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When a guy friend asks you for lunch who pays
Dating / 9:48 PM - Tuesday April 14, 2009

when a guy friend asks you for lunch who pays

I met this guy on match and we went to dinner 5 times. Then one day he emailed me and told me that he was seeing another person who he thought 3was a better match. I was crushed. That was a month ago and he is still active on match. But he emailed me and said that the weather was getting nice and that we should go bike ridding one day and maybe have lunch. What would I make of this? Should I go and who pays for lunch.

- Asked by china54, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 56-65

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There is no way in hell I'd continue to entertain the thought of a future with a man that met me first, went out with me, and then had the audacity to tell me, he's seeing someone else that he thought was a better choice. I understand that after just 5 dinner dates, or a month ago, doesn't mean he didn't have a right to explore all of his options. I'm sure you were not the only match that came up. He has every right to date and pursue whomever he chooses. However, what he said, would have turned me off. His other better match must not have been available. If he invited you, he should pay for the day out.

- Response by thelovedovefor1, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Who Cares?

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i would go if i had nothing to do, if you have nothing to do then just go, and he would end up buying luch he invited you

- Response by macdolly10, An Alternative Girl, Female, 22-25, Student

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What do you want to make of it?

I think that's the chance you take when you do online dating. You have to remember that they are not talking to only you and dating only you.

It's up to you, though. Do you want to see him again? Do you want to give him another chance? Do you know if he wants to go as just friends?

- Response by fizzzzle, A Creative, Female, 26-28, Student

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He should pay. He invited you, most gentlemen pays. If he starts looking at you crossed-eye then you can pull out your wallet and cover yourself. But he should pay. he asked.

- Response by alicjohns9, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Los Angeles, Financial / Banking

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sounds to me like his "better match" didn't work out and he's hoping to come back for a second go-round. It up to you if you want to or not. Though I'd be feeling a bit like if I wasn't good enough before what makes me good enough now? He asked - he pays.

- Response by grinandbareit, An Engaged Guy, Male, 46-55, Other Profession

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Nope. You both are in this for different reasons. Sounds like the common story of someone that is a serial monogomous, that jumps from relationship to relationship always looking for something better and greater. Even if they are settled and married they will give that up if they think someone else will make them happier. No way, not for me...hope not for you either-I wouldn't hang out with him and risk getting stronger feelings. And if you do, only for it to be harder break up if it DOES get serious.

- Response by A Sportif, Female, 29-35, Student

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How did the first 5 dates go? Maybe he realized the grass is greener on your side of the fence. He obviously hasnt been to Dale Carnegie.

- Response by A Career Man, Male, 46-55, New York, Who Cares?

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Sounds like he's interviewing someone for a job.

I would cut my losses. If he thought he found a "better match" then came back, who's to say he wont do it again? Don't get closer and let him drag your heart in the dirt.

- Response by waitinggirl22, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Los Angeles

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I think that depends on you. If you want to go I would, but go as friends not get emotionally attached. Just feel the waters. There is one thing I have learned is never let a man know how much you love or care about them, because it seems to give them an advantage. I was married for 20 yrs and it was really bad and got with this guy I went with when I was 17 yrs old and it is the best thing. We take turns paying. When he gets paid he will pay and when I get paid I pay. If he offers to pay I would let him and if not I would pay for myself. It seems to me he don't know what he wants. This other person must not have been a better match that he is asking to do something with you. The main thing is always remember is to be HAPPY. No matter what. I wish you luck on whatever you decide.

- Response by plane66, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Administrative

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Friends always at least offer to go dutch. When the check comes go for your handbag, if he stops you the lunch is on him. If he doesn't pay your half and know you guys are friends. Heck you can't have too many friends. I am NOT a fan of internet dating though. Please be very careful.

- Response by leeleelucky, A Hippie Chick, Female, 46-55, Philadelphia, Administrative

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DO NOT GO!!!! He crushed you once so why go through it again? But if you decide to go since it seems you are going as friends you should split the bill

- Response by tp7hw36, A Hip Hop Girl, Female, 26-28, Pittsburgh

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