh! I think advertising is to blame Ads are the new bible of social protocol. Let's face it - sex sells. So men are just stupid and suseptible to the jean binet's that are in ads today. It's creepy to see a 15yr old in make-up and tight clothes selling whatever- cars, pens, life insurance, handbags, whatever. So the msg says, "the younger the better". People are assaulted by ads everyday and it goes into subliminal messaging that young equals status, old (women in particular) equals bad or tired. Men don't know why they want young, they just soak up all the sex ads like to dumb sponges they are.
Do ads promote monogamy? True Love? Older women being valuable, preferable? NOt typically. That's partly why I won't let my son watch tv. Too negative about women!!

- Response by A Hippie Chick, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Though I am not dating some one that isyoung enough to be my daughter, would I? In many peoples eyes age is simply a number. It is very prevalent in European countries and is totally acceptable. I think we are to worried about what others may think in America. However, I know of females that are doing the same thing so why do men always get questioned about this?

- Response by rockintxcowboy, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, Who Cares?

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I guess it works for them. Me? I agree, I think it's a bit creepy. I would never date a man who is young enough to have been my son . . . one of my few dating rules.

- Response by carinabay, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Lawyer

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Middle-aged men are dating younger women because women their own age are cougars and have boyfriends that are younger.
Men are realizing that the younger girls are baby machines full of scandal and drama and that older women now, do have nice bodies and do take care of themselves. Women are aging alot more gracefully and alot better than men are.
Its an ego trip for a man to be seen with someone that looks like it could be his daughter. They just don't see how ridiculous they look.
Young women that date older men are doing it because young guys, their own age, don't want the drama and cannot provide the financial security they are yearning for.
I asked by BF this question and this is how he responded, he's 13 yrs. younger than me. He also believe that the sex is better with an older woman because they don't have to worry about birth control.
The difference is that middle-age women are scorned for this type of behavior and men that date younger women are looked at as real studs.

- Response by 3wiltedroses, A Player, Female, Who Cares?, Self-Employed

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I don't believe it's a mid life crisis...My boyfriend is 15 years older than me it doesn't creep me out at all.
I know that some people at the beginning of our relationship thought he was only after one thing and he wasn't...Not all men are like that.

Honestly, It's the best relationship I've ever been in...He's sweet, Good looking, he mostly knows what he wants out of life, And he takes care of me.

Like I said it's not a mid life crisis...Age is a meaningless number, it counts how many years you've been on earth not how old your soul mate is.

Although, it is wrong to date a 14 year old when your like 40...Well, wrong and illegal but as long as your both over 18 and you find happiness...More power to ya.

- Response by supergirl1987, A Life of the Party, Female, 26-28, St.Louis, Other Profession

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Youthful bodies are soft, smooth, tight, toned. my guy is older never had kids, wants to start a family hes in his late forties mature and i'm 26 and mature for my age, we both love eachother and yes older women hate it but we are happy and i think he is very attrective for his age. he wants someone who can have kids.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Other Profession

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S-E-X and recapturing lost youth.

And it is ALL because some women let them.

I am not doing this, but a colleague is.

He's 45, spent his youth chasing the almighty dollar but without any significant female relationship. He made his money and is now chasing what he didn't have then, with a former student (!!) who is 20+ years younger. Yes, it's pretty pathetic, but not entirely unimaginable.

AND I think it will continue for as long as there are younger women who, for whatever reason, continue to let such men do so.

- Response by cd92835, A Career Man, Male, 46-55

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I think men dating younger women and Women dating younger Men helps keeps the older young.
Mentally, Physically and Emotionally.

- Response by A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, New South Wales, Who Cares?

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I am 24 my boyfriend is 32. We have been together for 3 years and research shows that this age gap between two lovers is quite common- as women are a few years more mature than men (which we all know is a fact) it balances itself out!

- Response by butterflyoz, A Trendsetter, Female, 29-35, Melbourne, Consulting

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There is a 15+ year age gap between my s/o and me. I just assume it's because she's very particular, intelligent, insightful...and she really knows how to pick 'em. :)

- Response by stillagoodguy1, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Political / Government

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not a man but I think men do it for an ego boost. Dating a woman younger and feeling or thinking she is really attractedto them for them feels good.

- Response by phenomenal1woman, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Chicago

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- Response by osieboo, A Thinker, Female, 56-65

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In all honesty, I don't look for the younger ones. They approach me. It never fails, when I'm at the beach on my scooter, I will almost always be approached by women in their 20's and early 30's. They are fun to be with and aren't critical of everything you do. Older women are also quite hard to please in general. I don't exclude women my age at all. The last 3 were 42-45 and ALL of them did nothing but talk about what's wrong with their lives, their X's and anything else they felt the need to bitch about. THAT'S NOT FUN OR APPEALING TO ANYONE........

- Response by singledad281, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Houston, Hospitality

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youth of a younger woman sometimes makes an older guy to feel younger himself.
I date younger women because they want to have lots of fun. I have been with women my age that do not want to do anything at all to have fun....(camping, boating, snorkeling,scuba diving, among things).

- Response by amandasboy, A Father Figure, Male, 66 or older, Atlanta, Retired

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Because men are assholes-they fail to realize that sexy women are sexy at ANY age, not just 19-year-old, airbrushed, implanted bimbos!!!!

Men really suck!

- Response by sexylisa, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Miami, Administrative

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Ok so I'm 40. How young do you think is young...25, 28, 30, 32.

I think you'll actually find these couples hook up because they are compatible for many other reasons than just age.....or as you might like to say age difference...........wh at about the I.Q of each person, hey come to think of that, what about the emotional intiligence of those individuals too.

- Response by spadeace, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Who Cares?

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Why is it creepy? I date younger men and you are in my age group, so don't judge. I myself am not turned on to men in my age group.Why judge if people want to hook up or date it is their own thing.I attract younger men and I enjoy them. I don't look my age and find men and women in my age group to have too much baggage and to be jaded.

- Response by naturegurl2009, A Creative, Female, 56-65, Who Cares?

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I'm not quite sure of their reasoning behind it but i'm okay with it :D

- Response by girlnextdoor1687, A Hippie Chick, Female, 26-28, Other Profession

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I'm not sure of their reasoning but as long as you can differ the crepy ones from the non-creepy ones, i'm definatly okay with it :)

- Response by girlnextdoor1687, A Hippie Chick, Female, 26-28, Other Profession

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I believe some middle-aged men date women young enough to be their daughters for many of the reasons that the people here listed. They like the visual stimulus of the younger female with her young feminine figure. The men may also be interested in having children if they don't already have them. Some people are against adoption or foster care. They also know that these women are naive and don't know all the games men can play.

The downside as men mentioned are that these women are often full of drama and don't really know the ways of the world. I believe that there is an upside and downside to dating these younger women.

Many men including myself see these young attractive women and say wow what an attractive young lady. I don't see me dating someone that young though. Unless it's a very rare case, you have to deal with people looking and staring and saying why is he dating someone so young. Couldn't he find someone his own age? Also, I need someone I can relate to. It's nice to be able to talk about similar music and interests. This normally won't happen with a woman 20 years younger.

Also, what about the young woman's needs? I'm having trouble understanding how a young 20 something wouldn't want to be out clubbing, hanging out at malls and doing whatever 20 somethings do.

- Response by rjack90, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, Science / Engineering

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I was wondering that myself,just yesterday, when I saw the news of Mel Gibson dating a 24 year old. His wife is filing for divorce I believe. Anyway, I think it makes them feel young. Some men just want to recapture their youth, and it is flattering to be involved with a younger woman.

- Response by A Married Girl, Female, 66 or older, Philadelphia, Retired

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I know you want to hear from men... but i have had my share of experiences that might help. First off young women make them feel younger, and attractive and they feel like they still got it going on by having a young girl interested in him. while he feels this way the young girls either seek security and true love in the older man, or they might be gold digging also cheating on their bf's because they are not faithful and feel they need revenge.

- Response by rosy84, A Married Girl, Female, 29-35

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Older guys have more money.

- Response by jophus, A Rebel, Male, 29-35, Artist / Musician / Writer

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I'm probably not much help here because I honestly don't know. This is something that as a man I don't understand, but I'll give you the few thoughts I do have on it.

I've been married 21 yrs, my wife is only younger by 3 yrs. I can tell you in all honesty that if I were to all of a sudden find myself single, I would have no interest in dating younger women and would seek women closer to my age range. Majority of the middle aged men I know who are single now ended up that way from chasing after young girls, and are evidently real slow learners.

My friends are mostly all married as well, in happy stable marriages, and knowing them the way I do I honestly can't see them going for the young ones either if they became single. One is a widower at 51 and dates women in his age range. He's had some in the young 20s come onto him and his impression was that either they were gold diggers with ulterior motives or just plain nuts. I know there are cases where younger woman-older guy relationships are based on things other than sex and money and the intentions of both are genuine, but I do tend to think that the men who seek much younger women and avoid their own age group are men with issues that no sane woman of any age would want to deal with if she knew.

- Response by A Rebel, Male, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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Because they can? Seriously, it all depends on what both the
man and the woman want. I mean, we are talking consenting
adults here, or are you saying women below a certain age should
not be allowed to date men older than a certain age?

My criteria for a woman's age is that she be old enough to know
what she wants and young enough to have healthy children
without being in a hurry to have a child because her bio-alarm
clock is ringing. I also want someone who does not already
have children unless there is no chance whatsoever that the
person who fathered the child will ever come back into our lives. This usually means late 20's to early/mid 30's.

- Response by richard233, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55

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See I kind of fit this category, but I don't date men quite old enough to be my dad. If they are 18+ years older I won't even consider it. The oldest I've ever dated is 12 years older than me. But I tend to go with an older man because men my age aren't mature enough for me. No one ever thinks I'm 21 by the way I talk and discuss things, so I've never had luck with a man my age. Plus men my age, are inexperienced, and unable to hold a decent conversation, and all the things that second guy said about young women. There's so much drama and jealousy and they can't understand how a woman can be just friends with a guy. So I mean I really enjoy the company of older men because I just need someone that can have a decent conversation... and everytime you want to discuss literature, or something intelligent it's not listed as "GAY" or something else like that. So I'm kind of the exact opposite of the question. But I wanted to give the insite from the woman's prospective on the "young enough to be their daughters bit." Plus older men are easier to please, they're relaxed, they aren't looking at every piece of ass that walks down the street, and they are so appreciative of someone who just appreciates them. And they aren't commitment phobes!

- Response by neuroticallyyours2005, A Creative, Female, 26-28, Artist / Musician / Writer

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I am not. But they say its not creepy she over 18. Why do women do this? Would you date a guy young enough to be your son. Its also not there daughter. Its a two way street some young women want date men that old.

- Response by twilightzone85, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 29-35, Milwaukee, Food Service

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I once dated a man 12 years older than myself, it was because of genuine interests we had in each other. I was 24, he was 36. However, I have a close male friend 50ish who enjoys dating younger women because he has been hurt very deeply and when she says she loves him...he drops her like he got third degree burns just from talking with her. So, it could be any number of reasons. Depends on the couple.

- Response by ntnse01, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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well i aint the man, but was the woman and well it was great while it lasted....the best relationship i was in was when i was 23-24 and the guy was 47, he actually had a daughter --well 3 daughters and 1 was a year younger than was great while it lastest, but he eventually found some reason to wonder how it would be when he was 60 and i was -well we split up very was a fun of the best actually....

- Response by choozywife, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Medical / Dental

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I don't have a problem with it, because in most cases, I'm not all that interested in men my age. I find them a little boring, and they seem to complain a lot. They also expect you to defer to them or take care of them. Not all, to be fair, I'm generalizing here.

Young men, on the other hand, don't fall asleep after sex, tend to be much more imaginative and willing to try new things, are usually more optomistic and positive about life in general, laugh more, and make me laugh more. They are also more physically attractive, and the power is more equally distributed.

I don't really worry about age that much, though. I like men of all ages, and apparently they like me! Last week, an 89-year-old man asked me to go dancing, and a 21-year-old clerk at PetsMart asked if I wanted to have coffee some time! (I declined both offers...) LOL

- Response by myowntwofeet, An Alternative Girl, Female, 46-55, Los Angeles, Other Profession

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my boyfriend is 8.5 years older than me and i think that if you are in love with someone age shouldn't matter at all.

- Response by diannone, A Creative, Female, 22-25, Vancouver, Student

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This is very simple. Younger women are more attractive, in an absolute sense, to all men, of all ages. This is not to say there are not exceptions. For women, the characteristics fostering attraction are quite different (physical attributes are observed by women, but as a much lower priority). Personality and character are far more significant as a basis of attraction, for women. Hey, don't blame me. The guy upstairs created all of this. It is what it is. Of course, there are sound anthropological rationales for this, which you can research fairly easily.

To those young women here who are "creeped-out", I'd like to pose a follow-on question: suppose the approacher (dirty old man) were Richard Gere (60), Michael Douglas (65), John Travolta (56), Brad Pitt (46), George Clooney (48), Johnny Depp (46), etc. etc., you get the picture? Would you still think they were "creepy".

PS. Would someone please define "creepy"? According to the dictionary: "Of or producing a sensation of uneasiness or fear, as of things crawling on one's skin: a creepy feeling; a creepy story." This is kind of how I feel when I see some of the tatoos on you 20 somethings! Kidding!

- Response by A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65

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What about the younger women who are actually attracted to an older man? I personally think a lot of men become more attractive towards their late 40s, I can't really explain why that it but regardless of some men's reasons behind dating younger women, their are those who are in love with a women much younger than him... By the way, I'm still a teenager so, some of you may find what I just said a little creepy

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Sydney, Student

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It is extremely inappropriate. Women looking from our stand point find it pathetic.I believe the first reason is superficial reasons #1Body, #2 Trophy, #3 Can't offer much to age appropriate women in the personality department. But it is true men are just more immature(not always. Statistically men who seek much younger women eight plus yrs get left for younger men they like to chase them but quite often leave for the young men to settle down with. Older men cant compete with younger men. ( There are clearly exceptions to every rule just stating research stats.

- Response by A Married Girl, Female, 36-45, Indianapolis, Self-Employed

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From what i've been told by the few that I dated who were much older... it's because the age group of 25-35 takes really good care of themselves where as the younger ones are still too immature and the older ones are close minded and don't take care of themselves as much. Meaning, clothing, working out, doing their hair/nails... things like that.

- Response by joent612, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Tampa, Administrative

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Because we can.

Youthful bodies are soft, smooth, tight, toned and wildly energetic.

Don't be jealous, lady.

- Response by An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Los Angeles, Financial / Banking

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because they you young and delicious

- Response by newnumbersguy32, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Financial / Banking

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